All right, stop whatcha doin' 'cause I'm about to ruinThe image and the style that ya used toI look funny, but yo I'm makin' money, seeSo yo world I hope you're ready for meNow gather round I'm the new fool in townAnd my sound's laid down by the UndergroundI drink up all the Hennessey ya got on ya shelfSo just let me introduce myselfMy name is Humpty, pronounced with a UmptyYo ladies, oh how I like to hump theeAnd all the rappers in the top ten please allow me to bump theeI'm steppin' tall, y'all, and just like Humpty DumptyYou're gonna fall when the stereos pump meI like to rhyme, I like my beats funkyI'm spunky, I like my oatmeal lumpyI'm sick wit dis, straight gangsta mackBut sometimes I get ridiculousI'll eat up all your crackers and your licoriceHey yo fat girl, c'mere are ya ticklish?Yeah, I called ya fat look at me, I'm skinnyIt never stopped me from gettin' busyI'm a freak I like the girls with the boomI once got busy in a Burger King bathroomI'm crazy allow me to amaze theeThey say I'm ugly but it just don't faze meI'm still gettin' in the girls' pantsAnd I even got my own danceThe Humpty Dance is your chance to do the humpDo the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty HumpDo the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty HumpDo ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty HumpDo the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty HumpPeople say Yo, Humpty, you're really funny lookin'That's all right 'cause I get things cookin'Ya stare, ya glare, ya constantly try to compare meBut ya can't get near meI give 'em more, see, and on the floor BAll the girls they adore meOh yes, ladies, I'm really bein' sincere'Cause in a 69 my humpty nose will tickle ya rearMy nose is big, uh-uh I'm not ashamedBig like a pickle, I'm still gettin' paidI get laid by the ladies, ya know I'm in chargeBoth how I'm livin' and my nose is largeI get stoopid, I shoot an arrow like CupidI use a word that don't mean nothin', like looptidI sang on do whutcha like, and if ya missed itI'm the one who said just grab 'em in the biscuitsAlso told ya that I like to biteWell, yeah, I guess it's obvious, I also like to writeAll ya had to do was give Humpty a chanceAnd now I'm gonna do my danceThe Humpty Dance is your chance to do the humpDo the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty HumpDo the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty HumpDo ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty HumpDo the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty HumpOh, yeah, that's the break, y'allLet me hear a little bit of that bass groove right hereOh, yeah! Now that I told ya a little bit about myselflet me tell ya a little bit about this danceIt's real easy to do check it outFirst I limp to the side like my leg was brokenShakin' and twitchin' kinda like I was smokin'Crazy wack funkyPeople say ya look like M.C. Hammer on crack, HumptyThat's all right 'cause my body's in motionIt's supposed to look like a fit or a convulsionAnyone can play this gameThis is my dance, y'all, Humpty Hump's my nameNo two people will do it the sameYa got it down when ya appear to be in painHumpin', funkin', jumpin', jig around, shakin' ya rump,and when the dude a chump pump points a finger like a stumptell him step off, I'm doin' the Hump.The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the humpDo the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty HumpDo the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty HumpDo ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty HumpDo the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty HumpBlack people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty HumpWhite people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty HumpPuerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doin' the humpSamoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty HumpLet's get stoopid!The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the humpDo the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty HumpDo the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty HumpDo ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty HumpDo the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty HumpOh, yeah, come on and break it downOnce again, the Underground is in the houseI'd like to send a shout out to the whole world,Keep on doin' the Humpty Dance, and to the ladiesPeace and humptiness forever
Lyrics by Digital Underground
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