Packet Man
Digital Underground

Excuse me trooper, will you be needing any packets
Today? Yo, be , don't be throwin' on my jacket, ok?
Cool, just trying to get your attention
So you can take a look at this invention

Now peep these, I got some more in my jacket
[Man, what are these, condoms?] Uh uh: sex packets
It's like a pill, you can either chew it up
Or like an alka-seltzer, dissolve it in a cup

And get this: see the girl on the cover?
You black out, and she becomes your lover
[You're trippin] no, I'm serious, these are authentic
[Yeah, well I don't take hallucenogenics]

Wrong again, my man, this is way more real
But since you know everything, I'll make someone else a deal

Yeah he's the packet man
Yeah he's the packet man
Yeah he's the packet man
Yeah he's the packet man

[Well now you got me curious, I'm kind thinkin bout buyin it]
Three for ten dollars, it can't hurt to try it
[Well what exactly do I get?]
Well read what it says, look at the picture [Bet

It says Chinese girl, age 17, waist 24, hips 33,
Hmmm, this one here says young black virgin
Man this is crazy, I'm gonna have to splure an
Get me a few of these things. How long do they last?]

Well it depends, let's see
These cheap ones here are ten minutes
But these are extra power, they last about a half an hour
And these here sell for bout 40

'Cause you get two girls [Yeah it says orgy]
Right, and if you're married, it's no big deal
You're not cheating at all, you're just poppin a pill
And if your wife's got a headache and wants to hit the sack

It's cool, take a packet fool
Biochemically compacted sexual affection
Now here, take a look at my selection

Yeah he's the packet man
Yeah he's the packet man
Yeah he's the packet man
Yeah he's the packet man

[OK, I want these two boxes of three
And give my blondy here, and that one that says orgy
And, by the way, I need something for my woman]
Sure, I got guy packets [Cool, give me some of em]

Now let me tell you how to take it:
Either sit of lie down, and you really should be naked
Otherwise you're gonna mess up your clothes, know what I mean?
This is more then just a dream

It's very realistic and it's gonna blow your mind
So be careful: only take one at a time
And never take one behind the wheel
You'll black out and hit a pole [Cool, let's make the deal]

These are 40, these are 80, and this one here is 10
Just give me a hundred dollars, I'll call it even
But don't pull your money out yet, see
There's one or two narcs in this area that sweat me

Over here, [Yeah, this looks kinda cool
20, 40, 60, 80 a hundred, shmoove]
Here's my number, in case you need to reach me again
And remember, you need to be as safe as you can

There's only one thing safer then using your hand
Dial that beeper number, and call the packet man

Yeah he's the packet man
Yeah he's the packet man
Yeah he's the packet man
Yeah he's the packet man


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Lyrics by Digital Underground

  All About You   April Showers   Arguin' on the Funk   Blind Mice   Body-Hats, Pt1   Body-Hats, Pt2   Body-Hats, Pt3   Channel Surfin'   Children Of The Sun   Cyber Teeth Tigers   Digital Lover   Do Ya Like It Dirty   Doo Woo You   Doowutchyalike   Doowutchyalike [Radio Mix]   Duck Season [Instrumental]   Eat Boiled Peanutz   Everything Ya Done 4 Me   Family Freestyles   Flowin' on the D-Line   Food Fight   Fool Get A Clue   Freaks of the Industry   Future Rhythm   Good Thing We're Rappin'   Gutfest '89 [Edit]   Heartbeat Props   Hella Bump   Hip Hop Doll   Holla-Holliday   Humpty Dance   Humpty Dance Awards   I Get Around   I Shall Return (Intro)   Jerkit Circus   Kiss You Back   Know Me, Feel Me   Lettuce In The Club   Man's Girl   No Nose Job   Nothing Has Changed   Nuttin Nis Funky   Nuttin' Nis Funky   Odd Couple   Oregano Flow (Gumbo Soup Mix)   Oregano Flow (Hot Sauce Mix)   Oregano Flow [Instrumental][Mix]   Packet Man (Worth a Packet Remix)   Psalm 150   Rhymin' on the Funk   Same Song   Sex Packets   Sex Packets Unplugged   Shake & Bake   Shake And Bake   Sons of the P   Tales of the Funky   The D-Flo Shuffle   The D-Flowstrumental   The Danger Zone   The Dflo Shuttle   The Higher Heights of Spirituality   The Humpty Dance   The Humpty Dance [Mini-Hump Radio Mix]   The Mission   The Odd Couple   The Return of the Crazy One   The Way We Swing (Remix)   Tie the Knot   Underwater Rimes   Underwater Rimes (Remix)   Underwater Rimes [Remix]   Walk Real Kool [Instrumental]   Want It All   Way We Swing   We Got More   Wheee!   Wind Me Up   Wussup Wit the Love   Wussup Wit the Luv   Wussup Wit the Luv [Single Version]   Wussup Wit' The Love   Your Life's a Cartoon

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