Grandma got run over by a reindeer.Walking home from our house Christmas eve.You can say there's no such thing as Santa,But as for me and grandpa we believe.She'd been drinking too much eggnog,And we begged her not to go.But she forgot her medication, and sheStaggered out the door into the snow.When we found her Christmas morning,At the scene of the attack,She had hoof-prints on her forehead,And incriminating Claus marks on her back.Now we're all so proud of grandpa,He's been taking this so well.See him in there watching football,Drinking root beer andPlaying cards with Cousin Mel.It's not Christmas without Grandma,All the family's dressed in blackAnd we just can't help but wonder:Should we open up her gifts,Or send them back?Send them back!!Now the goose is on the tableAnd the pudding made of figAnd the blue and silver candlesThat would just have matchedThe hair on grandma's wig.I've warned all myFriends and neighborsBetter watch out for yourselves,They should never give a licenseTo a man who drives a sleighAnd plays with elves.
Lyrics by Elmo And Patsy Shropshire
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