LyricMeaning

Every Time You Stifle A Sneeze
Lemon Demon

Every time you stifle a sneeze, the force of the sneeze cannot simply disappear from existence. It must manifest elsewhere, often causing a small creature to explode or a chef’s hat to fly off into the air.

La toque blanche. The chef’s hat. Why is it shaped like a mushroom cloud? Because they both sure can cook. And why is a mushroom cloud shaped like a mushroom? Not many people know this, but out in the forest, right where every mushroom grows, there used to be a tiny Japanese city, so tiny that even David the Gnome could commit accidental genocide just by taking a poop without looking.

Ironically, Gnome Poop is highly sought after in Japan, because of its mystical properties and because it tastes good on sushi, for people who can’t handle wasabi. Here in America, Gnome Poop’s mystique is somewhat overshadowed by that of Unicorn Seed! the hip new soda pop that all the kids are guzzling on the street corners. Its popularity has been hugely fostered by product placement in popular films. For instance, in the film “Muscular Hooker 2”, Will Smith’s character takes a dramatically-framed swig of Unicorn Seed! and then suddenly grows a CGI erection which extends into infinity, and then Will Smith’s mind explodes, and the movie ends.

For that scene alone, Roger Ebert gives the film 3 and a half stars. Not many people know this, but movie critics have a finite amount of stars they can award in their lifetime. They are often kept in a vault, heavily secured to prevent a senile Scrooge McDuck from wandering in, mistaking the stars for gold coins, and swimming in them. This is for Scrooge’s own protection, as the stars have sharp edges and would lacerate his body into a bloody feathered pulp.

If this were to happen, his will states that the entire McDuck fortune will go to his grandnephews Huey, Dewey, and Louie, and that his nephew Donald will get zilch, because nobody understands what the Christ he is saying anyway so who cares. As for Scrooge McDuck’s body, it will be jerked and eaten, as per Scottish tradition.

Indeed, cannibalism of the dead is a cherished custom in Scotland. When a Scottish boy’s coming of age is celebrated (a ceremony known as the Scot Mitzvah) he is forced to consume his own great-grandfather, bones and all, in just 24 hours, or else the local Shaman will hit him on the head with a magical stick that stops him from ever becoming an adult.

Now, you might think that eternal childhood wouldn’t be such a bad thing, Never-Never-Land and all that jazz. But no! Once your parents are dead, there’s nothing to stop you from eating nothing but sweets, as children are wont to do. And when your baby teeth have rotted away, there will be no adult teeth to take their place. Toothless, stupid, and unkissed by the spirits of puberty, you will be banished from Scotland to the only place in this world where an awkward man-child such as yourself can ever hope to be accepted— Ireland.

You will live as a leprechaun. You will don a false beard and a green bowler and stand on the streets jabbering about a nonexistent pot of gold. When darkness falls, you will sleep in an alley on a bed of night soil, clutching a potato, which will be your surrogate mother. If you are found by leprechaun poachers, your only hope for escape is to mesmerize them with a sprightly leprechaun jig, and then stab their eyes out with your leprechaun stiletto. Then you must run away— to find another Irish hamlet, and the cycle will repeat forever until one of three things happens: 1. The poachers get too smart for you. 2. You starve to death. 3. The stifled sneeze of a distant someone causes you to explode and die.


  Purchase "Every Time You Stifle A Sneeze"   Purchase Entire Album   Email Video to Friends   Play Youtube "Every Time You Stifle A Sneeze" Video   Play Spotify "Every Time You Stifle A Sneeze" Song   View Wikipedia "Every Time You Stifle A Sneeze" Entry   Receive Emails for Future Lemon Demon Lyrics

Email:

  Link to "Every Time You Stifle A Sneeze"   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Lyrics For You

Loading...

Lyrics by Lemon Demon

  123456 Pokemon   Action Hero Movie Boy   AMNESIA WAS HER NAME   Archaeopteryx   Ask For Nothing   Atomic Copper Claw   Bad Idea   Behold the FUTUURE   Being a Rock Star   Being A Rockstar   Being Alone On Valentine's Day   Ben Bernanke   Between You and Me   Bicycle Race (Queen Cover)   Bill Watterson   Bill Watterson   Bill Watterson (Album Version)   Birdhouse In Your Soul   Birthday (Alligators and Pretzel Makers)   Boat   Booja Jabooja   Bowling Alley   BRODYQUEST   Bystanders   Bystanding   Chu Chu Rocket   Consumer Whore   Correctional Facility Food Sucks   Dance Like an Idiot   Dead Sea Monkeys   Deep In The Ocean   Deep In The Ocean   Degrassi   Destructo!   Dinosaurchestra (Part One)   Dinosaurchestra (Part Three)   Dinosaurchestra (Part Two)   Dizziful Bliss   Eighth Wonder   Elsewhere   Elvis Porn   Eventuality   Everyday French   Eyewishes   Fancy Pants Manifesto   Fiberglass Monkey   Fine   Fire Motif   Flamingo Legs   Fly Straight or Drop the Oar and Wreck   Fuzzy   Gadzooks   Gadzooks (Original Version)   Geeks in Love   Go To Hollywood   Gonna Dig Up Alec Guinness   Goosebumps   Hip Hop Cherry Pop   Holy Bison Beaks   Holy Bison Beaks!   Hyakugojyuuichi   Hyakugojyuuichi 2003   I Know your Name   Idiot Control Now   Indie Cindy and the Lo-Fi Lullabies   It Can Get Lonely in My Mansion   Jaws   Kitten is Angry   Knife Fight   Lawnmower   Lemon Demon   Marketland   Matches and Nails   Modify   Mold En Mono   Money Dollar Bills   Movie Night   Mr. Port-A-Potty Man   Mr. Porta-Potty Man   Mr. Wolfgang   Musical Chairs   Neverending Hum   New Way Out   Nightmare Fuel   Ode to Crayola   Oz Explodes   Party On The Moon   Pepper and Salt   Pirate in a Box   Princess Unicorn Bunny Kitten Angel   Pumpkin Pie   Rainwater   Redesign Your Logo   Relativity   Run, Harry, Run!   SAD   Samuel and Rosella   Sexy DVD   Sick Puppy   Sky is Not Blue   Smell Like a Cookie All Day   Snakes On A Plane   Something Glowing   Somnolence   Space Mission Alpha   Spring Heeled Jack   Stick Stickly   Stuck   Stuck   Subtle Oddities   Sunbeam Light Show Flower Seed   Sundial   Switzerland   Take A Picture   Telekinesis   Ten Thousand Light Years Away   The Afternoon   The Apparate! Suite   The Count Song   The Machine   The Man In Stripes And Glasses   The Next Dimension   The Next Dimension   The Ocean   The Oldest Man On MySpace   The Only House That's Not on Fire (Yet)   The saga of you, confused destoryer of planets   The Satarist's Love Song   The Song You Hear When You Die   The Too Much Song   The Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny   The Wiggles Hate Each Other in Real Life   The World is a Pumpkin   There's A Robot in My Head   This Hyper World   This is Youmacon   Toy Food   Treasure Map   Turkeys   Two Trucks   Ultimate Showdown   Vanilla   Vow Of Silence   What Will Happen Will Happen   What's In The Toaster   When Robots Attack   White Bread Boyfriend   Without My Tonsils   Word Disassociation   Wrong   You Got a Toothache   Your Evil Shadow Has A Cup Of Tea   Your Imaginary Friend

Related Songs

  Don't Pick On Me - Weezer  Don't Pick On Me - Weezer  She Hits Back - Yoko Ono  Achoo! - Sesame Street  For Every Field There's A Mole...  Poplin Twist - Acid Drinkers  For Every Field There's a Mole...  Poplin Twist - Acid Drinkers  Trying To Sneeze - Ben Lee  Sneeze - Andrea Parker  Big Chip - Weezer  The Pop Singer's Fear Of The Pollen Count...  The Pop Singer's Fear Of The Pollen Count...  Superman Song - Black Lace  Superman - Black Lace  Caught A Lite Sneeze - Amos Tori  Summers - Wolverines  Death’s Stifle - Billy The Kid  Eating Cheese - Art Paul Schlosser  Fallen Angel - Ashent  Tenterhook - Orange Juice  The Baby Tree - Jefferson Starship  En Force - Queensryche  Like No One Else - The O.C. Supertones  Embers - Just Jack  Disillusion - Badly Drawn boy  Suffocated Love - Tricky  Ernie Helps Bert With His Sneeze - Sesame Street  Resurrection - Gemini Syndrome  Prayers For Rain - Cure  Prayers For Rain - One Tree Hill  Enemies Ft. Supriz - Wayne Wonder  Spike the Senses - Of Montreal  Warsaw - Belie My Burial  You And A Box Of Handkerchiefs - Toy Dolls  ALL THAT I WANT - Barbra Streisand  Don't Put Your Finger Up Your Nose...  Don't Put Your Finger Up Your Nose...  Jeremiah Peabody's Poly Unsaturated Quick Dissolvi...  Elizabeth Of Glass - All About Eve  No No Fro - Afroman  Caught A Lite Sneeze - Tori Amos  Leaves - The Postmarks  Habits Of Clay - Bad Acid Trip  Hounds - The Secret Bangs  Caught A Light Sneeze - Tori Amos  Caught A Lite Sneeze - Voltaire  Caught A Light Sneeze - Evans Blue  Caught a Lite Sneeze - Evans Blue  Jeremiah Peabody's Polyunsaturated Quick-Dissolvin...  Distant Town - Badly Drawn Boy  Whimsical Actress - Beck  Simply By The Book - Frail  Cowboys & Cut Cigars - The Burning Of Rome  East India Company - B.W. Stevenson  Prayers For Rain - The Cure  Foster - Dynahead  Mountain People - Super Furry Animals  The Saints - Helloween  Enchanting Ghost - Sufjan Stevens  Gomper - Rolling Stones  Gomper - The Rolling Stones  The No No Song - Hoyt Axton  No No Song - Hoyt Axton  Jeremiah Peabody's Poly-Unsaturated Quick-Dissolvi...  Big Round Nose - Sesame Street  Cadence - Anberlin  Fames - Rishloo  Every Time - Jessica Andrews  Every Time - The Radio Dept.  Every Time - Hoku  Every Time - United Female Sounds Of R&B  Every Time - Münchener Freiheit  Every Time - The Woods Band  Every Time - Hillsong United  Every Time - Hawk Nelson  Every Time - Candice Alley  Every Time - Chayanne  Every Time - Pam Tillis  Every Time - Cece Winans  Every Time - JoJo  Every Time - Karim Nour  Every Time - Amerie  Every Time - Andrews Jessica  Every Time - La Ley  Every Time - T-Bone Walker  Every Time - IMx  Every Time - Pennywise  Every Time - Too $hort  Every Time - David Davidson  Every Time - Oi Va Voi  Every Time - Janet Jackson  Every Time - Marilyn Manson  Every Time - Radio Dept  Every Time - Hancock Wayne  Every Time - Miss Montreal  The No-No Song - Ringo Starr  No No Song - Ringo Starr  No Song - Ringo Starr  No No Song\/Skokiaan - Ringo Starr  What The Fuck? - Pink Nasty  R.J.R. - Only Crime  Let There Be Love - Sammy Davis Jr.  Let There Be Love [DVD] - Laura Fygi  Muted Colors - American Wolf  Rare New Disease - Lauren Hoffman  Babe - Glassjaw  Caught A Lite Sneeze (Unedited Version)...  My Poor Lover - Empires  Jersey Dave - The LLC  Te Amo Tanto - Arizona  Every Time You Go - KSM  Every Time You Cry - John Farnham  Every Time You Run - Manafest  Every Time You Leave - Joel Plaskett  Every Time You Cry - Curtis Stigers  Every time you fall - Nomy  Every Time You Leave - Emmylou Harris  Every Time You Go - Hoodie Allen  Every Time You Sleep - Deacon Blue and Ricky Ross  Every Time You Lie - Demi Lovato  Every Time You Go - 3 Doors Down  Every Time You Go - Ellie Goulding   Every Time You Sleep - Deacon Blue  Every Time You Go - Devlins, The  Every Time You Go - Devlins  Every time you go - Cloudberry Jam   Every Time You Cry - Farnham John  Retaliation - A Canorous Quintet  Let There Be Love - Chris Botti  Marmalade - Chris Dye  Drowntide - Grinch  Pills - Allan Sherman  Whatever Became of Hubert? - Tom Lehrer  Jack Of All Trades - Hot Water Music  Church Bells - Gungor  Over the Hills - The Tallest Man on Earth  Untitled - Bauhaus  The Girl of My Dreams - Reclinerland  Back in the Ground - Look Left  Allergic To Love - Charli XCX  The Hanging Garden (Studio Demo) - The Cure  Sikorsky Parts - Joe Strummer  Keep up the Swelling - Kervin  Where Hides Sleep - Alison Moyet  Let There Be Love - Natalie Cole  That's The Point - Charlie Peacock  Only A Matter Of Time - Dream Theater  Escape - Apparat  Help Me [Locodice Dub] - Timo Maas  Aching To Sneeze - Crash Test Dummies  No Shame - Jakalope  Flesh - David Gray  Lifeless - Shadows Fall  Adios Lounge - Tom Waits  Swank Country Gentlemen - Stickshift Rocketship  Enemy Minds - Souls Of Mischief  Divide the Armies - Bleeding Through  Bricks - Dave Hause  We Are All Slaves - The Sin Decay  Place Position - Fugazi  Trial of Bloodletting - Deivos  Personal Hygiene - Wreckless Eric  Turn - Bob Evans  Aeolian Death Song - Benoît Pioulard  The March - Aceyalone  The March - Aceyalone  Submission - Action  Desensitized - (sic)monic  A Song To Stifle Imperial Progression - Used  A Song To Stifle Imperial Progression - The Used  Hitting the Road - Bear and Porch  Lemonade & Tequila - Naledge  As Long as I Live - Lena Horne  As Long as I Live - Count Basie  As Long as I Live - Ernestine Anderson  As Long as I Live - June Christy  As Long as I Live - Benny Goodman  As Long as I Live [*] - Goodman Group  As Long as I Live - Charlie Christian  As Long as I Live - Peggy Lee  As Long as I Live, song - Jack Teagarden  As Long as I Live - Benny Goodman & His Orchestra  As Long as I Live - Mark Murphy  As Long as I Live - Pearl Bailey  As Long as I Live - Jack Teagarden  As Long as I Live [Second Take]...  As Long As I Live - Harold Arlen  As Long As I Live - Ella Fitzgerald  As Long as I Live - Benny Goodman Sextet  As Long as I Live - Tex Ritter  As Long as I Live [take 1][Alternate Take]...  When I Failed - American Head Charge  Dad Threw Up On Christmas Day - Arrogant Worms  Look of Love, The - Frank Sinatra  Let Me Be Your Armor - Assemblage 23  Virtues Asunder - Able Tasmans  Doctor X - Yyrkoon  Libertine - King  Every Other Time - Bob Ricci
  Please consider supporting this site by Clicking Here and Bookmarking whenever you search and shop Amazon. It costs you nothing but it supports us and gives us credit and we appreciate it greatly.