Sherlock Holmes vs. Batman
Epic Rap Battles of History

Batman:
Nice hat, dork, you look like a duck
I had Alfred read your books, he told me they suck
I’ll crush your British nuts until they’re bangers and mash
I’ve seen better detective work in Tango & Cash
You chump, I kick punks like you off the streets
While you and Velma here are solving Scooby Doo mysteries
Nothing makes me laugh, but I bet your raps can
So bring it on, bitch, I’m Batman!

Sherlock Holmes:
I once met a rich fellow who smelled of guano and pain

Dr. Watson:
Holmes explain

Sherlock Holmes:
I deduce this douce stain as Bruce Wayne

Dr. Watson:
The billionaire?

Sherlock Holmes:
Yes, his wealth would allow this adversary of hours
To afford the toys his needs

Dr. Watson:
Since he has no superpowers!

Sherlock Holmes:
You want to battle, bat? Bring it then

Dr. Watson:
I heard he has a British butler

Sherlock Holmes:
Good! Then he’ll be used to getting served by Englishmen!
You’re a wack vigilante black pantied spud with no skill
My sidekick’s a doctor

Dr. Watson:
Because his flows are so ill!

Batman:
Shut up, nerds, I serve justice, so eat it
My sidekick only comes around

Robin:
When he’s needed!
Boy wonder make you wonder how your ass got killed
Bite harder than those hounds down in Baskerville
I’ll bust you with that bat-whack-rap repellant
Rappel a building,snatch a villain then by dinner be chilling
Gotta secret about your homegirl Irene Adler
Took her back to my nest, to bam pow kersplat her
I’ll shatter that fiddle with a chop of the hand!
Holy Conan Doyle, let’s get ‘em! Aw god damn!

Batman:
You’re not smart, you’re selfish, you endanger everyone’s life
Why don’t you let your boyfriend here go home to his wife?
Nobody likes you, not your brother, not your partner, not Scotland Yard!
You’ll die alone with no friends except that needle in your arm!

Sherlock:
This mustn’t register on an emotional level…
First, exploit childhood tragedy…then gesture with pipe…
Watson finishes punchline…next, acknowledge compliment
Conclude with killer catchphrase….
I believe your parent’s homicide is why you mask your face
You’re shamed and traumatized and haunted by the vast disgrace
Of watching like a passive waste as momma died and daddy was dispatched with haste!

Dr. Watson:
Holmes, you’ve cracked the case!

Sherlock Holmes:
You’re a bat shit crazy basket case!

Dr. Watson:
Bloody good rhymes!

Sherlock Holmes:
I’ve got tonnes!
Dissing these dynamic douchebags was elementary, my dear Watson


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Lyrics by Epic Rap Battles of History

  Abe Lincoln vs Chuck Norris   Abe Lincoln vs. Chuck Norris   Adam vs Eve   Adolf Hitler vs. Darth Vader   Albert Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking   Alexander the Great vs Ivan the Terrible   Artists vs TMNT   Babe Ruth vs Lance Armstrong   Barack Obama vs Mitt Romney   Batman vs Sherlock Holmes   Ben Franklin vs. Billy Mays   Blackbeard vs. Al Capone   Bob Ross vs Pablo Picasso   Bruce Lee vs Clint Eastwood   Cleopatra VS Marilyn Monroe   Cleopatra vs. Marilyn Monroe   Darth Vader vs Hitler   DeadPool vs. Boba Fett   Doc Brown vs Doctor Who   Donald Trump vs. Ebeneezer Scrooge   Donald Trump Vs. Hillary Clinton   Dr Seuss vs Shakespeare   Easter Bunny vs. Genghis Khan   Einstein vs Stephen Hawking   Frank Sinatra vs Freddie Mercury   Gandalf vs Dumbledore   Gandalf vs. Dumbledore   Gandhi vs Martin Luther King Jr   Ghostbusters vs Mythbusters   Gordon Ramsay vs Julia Child   Hitler vs Vader 3   Hitler vs. Vader 2   Hulk Hogan and Macho Man VS Kim Jong-il   J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin   Jack the Ripper vs Hannibal Lecter.   James Bond vs Austin Powers   John Lennon vs Bill O'Reilly   Justin Bieber vs Beethoven   Justin Bieber vs. Ludwig Van Beethoven   Kim Jong-il vs. Hulk Hogan and Macho Man Randy Sav...   Mario Bros vs Wright Bros   Mario Bros vs. Wright Bros.   Master Chief vs Leonidas   Master Chief vs. Leonidas   Michael Jackson VS Elvis Presley   Michael Jackson vs. Elvis Presley   Michael Jordan vs. Muhammad Ali   Miley Cyrus vs. Joan of Arc   Moses vs Santa Claus   Mozart vs Skrillex   Mr T vs Mr Rogers   Mr. T vs. Mr. Rogers   Napoleon Dynamite vs. Napoleon Bonaparte   Nice Peter vs EpicLLOYD   Nikola Tesla vs Thomas Edison   Rasputin vs Stalin   Robocop vs The Terminator   Sarah Palin vs Lady Gaga   Shaka Zulu vs Julius Caesar   Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates

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