The Parable Of Glenn McGrath's Haircut
TISM
My mate Roger got a girl pregnant when he was fourteen. He was so shitscared he told me, and when he saidthat her dad was a cop I thought he was joking. I told him he's got totell someone, and so he went and told a teacher, and the girl eventuallygot an abortion. He was fucking shitting himself, let me tell you, butsix months later he was fucking around like always.Ooh, aahh, Glenn McGrathYou betta watch it I thought to myself. But Roger was pretty fuckingsure of himself. He was the guy who first brought a block of hash to aparty. Because I was his friend I was there when he first showed it topeople, and we all went down the backyard and he rolled a joint. Wheredid he get it from? My parents would have killed me if they knew. Ithought we'd all turn into junkies or something if we had too much.The last time I saw Roger was last year at the Boxing Day test. He'dturned into such a fat, normal, yobbo cunt. The wife nearly didn't letme out today he said, and he did all that chanting yobs do, like Ooh,Aahh, Glenn McGrath. It got you in the end I thought to myself, as Ilooked at Roger. Life got you in the end, pal. You were such a cocky,successful winner when we were 16, but now you're just another sad fatprick sitting in the M.C.G high-fiving in self-congratulation, as if itsyou that had the skill and determination to play for Australia. Itsthe cunts with the bad haircuts that you've got to watch out for.There's never been a popular teenager yet who's done rat's with theirlife. Its the fucking dorks that give it a real go. Glenn McGrath got5 for 50 that day.
Lyrics by TISM
(He'll Never Be An) Ol' Man River (I Think I’ve Got) Mick Jagger Worked Out (There's Gonna Be) Sex Tonite 40 Years - Then Death A Face Full Of Divertamenti Abscess Makes The Heart Grow Fonder All Homeboys Are Dickheads All Ordinaries Index Anarchy Means Crossing When It Says 'Don't Walk' Aussiemandias Babies Bite Back Bash This Up Your Ginger Been Caught Wankin' BFW Bishop = Handjob Boot Party Channel Turd Choose Bad Smack Come Back DJ, Your Record Is Scratched Dazed And Confucious Death Death Death Death Death Death (Live at the Old Greek Theatre) Defecate On My Face Defecate On My Face (Country Version) Defecate On My Face (MGF Remix) Denial Works For Me Dicktatorship Doug Parkinson Sings Christie Allen Dumb 'N' Base Eckermann Is Very Silly Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me Existentialtism Ezra Pound, Axe-King Father And Son Five Yards Fourteen Years In Rowville Fuck ’Em Fuck ’Em - The Lot Of â€... Garbage Gas! Gas! - An Ecstasy Of Fumbling Get Thee In My Behind, Satan Get Thee To A Nunnery Gimme Gimme Nervous Breakdown Give Up For Australia Great Expectorations Greg! The Stop Sign!! Honk If You Love Fred Durst I Don't Want TISM, I Want A Girlfriend I Drive A Truck I Shit Me I'll 'Ave Ya I'm Interested In Apathy I’m Gonna Sit Right Down And Whittle Away M... I’m Into Led Zep If You Ever Hear His Name, Harden Not Your Arterie... If You're Creative, Get Stuffed If You're Not Famous At Fourteen, You're Finished If You’re Ugly, Forget It Jack Elliot's Turf Whinge Johnny To B. Or Not To B. Goode Julius Seizure (Act III Scene II Verses 73-118) Jung Talent Time Kate - Fischer Of Men Kevin Borich Expressionism Part 1 Kevin Borich Expressionism Part 2 Kevin Borich Expressionism Part 4 Kill Americans Kill Yourself Now And Avoid The Rush Ladies And Gentlemen - The Judeo-Christian Ethic Leo’s Toltoy Let's Form A Company Let’s Club It To Death Life Kills Lillee Caught Dilley Bowled Milli Vanilli Lose Your Delusion I Lose Your Delusion II Loser, Losing, Lost Martin Scorsese Is Really Quite A Jovial Fellow Michael Jackson’s Conveyor Belt Mistah Eliot - He Wanker Morrison Hostel Mourningtown Ride Mr. Ches Baragwanath, State Auditor-General My Brilliant Huntington's Chorea My Generation Neighbours - Everybody Loves Good Neighbours Never Mind The Bollocks, Here’s The House O... Opposite Day Play Mistral For Me Professor Derrida Deconstructs Pus Pus Of The Dead Rebel Without A Paunch Recorded By JJJ, 24/1/93, Melbourne Showgrounds Root Saturday Night Palsy Schoolies Week Strictly Loungeroom Take Your Love Ten Points For A Razor Scooter The Back Upon Which Jezza Jumped The Ballad Of John Bonham's Coke Roadie The Ballad Of The Semitic Nazi The Fosters Car Park Boogie The Last Australian Guitar Hero The Men's Room The Mordialloc Rd. Duplicator The Mystery Of The Artist Explained The Only Thing Stopping Me From Being Happy Is Tha... The TISM Boat Hire Offer The TISM Nightsoil Cart And Horse Blues There’s More Men In Children Than Wisdom Kn... Thou Shalt Not Britney Spear Thunderbirds Are Coming Out Volare We Are The Champignons Whatareya? While My Catarrh Gently Weeps Whinge Rock Would The Last Person To Leave Please Turn Out The... X-Treme Sports Can Kiss My Arse Yob