Now a joke is a joke and funny games are chillBut this isn't funny y'all this is straight up illNow there's a limit to humor and this is goin too farI ain't laughin no more y'all now who stole my carNow I don't know if you ever had a car stolen beforeBut it's a real crazy feeling when you walk out the doorAnd you don't need a map or any kinda chartTo know you're standin in the spot your car used to be parkedNow you know you parked your car there but yet you keep lookinCause your mind didn't accept yet that somebody took itSo you're scratching your head and tryin to get things clearAnd it's always some idiot saying (you're sure you parked here)To call the police would be the move that is smartBut instead you keep lookin where you know you didn't parkSearchin for reasons like maybe tickets you owedSomething to justify that - maybe it got towedBut not stolen n-never forget itBut then you ask yourself well where the hell is itIf there was a prize you'd win dummy of the yearCause you're lookin somewhere else when you know you parked it hereSo through never-neverland you find yourself strollinThen when you finally accept that it's stolenYou call the police and they come and say(That's the 437th car stolen today)As if that's somethin that he really needed to mentionThen they start askin you real dumb questionsLike (well when's the last time that you saw it)You idiot, right before they stole itNow you're mad this cop is talkin to youAnd somebody in your car headed to kalamazooOfficer Fool or whoever you areWould you please get off your butt and find who stole my car?I remember my first car, never forget itA candy apple red I ROC, windows deep tintedTalk about fast like a rocket to driveWent from zero to 60 in like 5.5Imagine red rims but that wasn't enoughIt had a car phone for when I wanted to reach out and touchAn alpine stereo the straight up rockWith 12 woofers you could hear for blocksThe first day I got it I was frontin real hardI could hear people sayin (damn, look at that car)I was hyped and I wanted my friends to check it outSo I went to the spot where they're usually hangin outJust my luck nobody's standin outsideAnd I didn't really feel like parkin my rideSo I honked my horn and nobody was cominI thougth what the heck, I went inside and left it runninI was inside for 20 seconds that's allI found my friends, I said, You gotta check this out, y'allBut when we came back out the car wasn't there(Man you ain't buy nothin) I did, I swear!My friends went inside, I was mad they didn't believe meNow i'm standin outside the spot my car used to beIt's hard to figure out what to do all aloneBut then I got it: call the car phone(Fresh Prince's car?)Yo thief, bring my car back nowBefore I bust your (hold up wait a minute pal)(Seems like you forgot who's got the keys)I thought: he's right, Well, bring it back, pleaseHello Mr. Thief, don't hang upAw then luckily Jeff pulled upI told him what had happened someone stole my carI said, Come on Jeff, let's get him, he can't be farWe rode around for about 20 minutesAnd we were just about to say forget itWhen I spotted him, I said, Jeff, go get it!We pulled up behind him and man dude jettedHe was drivin all wild and fastLike he was gettin points for the stuff that he crashedI called him on the car phone again and I saidOf course you realize when I catch you you're deadAll through Philly was a high speed chase andDude was playin around like he thought we was racin100 miles an hour and he lost controlAnd slammed my car into a telephone poleI ran to the car said man you're okayHe said yeah so I punched him in the faceThe cops came up as if it was my faultThey saw me punch dude and charged me with assaultIf his neck was closer I probably woulda grabbed itHe told the cops that I said he could have itI calmed down and they got things straightI saw half my car at 7th street the other half at 8thI wanted to just jump in the oceanMy car looked like it was a Lego explosionWhy does life have to be so hard?Don't laugh, next time it could be your car
Lyrics by DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince
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