I'm Minted
Horrible Histories

I'm Marcus Licinius Crassus,

No rich man could ever surpass us.

Wanted people to say I was brave,

But I lost my first fight and hid in a cave.

Living there could be a pauper's nightmare,

But if you're rich like me then you don't care.

I called my slave to the cave to ask it,

To cook a feast and lower in a basket.


Those Romans think they're minted,

But they aint rich like me.

You can't call yourself loaded,

Till you can buy an army.

Ran Rome with Pompey and Caesar,

They're more famous than me.

But I'm the worlds richest geezer,

There's no-one richer than me.

I'm minted!


I back General Sulla,

Everyday my wallet got fuller.

Took the land off enemies to flog it,

Used the cash to fill my pocket.

If I heard of a house on fire,

I'd rush over and be a quick cash buyer.

My fireman would then douse the flames, boom!

Another big house to my name.


Those Romans think they're minted,

But they aint rich like me.

You can't call yourself loaded,

Till you can buy an army.

Ran Rome with Pompey and Caesar,

They're more famous than me.

But I'm the worlds richest geezer,

There's no-one richer than me.

I'm minted!


I bought an army for fighting Spartacus,

At the start my men lost heart-acus.

I killed on in ten in a killing spree,

So they were more scared of me than the enemy.

Smashed the slaves, it got real gory,

But then Pompey stole my glory.

To show it was me that crushed the horde,

Nailed up the slaves like on a billboard.

They're splinted!


Not enough to be a politician,

Wanted triumph, took my army on a mission.

Got owned by the Parthian Persians,

They killed me, but you'll hear two versions.

The famous one's quite hard to follow,

They gave me boiling gold to swallow.

But the true way they made me pay,

They used my head as a prop in a play!

Embarrasing!


Those Romans think they're minted,

But they aint rich like me.

You can't call yourself loaded,

Till you can buy an army.

Ran Rome with Pompey and Caesar,

They're more famous than me.

But I'm the worlds richest geezer,

There's no-one richer than me.


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Lyrics by Horrible Histories

  Australia Song   Aztec Priests   Aztec Priests Song   Ballard of Victoria and Albert   Blackbeard   Blackbeard's Song   Blackbeard's Song   Blue Bloody Blues   Born 2 Rule   Boudicca   British Things   Burke and Hare   Burke And Hare Song   Caveman Love   Celtic Boast Battle   Charles Dickens   Charles II   Charles II- King of Bling   Cleopatra   Cleopatra: I Can't Go On   Cleopatra: I Can't Go On   Dick Turpin   Dick Turpin Or Stand And Deliver   Divorced, Beheaded, Died   English Civil War   English Kings and Queens   Evil Roman Emperors (Bad)   Flame   George IV Solo   Georgian Make-up   Georgian Make-Up Song   Georgian Navy   God Compare   Henry VII   Hieroglyphics   How to Make a Mummy   I'm A Greek (Parts I And II)   I'm A Knight   I'm Minted   I'm A Greek (Parts I And II)   I'm A Knight   It's Not True   It's Not True   Joan Of Arc   Kings And Queens (Ruthless Rulers) Song   Literally: The Viking Song   Luddite   Luddite Revolts   Mary Seacole   Mary Seacole Song   Mary Tudor Song   Medieval Plague Song   Napoleon Bonaparte   Natural Selection   Norman Family Tree   Olympic Flame Song   Owain Glyndwr   Pachacuti   Pilgrim Rap   Richard III   Spartan High School Musical   Stone Age Song   Stupid Deaths   Suffragettes   The 4 Georges: Born 2 Rule   The Blue Blooded Blues   The Borgia Family   The Cowboy Song   The Monk Song   The Monks' Song   The Monks' Song   The Mummy Song   The Six Wives of Henry VIII   The Stone Age   The Suffragettes   The Thinkers   The Tudors   The Viking Song   Transportation   Victoria And Albert Love Ballad   Victorian Inventions   Viking Peace   We're History   We're History   William Shakespeare Song   William Wallace   Work, Terrible Work   World War II Girls   World War Two Girls

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