Ten-Foot Cock and a Few Hundred Virgins
Tim Minchin

So you're gonna live in Paradise, nWith a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins.nSo you're gonna live in Paradise,nWith a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins,nSo you're gonna sacrifice your lifenFor a ride on a UFO,nAnd when the Lord comes down with his shimmering chariot of salvation,nYou're gonna be the first to know.nnAnd so if...nGod was there from the very beginningnHe invented men and women,nThen He also invented wanking, nThen He said wanking was sinning.nSo if I'm feeling randynI'm not allowed to hand-shandy,nBut having sex with my family,nThat is just fucking great.nIt's all there in Ezekial 8,nJust before He opens up His big pearly gate,nAnd says that it's a sinnTo take it up the date,nEven if it's great,nEven with your cowboy mate.nnSo you're gonna live in Paradise,nWith a ten-foot cock and few hundred virgins,nSo you're gonna sacrifice your lifenFor a shot at the greener grass,nAnd when the Lord comes downnWith his shining rod of judgement,nHe's gonna kick my heathen arse.nnSo if you...nCover the bodies of your womennEverybody is grinning,nBecause black is so slimming,nThough it's not great for swimming.nBut it gives you an erection,nWith the increased sexual tension,nWhat with the U.V. protectionnThat is second to none.nYou'll find it all in the QurannJust next to the bit that justifies guns,nAnd says that it's a sinnTo take it up the bum, nEven if it's fun,nEven with permission from your mum.nnSo you're gonna live in ParadisenWith a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins,nSo you're gonna sacrifice your lifenFor a shot at eternity,nAnd when the Lord comes downnAnd I haven't done my penance,nHe's gonna disembowel me.nnYou say that...nIf I...nStumbled on a watch I'd assume it had a watchmaker,nThat a muffin presupposes a baker,nSo you must agree sooner or later, nThat this proves that there's a creator.nSo if I put my foot in a stinker,nYou'd assume the existence of a sphincter,nThus you don't need to be a great thinkernTo coclude that God's a bum,nWhich negates the words of Genesis 1nWhich made Him out to be so much fun,nUntil Adam succumbednTo temptation,nAnd then His only sonnGot nailed to a gum,nOr the Middle-Eastern equivalent,nWhich suggests that God's omnisciencenIs nullified by His ambivilance,nUnless it turns out that He's impotent,nAnd if God can't get a boner,nI guess that explains the plethoranOf huge erections in His honour -nBecause we all know a steeple's just a subconscious compensatory manifestation of a huge stiff penis -nStill He tells us that it's heinousnTo stick a penis up your anus,nEven if you're famous,nEven if you're good at tennis.nnSo you're gonna live in ParadisenWitha ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins,nSo you're gonna sacrifice your lifenFor a ride on a UFO,nAnd when the Lord comes downwith his big stiff slippery, rod of justice,nI'm gonna be the first to go, nHe's gonna send me down below,nHe's gonna whip me like a ho,nYou really think so,nI'm gonna be the first to go.n

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Lyrics by Tim Minchin

5 poofs and 2 pianos Angry Beauty Canvas Bags Cheese Come Home (Cardinal Pell) Confessions - in three movements Cont Dark Side Donnie Darko Song Drowned Eighteen Yr Old Lesbian F Sharp Fat Children Greed (Balsa Wood & Glue) Hello I'm In A Cage I'm In A Cage If I Didn't Have You If I Didn't Have You If I Didnt Have You If You Open Your Mind Too Much, Your Brain Will Fa... If You Open Your Mind Too Much, Your Brains Will F... If You Really Loved Me Inflatable You Loud Lullaby Mitsubishi Colt Not Perfect Nothing Can Stop Us Now Peace Anthem For Palestine Perineum Millenium - The In Between Years Phil Daoust song Prejudice Rock 'n' Roll Nerd Rock 'n' Roll Nerd Rock n Roll Nerd Second Encore Seeing You So F**king Rock Some People Have It Worse Than Me Storm Thank You God The Adam Hillsong The Fence The Good Book The Hammer The Pope Song The Song For Phil Daoust White Wine In The Sun You Grew On Me YouTube lament

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