Now Everybody's MeRodney: Joe, shut up!Everybody hates Edie BrickellAll my favourite shows are on TVAll the restaurants serve my favourite food'Cause now everybody's meNow my apartment's really crowded'Cause I live there and I'm everybodyAnd everybody's sleeping with my girlBut, hey, everybody's meNow everybody's me (x4)Everybody's watching Married with ChildrenEverybody's into bestialityThe stores stopped selling Amstel light'Cause now everybody's meEverybody loves Charles MansonEverybody wants to set him freeAnd everybody's on the parole board'Cause now everybody's meNow everybody's me (x4)I had to put an end to warDidn't make much sense to shoot at myselfNo more Christians, Jews, Muslims or Amway salesmenJust a whole planet of TV addictsEverybody's got hairy feetEverybody follows my philosophyEverybody's got a nephew named Jeff'Cause now everybody's meThey had to lower all the basketball nets'Cause everybody's only 5 foot 3And everybody likes to dress like a monkey'Cause now everybody's meNow everybody's me (x4)Now everybody's into what I doSteve Albini, John? and Frank Sinatra sound exactly like meI even set up a duo with Julio IglesiasIt was called Me and Julio Down By the Crackhouse'Cause even Julio Iglesias is meI have the number one albumI have all the albums'Cause now everybody's me!+ (1:59) [untitled]--------------------------Now, I understand that some of you don't know Sarah Jane, so I'll tellyou a little bit about her. She's a lesbian Eskimo midget albino. Shewent to college and she started the Lesbian midget Eskimo AlbinoStudent Union, and four hundred people signed up. There they were,hundreds of 'em, lesbian midget left-handed Eskimo albinos. Did Imention the fact that she's left-handed? She's left-handed, alright.Girl's got some strange hobbies. One of her hobbies is lowering childreninto open manholes, which is kinda difficult 'cause a lot of thechildren are taller than her, her being a midget and everything... orher being a left-handed midget... or her being a left-handed lesbianmidget... or her being a left-handed lesbian albino midget... or herbeing a lesbian left-handed albino midget Eskimo... life can be reallydifficult on that young lady.She bit me once, you know. Right here, ya see this? Left a mark. She waslowerin' a friend of mine's kid into the sewer, I run up, and tried tostop her. I said, Listen there, you lesbian midget left-handed albino!And you stop right there! Then she bit me. I'm afraid I'm gonna... I'mgonna turn into a lesbian left-handed midget albino when the moon isfull.Oh my God, the moon is full tonight! I can feel myself shrinking! I canfeel myself getting left-handed! I can feel myself getting the urge tobuild an igloo! I can feel my skin turning white and my eyes gettingred! I can feel... I can feel the urge... to buy a Suzanne Vega album!!NOOO! NNNNNOOOO!!!!NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!Oh, I'm okay; it was just gas.
Lyrics by The Dead Milkmen
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