The Only Thing Stopping Me From Being Happy Is That I’m Not More Depressed
TISM
I been listenin' to silverchair, now I wish I was a freak;Been readin' The River Ophelia - I'd love a masochistic streak;But I am just a normal guy - I even use capital S -Why, I'd rather tell the papers that I secretly cross-dress;Women Who Run With Men Who Hate Wolves just left me unimpressed -I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.To get anywhere these days it seems a problem's a necessity;Your father's gay; heroin's passe - just another fashion accessory;I tried Recovered Memory, but that put me in a bindCos I became hypnotically aware my Dad was really kind.You might have once been traumatized, but we're not all similarly blessed -I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.I went along to the Men's Movement - Stop crying, girl, they'd shout;Steve Biddulph, who wrote that Manhood book, got up and punched my lights out;I went along to the women's room, but all I did was get it wrong -I told 'em Smack Your Bitch Up was my current favorite song;But the Prodigy are so confronting, I tried vainly to protest:I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.I lied to the Gambling Help Line, said I'd made my family poor -When I asked what chance recovery, they offered me nine to four;I rang that Alan Jones guy up, but he couldn't help me either:You a battler or a bludger? he said - it turns out, I was neither!Come back when you're a stereotype if you wanna be in the press.I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.Finally I told the wife the reason I'd been so undemanding,And what was worse, she took it well, and was totally understanding;Those self-destructing relationships are simply too much fuss:Whose Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Well, I gotta say, not us -Would you believe I like my kids? Can you get more mentally messed?I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.Why is it just so hard for me to take things way too far?I'd like to travel beyond good and evil, but first I gotta wash the car;I'd like to get a nipple ring and connect it to my dodger,But somehow it just don't suit a bloke whose name is plain old Roger-I'd be a member of the underclass, but they'd laugh at how I dressed:I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.So it looks like I got to give up my dream of joining the Bad Seeds -Those guys can't handle confronting concepts, like thanks and pleaseSneaking 16 things in the 12 Items Only aisle will be my biggest sin;It's the shopping center of modern consciousness that I will stay trapped in -I buy my junk from off the streets - I find The Trading Post's the best:I'm sure that I'd be happier if I could be more depressed.I just know I can't be creative. Why? I'm not depressed enough -Yet I wish I was the guy who wrote: If you're creative - get stuffed.There's a competition going to have the most painful lives,But the pain you feel from nine to five I guess don't qualify.Your life might be miserable, but that don't stop your art from being crappier:I'm sure that I would be more depressed if I wasn't happier.
Lyrics by TISM
(He'll Never Be An) Ol' Man River (I Think I’ve Got) Mick Jagger Worked Out (There's Gonna Be) Sex Tonite 40 Years - Then Death A Face Full Of Divertamenti Abscess Makes The Heart Grow Fonder All Homeboys Are Dickheads All Ordinaries Index Anarchy Means Crossing When It Says 'Don't Walk' Aussiemandias Babies Bite Back Bash This Up Your Ginger Been Caught Wankin' BFW Bishop = Handjob Boot Party Channel Turd Choose Bad Smack Come Back DJ, Your Record Is Scratched Dazed And Confucious Death Death Death Death Death Death (Live at the Old Greek Theatre) Defecate On My Face Defecate On My Face (Country Version) Defecate On My Face (MGF Remix) Denial Works For Me Dicktatorship Doug Parkinson Sings Christie Allen Dumb 'N' Base Eckermann Is Very Silly Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me Existentialtism Ezra Pound, Axe-King Father And Son Five Yards Fourteen Years In Rowville Fuck ’Em Fuck ’Em - The Lot Of â€... Garbage Gas! Gas! - An Ecstasy Of Fumbling Get Thee In My Behind, Satan Get Thee To A Nunnery Gimme Gimme Nervous Breakdown Give Up For Australia Great Expectorations Greg! The Stop Sign!! Honk If You Love Fred Durst I Don't Want TISM, I Want A Girlfriend I Drive A Truck I Shit Me I'll 'Ave Ya I'm Interested In Apathy I’m Gonna Sit Right Down And Whittle Away M... I’m Into Led Zep If You Ever Hear His Name, Harden Not Your Arterie... If You're Creative, Get Stuffed If You're Not Famous At Fourteen, You're Finished If You’re Ugly, Forget It Jack Elliot's Turf Whinge Johnny To B. Or Not To B. Goode Julius Seizure (Act III Scene II Verses 73-118) Jung Talent Time Kate - Fischer Of Men Kevin Borich Expressionism Part 1 Kevin Borich Expressionism Part 2 Kevin Borich Expressionism Part 4 Kill Americans Kill Yourself Now And Avoid The Rush Ladies And Gentlemen - The Judeo-Christian Ethic Leo’s Toltoy Let's Form A Company Let’s Club It To Death Life Kills Lillee Caught Dilley Bowled Milli Vanilli Lose Your Delusion I Lose Your Delusion II Loser, Losing, Lost Martin Scorsese Is Really Quite A Jovial Fellow Michael Jackson’s Conveyor Belt Mistah Eliot - He Wanker Morrison Hostel Mourningtown Ride Mr. Ches Baragwanath, State Auditor-General My Brilliant Huntington's Chorea My Generation Neighbours - Everybody Loves Good Neighbours Never Mind The Bollocks, Here’s The House O... Opposite Day Play Mistral For Me Professor Derrida Deconstructs Pus Pus Of The Dead Rebel Without A Paunch Recorded By JJJ, 24/1/93, Melbourne Showgrounds Root Saturday Night Palsy Schoolies Week Strictly Loungeroom Take Your Love Ten Points For A Razor Scooter The Back Upon Which Jezza Jumped The Ballad Of John Bonham's Coke Roadie The Ballad Of The Semitic Nazi The Fosters Car Park Boogie The Last Australian Guitar Hero The Men's Room The Mordialloc Rd. Duplicator The Mystery Of The Artist Explained The Parable Of Glenn McGrath's Haircut The TISM Boat Hire Offer The TISM Nightsoil Cart And Horse Blues There’s More Men In Children Than Wisdom Kn... Thou Shalt Not Britney Spear Thunderbirds Are Coming Out Volare We Are The Champignons Whatareya? While My Catarrh Gently Weeps Whinge Rock Would The Last Person To Leave Please Turn Out The... X-Treme Sports Can Kiss My Arse Yob