The Kissin' of the Sheriff's Wife
Darby O'Gill

Well me name it is Michael and I’ve lived in Dublin all me life

My father was a farmer and me mother was the farmers wife

They raised them up a family of girls to number twenty-one

Of which I am the youngest and me blessed father’s only son

Now living with so many girls ye’d think me hair’d be in curls

ye’d think I’d wear a scarf and have me earrings set with pretty purls

Oh, but I am a master of a man with manly passion

And I always kiss the girls in a very manly fashion

I wear a manly mustache and I drink me whiskey manly-like

And all me friends’ll warn ye not to pick a row with “manly Mike”

Last week I kissed the sheriffs’ wife; she kissed me back with little strife

She swore it was the finest kiss she’d ever had in all her life

But the sheriff saw the kissin’ and he swore upon his station

He’d use his legal powers to change my situation

He went to the magistrate and told him of my rampage

When drunk, I fell upon his wife and took unfair advantage

He swore that I had pulled a knife and put it to his pretty wife

And charged her for a kiss or else I’d disengage her very life

Aye, and other wrongful charges he drew up without true evidence

And thus convinced the magistrate that I should pay a recompense

Well I had to stand the trial because I refused to pay the fine

I smiled when it turn out, the magistrate; he was a friend of mine

Your honor, Mister Cassidy if you have the capacity

I’ll give back the kiss I stole and thus prove my varassity

Well the sheriff’s wife was willin’, and the sheriff had to curse and swear

As I kissed the sheriff’s wife in the courtroom from the witness chair

Well, Ma’am, says the magistrate, is that the kiss you lost before?

Well, says she: I’m not quite sure; perhaps if I could try one more

Then she kissed me without ration, a kiss of carnal passion

‘Till all the girls were blushin’ and the sheriff’s teeth were gnashin’

Araugh, proclaimed the magistrate, a clearer case I never saw

For both of you are guilty of crimes not covered by the law

To sentence you at all or to render a conviction

As much as some might like it it’s not in my jurisdiction

So I said to the gallery I’ll spend me next month’s salary

To celebrate across the street in the tavern of O’Mallery

Sure and anyone who comes they can help me drink away my sin

And everyone’s invited. . . but do not let the sheriff in

Well, we all rushed across the street in high anticipation

To celebrate the famous justice of the Irish nation

The word went round that drinks were free and people came from miles to see

The farmer’s son who’d won the day and kissed his way to liberty

Well by twos and by threes we all rushed into the drinkin’ hall

Young men and old men and girls who were not men at all

And we drank all the beer that me monthly wage would cover

Then Michael Conway said that he would pay for yet another

When that was finish, Ill be bound, each other man put up a pound

And we drank until we couldn’t lift a glass to drink another round

Then we all staggered home by the light upon the summer moon

And no one that was there that night got out of bed ‘till after noon

And that was the day I’ll remember fondly all me life

The day that made me famous for the Kissin’ Of the Sheriff’s Wife

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