As I sat at my window last evenin’ the letterman brought unto meA little gilt-edged invitation sayin’: Bill Hooly, come over to teaSure, I knew that the Fogherty’s sent it; so I went, just for old friendship’s sakeAnd the first thing they gave you to tackle was a slice o’ Miss Fogherty’s cakeNow, there were plums and prunes and cherriesThere were saffrons and raisins and cinnamon tooThere was nutmegs, cloves and berriesAnd the crust that was held on with glueThere were caraway seeds in abundanceSure to build up a fine stomach acheIt would kill a man twice just for eatin’ a sliceOf Miss Fogherty’s Christmas cake---Miss Mulligan wanted to taste it But really, there wasn’t no useThey worked at it over an hour And they couldn’t get none of it looseTill Kelly came in with a hatchet And Murphy came in with a sawThat cake was enough, by the powers To paralyze any man’s jaw---Miss Fogherty, proud as a peacock Kept smilin’ and blinkin’ awayTill she fell over Flannigan’s broggins And spilled the whole brew of her taeOh, Bill Hooly, she cried, you’re not eatin’ Try a little bit more for my sakeNo thanks, Mrs. Fogherty, says I But I’d Like the receipt o’ that cake---Maloney was took with the colic McKnolte complained of his headMcFadden laid down on the sofa And he swore that he wished he was deadMiss Daily fell down in hysterics And there she did wriggle and shakeWhile every man swore he was poisoned For eatin Miss Fogherty’s cake
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