Dick Turpin Or Stand And Deliver
Horrible Histories

Everyone thinks they know the story

Of Dick Turpin's highway glory

But my past was far more gory

Was no saint


You think life is one big antic

My profession is romantic

Hate to be pedantic

But it ain't


HA


As a butcher down in Essex I was handy with a knife

Had a sideline as a poacher led a less than honest life


The notorious gang of Gregory

Liked my style and dedication

They signed me up and gave me

A real robber's education


We rampaged through the Essex farms

We stole and robbed and fought

But when the law came for us

I escaped and they got caught


I became I highway man

Was daylight robbery


HA


I was no prince charming

Nothing dandy about me


HA


The truth is, I was violent

And with my good mate, Matt King

Robbed travelers at gunpoint

Money, watches, anything!


My horse wasn't called Black Bess

Although that's what you've read

Was no romantic hero

Shot not one but two men dead


The legend that surrounds me

Misses out the crucial part

I was a ruthless killer

With a ruthless killer's heart!


Was a vicious highwayman

A source of pain and tears


HA


When you hear how my story ends

You won't believe your ears


HA


I ran away to Yorkshire

Changed my name to John Palmer

Was sent to prison

After stealing chickens from a farmer


Wrote a letter to my family

A plea it did relate

The postman saw the envelope

And here's the twist of fate


He had taught me how to write

So he'd knew I'd lied

that's not John Palmer's hand!

That's Dick Turpin's! he cried!


Was a vicious highway man

My crimes had brought me fame


HA


Was stitched up by a postie

That's not glamorous

THAT'S LAME!


HA


No more stand and deliver

You'll remember this I hope


HA


It's no fun hanging with highwaymen

When you're...


Hanging from a rope!


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Lyrics by Horrible Histories

  Australia Song   Aztec Priests   Aztec Priests Song   Ballard of Victoria and Albert   Blackbeard   Blackbeard's Song   Blackbeard's Song   Blue Bloody Blues   Born 2 Rule   Boudicca   British Things   Burke and Hare   Burke And Hare Song   Caveman Love   Celtic Boast Battle   Charles Dickens   Charles II   Charles II- King of Bling   Cleopatra   Cleopatra: I Can't Go On   Cleopatra: I Can't Go On   Dick Turpin   Divorced, Beheaded, Died   English Civil War   English Kings and Queens   Evil Roman Emperors (Bad)   Flame   George IV Solo   Georgian Make-up   Georgian Make-Up Song   Georgian Navy   God Compare   Henry VII   Hieroglyphics   How to Make a Mummy   I'm A Greek (Parts I And II)   I'm A Knight   I'm Minted   I'm A Greek (Parts I And II)   I'm A Knight   I'm Minted   It's Not True   It's Not True   Joan Of Arc   Kings And Queens (Ruthless Rulers) Song   Literally: The Viking Song   Luddite   Luddite Revolts   Mary Seacole   Mary Seacole Song   Mary Tudor Song   Medieval Plague Song   Napoleon Bonaparte   Natural Selection   Norman Family Tree   Olympic Flame Song   Owain Glyndwr   Pachacuti   Pilgrim Rap   Richard III   Spartan High School Musical   Stone Age Song   Stupid Deaths   Suffragettes   The 4 Georges: Born 2 Rule   The Blue Blooded Blues   The Borgia Family   The Cowboy Song   The Monk Song   The Monks' Song   The Monks' Song   The Mummy Song   The Six Wives of Henry VIII   The Stone Age   The Suffragettes   The Thinkers   The Tudors   The Viking Song   Transportation   Victoria And Albert Love Ballad   Victorian Inventions   Viking Peace   We're History   We're History   William Shakespeare Song   William Wallace   Work, Terrible Work   World War II Girls   World War Two Girls

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