Dick Turpin
Horrible Histories

Everyone thinks they know the story
Of Dick Turpin's highway glory
But my past is far more gory
Was no saint.

You think life is one big antic
My profession is romantic
Hate to be pedantic
But it ain't!

As a butcher down in Essex
I was handy with a knife
Had a sideline as a poacher
Led a less than honest life.

The notorious gang of Gregory
Liked my style and dedication
They signed me up and gave me
A real robber's education.

We rampaged through the Essex farms
We stole and robbed and fought
But when the law came for us
I escaped and they got caught!

I became a highwayman
Was daylight robbery!
I was no Prince Charming
Nothing dandy about me!

The truth is I was violent
And with my good mate Matt King
Robbed travellers at gunpoint
Money, watches, anything!

My horse it wasn't called Black Bess
Although that's what you've read
Was no romantic hero
Shot not one but two men dead!

The legend that surrounds me
Misses out the crucial part
I was a ruthless killer
With a ruthless killer's heart!

Was a vicious highwayman
A source of pain and tears!
When you hear how my story ends
You won't believe your ears!

I ran away to Yorkshire
Changed my name to John Palmer
Was sent to prison after
Stealing chickens from a farmer

Wrote a letter to my family
A plea it did relate
The postman saw the envelope
And here's the twist of fate!

He had taught me how to write
So he knew I'd lied!
That's not John Palmer's hand-
That's Dick Turpin's! he cried!

Was a vicious highwayman
My crimes had brought me fame!
Was stitched up by a postie
That's not glamorous- that's lame!

No more stand and deliver
You'll remember this I hope-
It's no fun hanging with highwaymen
When you're hanging from a rope...


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Lyrics by Horrible Histories

  Australia Song   Aztec Priests   Aztec Priests Song   Ballard of Victoria and Albert   Blackbeard   Blackbeard's Song   Blackbeard's Song   Blue Bloody Blues   Born 2 Rule   Boudicca   British Things   Burke and Hare   Burke And Hare Song   Caveman Love   Celtic Boast Battle   Charles Dickens   Charles II   Charles II- King of Bling   Cleopatra   Cleopatra: I Can't Go On   Cleopatra: I Can't Go On   Dick Turpin Or Stand And Deliver   Divorced, Beheaded, Died   English Civil War   English Kings and Queens   Evil Roman Emperors (Bad)   Flame   George IV Solo   Georgian Make-up   Georgian Make-Up Song   Georgian Navy   God Compare   Henry VII   Hieroglyphics   How to Make a Mummy   I'm A Greek (Parts I And II)   I'm A Knight   I'm Minted   I'm A Greek (Parts I And II)   I'm A Knight   I'm Minted   It's Not True   It's Not True   Joan Of Arc   Kings And Queens (Ruthless Rulers) Song   Literally: The Viking Song   Luddite   Luddite Revolts   Mary Seacole   Mary Seacole Song   Mary Tudor Song   Medieval Plague Song   Napoleon Bonaparte   Natural Selection   Norman Family Tree   Olympic Flame Song   Owain Glyndwr   Pachacuti   Pilgrim Rap   Richard III   Spartan High School Musical   Stone Age Song   Stupid Deaths   Suffragettes   The 4 Georges: Born 2 Rule   The Blue Blooded Blues   The Borgia Family   The Cowboy Song   The Monk Song   The Monks' Song   The Monks' Song   The Mummy Song   The Six Wives of Henry VIII   The Stone Age   The Suffragettes   The Thinkers   The Tudors   The Viking Song   Transportation   Victoria And Albert Love Ballad   Victorian Inventions   Viking Peace   We're History   We're History   William Shakespeare Song   William Wallace   Work, Terrible Work   World War II Girls   World War Two Girls

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