I picked up this midget, very very well dressed, Italian suit, good looking, with a beautiful tall blonde-Was it a lady midget?No, the guy was a midget, the blonde was the ladyOh, I got yaThose midgets are funny... sometimes I'd like to hold a midget.. I mean they're funny, they always wanna sit in the front seat(Chorus)Word!Midget... is a midgetMidget, mi-mi-mi-mi-midgetFidget.. its a midgetHEY YOU GUYS!Word!(Repeat)The little man knows allLife's got me madBut if I had a midget I'd be gladTo watch him jump around on my nintendo powerpadHe'd have a big head short legs and long torsoThe name that I give my pet midget is little GordoI'd teach him tricks like backflips and side kicksWhen company came over he'd perform and get tipsWhile I'm eatin at night, in the kitchen he'd be ableTo get the food scraps that I threw under the tableIf my midget was ever mad and acted enragedThen I'd take him to the bathroom and put him in his cageBut If he kept acting up and really made me sickI'd hang him upside down and poke him with a stickLittle Gordo would be good most of the time thoughHe'd like to wear a helmet and run around yelling KaiyoI'd take him for walks in the park on the weekendsAnd if he saw other midgets he'd say Can we be friendsHe'd only need a 3 foot coffin when he was deadAnd he'd be in the guiness book for the world's biggest headWhat a funny little fellow, but don't call him a shrimpOr he'll attack your leg cause Gordos a tough gimpHe'd have a pogo ball that he'd bounce on for hoursAnd dirty little fathead Gordo would'nt take showersWhen Halloween came, he wouldn't be a chumpGettin all the candy goin round as a tree stump(Chorus)Like a midget in the urinal, I was gonna have to stay on my toesSometimes my friends would chase Gordo with a gunIt be funBecause midgets wobble when they runThey're so close to the ground and so easy to kickThey're so slow in the head and so easy to trickGordo could do somersaults his special thingAt the fair I would make him enter mudwrestlingSometimes he'd wear stilts and pretend to be tallThen I'd kick him over- and then i'd laugh at him fallSilly little Gordo, just be yourselfI'd put wood on his head, and he'd just be a shelfHe'd do funny little dances but that's irrelevantAt the beach Gordo got attacked by pelicansHe had a girlfriend once, but she was an ogreIt didn't last long cause he couldn't fuck her soberGordo had a problem, Gordo wet the bedso i'd make him wear diapers on his ass and his headHe'd have to clean up his own cage himselfAnd if he lost a little weight he'd be a keebler elfHe'd really be something, my mangled little munchkinPlus his head would be larger then any big pumpkinThis perfect little fool would make a perfect footstoolSometimes I'd kick him in his head and say bitch be coolI'd have a great life, I'd be happy I knowIf I only owned a little pet midget named Gordo(Chorus)
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Stolen (Remix) - Jay Sean
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Round and Round - If
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Stand - Al Denson
Love Story - NOFX
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Stand - Sly & The Family Stone
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