It's a most unusual play;Feel like throwing my tickets away,'Cause the boy gets the boyAnd the girl gets the girlAnd it's way too far off Broadway.It's a most unusual plotWhich I've either blocked out or forgot;I don't know what it meansBut they all wear blue jeansAnd they scratch themselves quite a lot.There's no scenery, there's no lighting,There's no costumes; oh, what art!If there only were no house lights,I would sneak up the aisle and depart.There's a most unusual sceneWhere this man dates this Xerox machine,So his girlfriend gets madAnd she murders the cadTo the tune of Begin the BeguineIn this most unusual, most unusual, most unusual play.Oh, the language is a bit loose;It's decidedly not Mother Goose.Outside on the marqueeThis quotation you'll see:I was shocked! and it's signed Lenny Bruce.It's a play where something went wrong'Cause it's five hours, twelve minutes long.If you sit there, my friend,From beginning to endThen your bladder better be strong.There are people hitting people;There's a couple in a cage.There's neurotics, there's narcotics,And the bathroom is right on the stage!It's a great big critical smash,And it's raking in all kinds of cash.But the theater's appallingWith things that are crawling;I think I am getting a rashFrom this most unusual, most unusual, most unusual play.
Lyrics by Allan Sherman
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