Lesbian Eskimo Midget Left-Handed Ninja Albino
The Dead Milkmen

Now I understand some of you don't know Sarah Jane, so I'll tell you a little bit about her. She's a lesbian eskimo midget albino. she went to college and she started the lesbian eskimo midget albino student union, and 400 people signed up! There they were, hundreds of 'em - lesbian midget left-handed eskimo albinos. Did i mention the fact she's left handed? She's left handed alright. Girl's got some strange hobbies. One of her hobbies is lowering children into open man-holes. Which is kind of difficult cause a lot of the children are taller than her, her being a midget and everything - or her being a left-handed midget - or her being a left-handed lesbian midget - or her left-handed lesbian albino midget - or her being a left-handed lesbian albino midget eskimo. Life can be really difficult on that young lady. She bit me once, you know. Right here. You see this? Left a mark. She was lowering a friend of mine's kid into the sewer. I run up and tried to stop her, I said listen there you lesbian midget left-handed albino! You stop right there! And she bit me. I'm afraid I'm gonna... I'm gonna turn into a lesbian left-handed midget albino when the moon is full. Oh my god the moon is full tonight! I can feel myself shrinking. I can feel myself getting left-handed. I can feel myself getting the urge to build an igloo. I can feel my skin turning white and my eyes getting red. I can feel - I can feel the urge to buy a Suzanne Vega album! Noooo!!! Noooo!!!! Noooo!!!! Auuggghhh!!! Oh, okay, it was just gas.

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Lyrics by The Dead Milkmen

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