Host:
Lets meet contestant number 1, he's a schizophrenic serial killer clown who says; 'women love his sexy smile'. Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon. Sharon, what's your question?
Sharon:
Contestant #1, I believe first impressions last forever. So lets
say you were to come over to my parent's house and have dinner with me and my family, tell me what you'd do to make that first impression really stick.
Contestant #1:
Lets see..hm.. well, I'd have to think about it.
I might show up in a tux HA but I doubt it.
I'd probably just show up naked like I always do,
and look your mama in the eye and tell her fuck you!
Hurry up bitch I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti,
I'd pinch her limpy ass and tell her 'get the food ready!'
Your dad would probably start trippin' and get me pissed,
I'd have to walk up and BUST him in his fuckin' LIPS.
It's dinner time, we're hearin' grace from your mother
I'd pull a 40 out and pour some for your little brother.
I'm steady starin' at your sister, I'll tell you this,
you know for only 13 she got some big tits!
After that, your dad would try to jump again,
and only this time I'd put the 40 to his chin.
After your mom does the dishes and the silverware,
I'd dry fuck her till I nut in my underwear.
(applause and laughter)
Host:
Now lets meet Contestant number two. He's a psychopathic deranged crackhead freak who works for the dark carnival. He says women call him stretch nuts. Sharon let's hear your question.
Sharon:
I like a man who's not afraid to show his true emotions, a man who
expresses himself in his own special way. Number two, if you fell in love with me, exactly how would you let me know?
Contestant #2:
First thing, I could never love you.
You sound like ritchy bitch yo' Fuck You!
but if I did, I'd probably show you that I care
by takin' all these other motherfuckers outta here.
I'd go through your phone book and whack 'em all,
and find Contestant number one and break his fuckin' jaw (what!?).
Anyone who looked at you, would have to pay.
I'd be blowin' fuckin' nuggets off all day.
I'd grab your titties, and stretch 'em down past your waist,
let 'em go and watch 'em both spring up in your face.
I'd sing love songs to ya the best I can,
get ya naked and hit it like a CAVE MAN!
Then we go to the beach and walk through the sand
I throw a little in your face and say I'm just playin'.
as you spit it all out I rub your back
and grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack!
(applause and laughter)
Host:
Well it sounds like Contestant number two is just overflowing with
sensitivity Sharon. It's a tough choice so far. Sharon lets have your last
question and see which one is gonna win the rights to your Neden.
Sharon:
OK, if we were at a dance club and you both noticed me at the same
time, tell me, how would you each get my attention and what would your pick up line be? Remember, who ever's the smoothest wins!!
C#1:
OK, first, I'd slide up to the bar
and tell you that I can't believe how fucking fat you are.
I'd tell you that I like the way you make your titties shake
and if you lost a little weight you'd look like Rikki Lake!
C#2:
Fuck That! You'd be jackin' me quick.
I'd order you a drink and stir it with my dick,
and then to get your attention in the crowded place,
I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face.
C#1:
Yeah freak her with your nuts yeah that'll get her!
C#2:
Tell her that she's fat, YEAH that'll work even better!
C#1:
Look, FUCK YOU, I got a strong rap shit,
you don't want Contestant number two, he's mad whack.
I walked into a barn and there he was, standing up on a bucket
*Laughs* tryin' to fuck it,
it was a big, fucking, smelly ass farm LLAMA
C#2:
DAMN dawg! How you gonna dis your mama?!?!?!
The Dating Game
ICP (Insane Clown Posse)
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Lyrics by ICP (Insane Clown Posse)
$50 Bucks 10 Bodies 12 17 Dead 24 3 Rings 85 Bucks An Hour Ain't Yo Bidness Alley Rat Amber Alert Amy's In The Attic Angels Falling Another Love Song Assassins Bang! Pow! Boom! Basehead Attack Bazooka Joey Beautiful Doom Behind the Paint Beverly Kills Beverly Kills 50187 Birthday Bitches Bitch I Lied Bitch Slappaz Bitches Bitches (w/ old dirty bastard) Bizzar Blaaam!!! Blacken Your Eyes Blam! Bloody Bitch Bodies Fly Boing Boing Bonus Track Boogie Woogie Wu Bowling Balls Bring It On Bugz on my Nugz Bugz On My Nutz Burning Up C.P.K.S (Remix) Carnival of Carnage Cartoon Nightmares Cemetery Girl Cherry Pie (I Need a Freak) Chicken Huntin Chicken Huntin' (Slaughterhouse mix) Chop Chop Slide Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop! With Esham Chris Benoit Clown Love Clown Walk Confessions Conquer Cotton Candy Cotton Candy & Popsicles CPKs Crop Circles Crossing Thy Bridge Crystal Ball Daisies Dead Body Man Dead Body Man ( in album Terror Wheel) Dead Body Man (Original) Dead End w/Ice T" Dead Pumpkins Deadbeat Moms Dear ICP Demon Face Dirt Ball Dog Beats Dog Catchers DogBeats Down With The Clown Duke Of The Wicked Echo Side Echoside Eminem's Mom Every Halloween Everybody Rize Everyday I Die Fat Sweaty Betty Fearless Feels So Right First Day Out Fly Away Fonz Pond For the Maggots Forever Forever (Extended Remix) (Featuring the Geto Boys) Freaky Creep Show Fuck Off Fuck Off! Fuck The World Fuck the World (Clean) Get Off me, Dog! Get Ya Wicked On Ghetto freak show Ghetto Rainbows Ghetto Zone Go Shaggz Graveyard Great Milenko Growing Again Guess My Religon Guts On The Ceiling Halloween On Military Street Halls Of Illusion Halls of Illusions Halls of illusions (clean) Hate Her To Death Haunted Bumps Headless Boogie Hellalujah Hells Forecast Hey Vato High Rise Hokus Pokus Hokus Pokus Headhuta'z Remix Homies Homies (Remix) Homies 2 Smoke With Horrible Horrifying House of Horrors House of Mirrors House Of Wonders How Many Times How Many Times? Hum Drum Boogie I Didn't Mean To Kill 'Em I Do This I Do This! I Found A Body I Hate Santa Claws I Stab People I Stuck Her With My Wang I Want My Shit I'm Not Alone If If I Was A King If I Was A Serial Killer If I Was King If You Can't Beat 'Em, Join 'Em Imma Kill U In my Room In The Haughhh! In Yo Face Insane Killers Into Thy Light Intro Intro ( Riddle Box ) Intro ( The Amazing Jeckel Brothers ) Intro ( The Great Milenko ) Intro ( Tunnel Of Love ) Intro (Bang! Pow! Boom!) Intro (Carnival Of Carnage) Intro (Forgotten Freshness Vol. 4) Intro (Forgotten Freshness, Vol. 3) Intro (Intelligence & Violence) Intro (Psychopathics From Outer Space Part 2) Intro (The Calm) Intro (The Wraith: Hells Pit) Intro. Intro(wizard Of The Hood) Is That You? It It Rains Diamonds It's All Over Jack Jeckel Jake Jeckel Joke Ya Mind Joke Your Mind Joker & The Juggler/Let Me Go Joker's Wild Juggalo Chant Juggalo Chant (We Will Never Die Alone) Juggalo Family Juggalo Homies Juggalo Island Juggalo Juice Juggalo Paradise Juggalo's Paradise Jump Around Just Another Crazy Clique Just Like That Kermit The Frog On Weed Kickin Kickin Knock 2 Dis Mix Kottonmouth Kings "Wickit Klown" w/ICP Let A Killa Let a Killa Fuck You Let it Rain Let Me Go Let's Go All the Way Life At Risk Like It Like That Lil' Somethin' Somethin' Lockdown Love Love For Dem Gangsters Love Song Mad Professer Mad Professor Madhouse Manic Depressive Marijuanaville Maybe/Soopa Meat Cleaver Mental Warp Mexico City Mind Of Howard Stern Miracles Mom Song Mr. Happy Mr. Johnson's Head Mr. Johnson's Head Remix Mr. Rotten Treats Murda Cloak Murder Go Round Murder Rap Murder, Murder, Murder Mutiple Myselves My Axe My Fun House My Funhouse My Homie Baby Mama My Kind of Bitch My Shine Neden Game Never Had it Made News At 6 O'Clock Night Of The Axe Night Of The Chainsaw Ninja Nobody Move Nothing's Left Nuttin' But a Bitch Thang Off the Track Ol' Evil Eye Old School Pervert Oldie But Goodie Out Out There Over A Bitch Pain Panties Party Pass Me By Phat or Wack? Piggie Pie Piggy Pie Piggy Pie (Old School) Play My Song Play With Me Please Don't Hate Me Posse on Vernor Prom Queen Psychopathic Psycopathic Pumpkin Carver Questions R-U-A Ryda? Radio Stars Rain Rainbows & Stuff Rainbows And Stuff Real Underground Baby Rebel Flag Red Christmas Red Neck Hoe Red Neck Neck 99 Redneck Hoe Rich and Famous (Mancow Made Us) Riddle Box Ride The Tempest Ringmaster's Word Rollin' Over Rosemary Run Run! Santa's A Fat Bitch Scatter Brain Sedatives She Aint Afraid Shiny Diamonds Shooting Stars Silence Of The Hams Simple and Blunt Skitsofrantic Skreeem! Sky Is Falli Sky Is Falling Sleep Walker Sleep Walkers Slim Anus Smog Some F*ckin How Somebody Dissin U Soopa Villians Southwest Song Southwest Strangla Southwest Voodoo Staaaaaaaaale!!! Stalker Still Stabbin Stomp Stomp! Suicide Hotline Super Balls Super Star Swallow This Nut Take It Take It! Take Me Away Take Me Home Taste Terrible The Amazing Maze The Blasta The Bone The Clowns Are Back The Dead One The Great Show The Juggla The Loons The Love Song The Madness The Mighty Death Pop The Mom Song The Neden Game The Night of the 44 The Night Of The Axe The Oddities The Party The Pendulum's Promise The People The Perfect Night The Raven's Mirror The Shaggy Show The Show Must Go On The Sky Is Falling The Smog The Staleness The Stalker The Stalness The Tower The Train (featuring ABK) The Witch The Wraith Three 6 Mafia w/ICP & Twiztid Three Rings Three Rings (Old School) Thrill Of The Kill Thug Pit Thy Intro Thy Ravens Mirror Thy Staleness Thy Wraith Tilt a Whirl Tilt-A-Whirl To Catch A Predator Tower Toxic Love Toy Box True Stories Truly Alone Under the Moon Underground Baby Vera Lee Vultures Wagon Wagon Walk into the Darkness Walk Into The Light Walk Into Thy Light Warrior Watch My Ride Wax Museum We Gives No Fuck We Gives No Fucks We'll Be Alright Welcome To The Show Welcome To Thy Show What About Now? What Is A Juggalo What is a Juggalo? What's the hell's a ninja? When I Get Out When Vampiro Gets High Who Asked You Who asked You? Who Wanna Flex? Who? Whoop! Whut Wicked Halloween Wicked Rappers Delight Willy Bubba Wind Me Up Witching Hour Wizard Of The Hood Y Yellow Bus You Belong Yours Begins Tonight Zombie Slide
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