The Last Australian Guitar Hero
TISM
in a tiny inner-city pub, the amps were being stackedleads were getting wound up, it was full of pissed anzacsgot no more gigs for tuesday nights, said the barman to the starwe're putting pokies in the lounge and strippers in the barthe star, he raised his fingers and said, fuck this fuckin holebut to his faithful roadie he says, it's the death of rock and rollthere ain't a single place that's left to play amplified guitarevery place is serving long blacks and become a become a tapist barhis dirty denim jacket was gaffered and turning blackhair was missing on his forehead but it reached right down his backi don't blame that barman bastard he told his roadie, hey, fuck noi blame all those faggot wankers, who are playing this technobrothers couldn't work it out, get fucked, they can kiss my rotten asswork out what happened to real music, is what i'd like to askeverything is all machine, run with middy and lay dash,but all they do is go ping ping ping like a truck that's backing backwho the fuck are the chemical brothers, that they now call the shotsgoldies the name of the light beer, elastica holds up socksthe roadies sat there silent next to the ejaculating starwhat's the fucken point of drum and bass, if no one can play guitar?CHORUSaussie, (aussie guitar)aussie, (aussie guitar)have you seen those fucken clubbers, with their peroxided dreds?dressed up in fucking adidas, like fucking fucked fuckheadsi wouldn't drop a tab of E, if you fuckin paid me mani got the guts for LSD, and the only jungle i know is manthese roadies sat still silent, but then he finally began to speakactually star, i maybe shoulda told you this last weekbut i scored a job as DJ at the latest techno clubi'm sick of working with a loser, see ya later bobwell the roadie owned the PA and the roadie owned the ute,the roadie told star to get out or he'd bash one up his shootand there on that cold freeway, star walked along aloneof course he got kicked out halfway between emergency telephonesCHORUSaussieaussie, (aussie guitar)aussie, (aussie guitar)aussie, (aussie guitar)aussie, (aussie guitar)aussie, (what a man, what a man, what a man)fuck ya's all, said star aloud in the emergency stopping laneto quote from that chick juliet, hey what's in her name?a good song's just a good song, just the same as long agobut dressing up as something new and suddenly you're picassoevery white bald pommy cunt, thinks that you're so hipread MNE from ten years ago and there's all the same dickslipprodigy are just the band who are getting it just this yearrolling stones got no more cred. than fucken new ideastars anguish voice rolls in grief as he cryed unto the moonin the end when all is said and done, a tune's just a fucking tunestar played his amp far too loud, his hearing was sorta goneso he never heard the grinding squeal as the truckie put the brakes on26 road train wheels, played a tune upon his headhe just wondered into the traffic, the distraught driver saidthe cops had seen it all before, the ambels washed the freeway cleanthere ain't no contest when you put a man against a machineaussieaussie (aussie guitar)aussie (aussie guitar)aussie (what a man, what a man, what a man)aussieaussieaussie, (aussie guitar)aussie,aussie,aussie, (it's a man against machine)
Lyrics by TISM
(He'll Never Be An) Ol' Man River (I Think I’ve Got) Mick Jagger Worked Out (There's Gonna Be) Sex Tonite 40 Years - Then Death A Face Full Of Divertamenti Abscess Makes The Heart Grow Fonder All Homeboys Are Dickheads All Ordinaries Index Anarchy Means Crossing When It Says 'Don't Walk' Aussiemandias Babies Bite Back Bash This Up Your Ginger Been Caught Wankin' BFW Bishop = Handjob Boot Party Channel Turd Choose Bad Smack Come Back DJ, Your Record Is Scratched Dazed And Confucious Death Death Death Death Death Death (Live at the Old Greek Theatre) Defecate On My Face Defecate On My Face (Country Version) Defecate On My Face (MGF Remix) Denial Works For Me Dicktatorship Doug Parkinson Sings Christie Allen Dumb 'N' Base Eckermann Is Very Silly Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me Existentialtism Ezra Pound, Axe-King Father And Son Five Yards Fourteen Years In Rowville Fuck ’Em Fuck ’Em - The Lot Of â€... Garbage Gas! Gas! - An Ecstasy Of Fumbling Get Thee In My Behind, Satan Get Thee To A Nunnery Gimme Gimme Nervous Breakdown Give Up For Australia Great Expectorations Greg! The Stop Sign!! Honk If You Love Fred Durst I Don't Want TISM, I Want A Girlfriend I Drive A Truck I Shit Me I'll 'Ave Ya I'm Interested In Apathy I’m Gonna Sit Right Down And Whittle Away M... I’m Into Led Zep If You Ever Hear His Name, Harden Not Your Arterie... If You're Creative, Get Stuffed If You're Not Famous At Fourteen, You're Finished If You’re Ugly, Forget It Jack Elliot's Turf Whinge Johnny To B. Or Not To B. Goode Julius Seizure (Act III Scene II Verses 73-118) Jung Talent Time Kate - Fischer Of Men Kevin Borich Expressionism Part 1 Kevin Borich Expressionism Part 2 Kevin Borich Expressionism Part 4 Kill Americans Kill Yourself Now And Avoid The Rush Ladies And Gentlemen - The Judeo-Christian Ethic Leo’s Toltoy Let's Form A Company Let’s Club It To Death Life Kills Lillee Caught Dilley Bowled Milli Vanilli Lose Your Delusion I Lose Your Delusion II Loser, Losing, Lost Martin Scorsese Is Really Quite A Jovial Fellow Michael Jackson’s Conveyor Belt Mistah Eliot - He Wanker Morrison Hostel Mourningtown Ride Mr. Ches Baragwanath, State Auditor-General My Brilliant Huntington's Chorea My Generation Neighbours - Everybody Loves Good Neighbours Never Mind The Bollocks, Here’s The House O... Opposite Day Play Mistral For Me Professor Derrida Deconstructs Pus Pus Of The Dead Rebel Without A Paunch Recorded By JJJ, 24/1/93, Melbourne Showgrounds Root Saturday Night Palsy Schoolies Week Strictly Loungeroom Take Your Love Ten Points For A Razor Scooter The Back Upon Which Jezza Jumped The Ballad Of John Bonham's Coke Roadie The Ballad Of The Semitic Nazi The Fosters Car Park Boogie The Men's Room The Mordialloc Rd. Duplicator The Mystery Of The Artist Explained The Only Thing Stopping Me From Being Happy Is Tha... The Parable Of Glenn McGrath's Haircut The TISM Boat Hire Offer The TISM Nightsoil Cart And Horse Blues There’s More Men In Children Than Wisdom Kn... Thou Shalt Not Britney Spear Thunderbirds Are Coming Out Volare We Are The Champignons Whatareya? While My Catarrh Gently Weeps Whinge Rock Would The Last Person To Leave Please Turn Out The... X-Treme Sports Can Kiss My Arse Yob
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