The Hammer
Tim Minchin

Look at these trophies
See how my trophies gleam in the sunlight
See how they shine
What do you think it took to become English Hammer throwing champion 1969?
Do you think in that moment when my big moment came
That I treated the rules
With casual disdain?
Well? Like hell!

As I stepped up to the circle did I change my plan? Hmm what?
As I chalked up my palms did I wave my hands? I did not!
As I started my spin did I look at the view? Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two?
Do you think I faltered or amended my rotation?
Do you think I altered my intended elevation?
As the hammer took off did I change my grunt?
From the grunt I had practiced for many a month
Not a jot, not a dot did I stray from the plot
Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten
Not even when the hammer left my hands and sailed up, up above the stands
did I let myself go? No no no no no no no no no no no no no no

If you want to throw the hammer for your country
You have to stay inside the circle all the time
And if you want to make the team you don't need happiness or self-esteem
You just need to keep your feet inside the line

Sing children 2,3,4
If you want to throw the hammer for your country
You have to stay inside the circle all the time
And if you want to teach success you don’t use sympathy or tenderness
You have to force the little squits to toe the line

Sing Jenny 2,3,4
If you want to throw the hammer for your country
You have to stay inside the circle all the time
Apply just one simple rule:
To hammer throwing life and school
Life's a ball so learn to throw it
Find the bally line and toe it
And always keep your feet inside the line

Now get out!

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Lyrics by Tim Minchin

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