[** feat. Michael Bolton:][Intro:]*[Intercom:] Guys, Michael Bolton is here[Andy:] Oh great, send him in.[Michael:] Hey guys[All:] Hey, thanks for coming.[Andy:] How's it goin'?[Michael:] I'm really sorry I'm late I just got caught up watching the Pirates of the Caribbean marathon... have you seen those things?[All:] Oh yeah, yeah, those are, those are great.[Michael:] Well I listened to your track and I loved it, and I wrote you this big, sexy hook I think you're gonna really dig.[Andy:] Oh wow that's great, awesome. You wanna just lay it down?[Michael:] Boys let's get to it (to it to it to it)[Andy:]Uh, Lonely Island, Michael Bolton (Yeah)The night starts nowTogether on the track, the boys are backThe night starts nowNight starts now, baby, roll with usChickens snapping at the neck when we rollin' up (Rollin' up!)Blow through the doors, ain't no holdin' upBlack card at the bar like I gives a fuck (Come on!)[Jorma:]Ladies shifty eyed when we walk into the setFuck the fellas looking jealousPlay the back and get wet (Yeah yeah)Three pound in my waist, shank in my sock,You either get cut, get stuffed or get shot.[Michael:]This is the tale of Captain Jack SparrowPirate so brave on the seven seas (What?)A mystical quest to the isle of TortugaRaven locks sway on the ocean's breeze[Akiva:]Yeah that was kinda weird, but we're back in the clubBuying up the bar so the groupies show us love (Keira Knightley!)Motherfucking ice-man, I'm the top gunnerHeater on blast, I'm the number one stunner (Jack Sparrow!)[Andy:]Watch it girl cause I ain't your Mr. Nice Guy,More like the meet ya, take you home and fuck you twice guy(Yeah yeah!)All dressed up with nowhere to run,And now I make you feel crazy with the-(Now back to the good part!)[Michael:]From the day he was bornHe yearned for adventure (No!)Old Captain Jack (Yeah)Giving them what forHe's the pauper of the surfThe jester of Tortuga (Oh God)But is Davy Jones' lockerWhat lies in store? (Yeah, we've seen the movie)[Andy:]Throw your hands in the airAnd say hell yeah[Michael:]Captain Jack (What?)Johnny Depp (No)[Jorma:]From the front to the backSay we count stacks c'mon[Michael:]Davy Jones (Nope)Giant squid (Wrong)[Akiva:]Michael Bolton we're really gonna need you to focus up[Michael:]Roger that let me try it with another film (Wait)Life is a box of chocolates and my name is Forrest Gump (Not better)Though I'm not the sharpest tool in the shedI give Jenny all my love (Come on)Okay, then I'm a legal aidErin Brockovich is my name (Oh God)Then you can call me ScarfaceSnortin' mountains of cocaine (Close enough)You cockroaches wanna play rough?Okay, I'm reloaded! Ha ha!This is the tale of Tony MontanaCubano flame with the Miami nuts(Take it home!)Got a basehead wifeBut her womb is pollutedThis whole town's a pussyJust waiting to get fuckedJust waiting to get fucked!(Okay it turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile)You complete me (Yeah, yeah okay)
Lyrics by The Lonely Island
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