Snow Up Your Nose For Christmas
Ringo Starr

By Donald Pleasence and Meira Pleasence

SNOW UP YOUR NOSE FOR CHRISTMAS,
ICE ON YOUR PAWS AND YOUR CLAWS.
TING-A-LING, TING-A-LING, TING-A-LING, LEARN TO SING,
AN ANIMAL'S CHRISTMAS FIT FOR A KING.

DING-DING-DING-A-LING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING.

DING-DING-DING-A-LING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING.

IT'S NOT THE BEST DAY OF THE YEAR
FOR A DUCK OR A GOOSE OR A DEER.
LITTLE CHICKS CAN GET KILLED,
FATHER GEESE, I AM TOLD,
HATE THE SIGHT OF THE SNOW
AND THE RICH CHRISTMAS CHILL.

DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING-A-LING...

DIALOG:

LOOK! LOOK! THE JOLLIES' ON TV! THERE'S MOLLY JOLLY AND THERE'S HOLLY JOLLY AND THE ELECTRIC GUITAR, AND MISTER WALLY JOLLY STANDING ON HIS HEAD AND PLAYING THE TROMBONE AT THE SAME TIME!
WHO'S THE GIRL?
POLLY JOLLY!

DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING.

SNOW UP YOUR NOSE FOR CHRISTMAS,
SNOW FOR A FAT SANTA CLAUS.
THERE IS SNOW UP YOUR NOSE,
THERE IS ICE ON HIS TOES,
PEOPLE GETS PRESENTS WHEREVER HE GOES.

DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING.

DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING-A-LING,
DING-A-LING, DING-A-LING.

SNOW UP YOUR NOSE, WIND ON YOUR FACE,
SNOW UP YOUR NOSE ON THE WHOLE HUMAN RACE.

DIALOG:

MIDNIGHT, THE FAMILY WENT TO BED.

I'M OUT! COME ON, BONCE, FOOD!
THEY ATE CHRISTMAS CAKE, MINTS PIES, CHEESE.
CAN'T WE PULL ONE?
A CRACKER?
WELL, THEY'RE ALL ASLEEP, LISTEN!
THE TWO MICE PULLED, THE CRACKER PARTED WITH A BANG. THERE WAS SILENCE ABOVE THEM, QUIET AS CHOCOLATE MICE. THE MICE LISTENED.
LET'S SEE WHAT'S INSIDE.
LITTLE BAG!
BRITISH AIRWAYS! JUST THE THING FOR OUR SURVIVAL KIT.
HE FILLED THE TOY BAG WITH CHEESE AND CAKE AND JUMPED TO THE FLOOR.
WE'RE AWAY!
BONCE NOSED HIS WAY THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR LIKE AN ELECTRIC DRILL.
AFTER YOU, SCOUSE.
SCOUSE PUT HIS NOSE INTO THE OUTSIDE WORLD.
OH, OH, IT'S, IT'S, IT'S COLD OUT THERE! AND THERE'S WHITE STUFF, SNOW, I THINK.
OH, SCOUSE, I THINK I'LL STAY HOME.
YOU CALL THIS HOME? LISTEN, YOU CAN ALWAYS JOIN ME. WATCH THE TELLY, I'LL BE THERE.
HOW?
I'LL BE FAMOUS! FAMOUS PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS ON THE TELLY.
WELL, GOOD LUCK THEN. BYE.
EH...RIGHT!
HE WENT. SCOUSE THE MOUSE WAS FREE.


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Lyrics by Ringo Starr

  'I've Got Blisters...'   "Blue, Turning Grey Over You"   $15 Draw   A Dose Of Rock 'N' Roll   A Dose Of Rock'N'Roll   A Love Bizarre   A Man Like Me   A Mouse Like Me   A Salty Dog   Act Naturally   Act Naturally (All Starr Band Version)   Act Naturally [DVD]   Act Naturally [Live]   After All These Years   Alibi   All by Myself   All In The Name Of Love   All the Young Dudes   America (A Mouse's Dream)   American Woman   Anthem   As Far As We Can Go   Ask Louey   At My Front Door   Attention   Attention [Radio Edit]   Baby I Love Your Way   Back By Boogaloo   Back Off Boogaloo   Back Off Boogaloo (Version 2)   Back Off Boogaloo (Version Two)   Back Off Boogaloo [DVD]   Bad Boy   Bamboula   Bang the Drum All Day   Be My Baby   Beaucoups Of Blues   Black Maria   Blindman   Blink   Blue Christmas   Blue Turning Grey over You   Blue, Turning Grey Over You   Boat Ride   Boys   Boys [DVD]   Boys [Live]   Brandy   Bridges   Bye Bye Blackbird   Call Me   Can She Do It Like She Dances   Can't Do It Wrong   Choose Love   Choose Love [DVD]   Christmas Eve   Christmas Time Is Here Again   Come On Christmas, Christmas Come On   Come on Christmas, Come on Christmas   Confirmation   Coochy Coochy   Coochy Coochy (Long Version)   Coochy Coochy [*]   Cookin' (In The Kitchen Of Love)   Count Down Meets Merlin And Amber   Cryin'   Daybreak   Dead Giveaway   Dear Santa   Desperado   Devil Woman   Don't Be Cruel   Don't Go Where The Road Don't Go   Don't Go Where The Roads Don't Go   Don't Hang Up   Don't Know A Thing About Love   Don't Mean Nothin   Don't Pass Me By   Dont Hang Up   Dose Of Rock N Roll   Down   Down and Out   Down and Out [*]   Dream   Dream Weaver [Live]   Drift Away   Drowning In The Sea Of Love   Drumming Is My Madness   Early 1970   Early 1970 [*]   Easy For Me   Elizabeth Reigns   Elizabeth Reigns [Album Track][Version]   English Garden   English Garden [Album Track][Version]   Everlasting Love   Everybody Wants You   Everybody's In A Hurry But Me   Everyday   Everyone Wins   Eye to Eye   Eye to Eye [Album Track][Version]   Eye to Eye [DVD]   Fading In And Out   Fading In Fading Out   Fading in Fading Out [DVD]   Fastest Growing Heartache In The West   Fill In The Blanks   For Love   Frankenstein, Merlin And The Operation   Frankentstein, Merlin And The Operation   Free Drinks   Free Drinks [Enhanced Stereo][Multimedia Track]   Free Ride   Free Ride [Live]   Gave It All Up   Girls Talk   Give a Little Bit   Give It A Try   Give Me Back The Beat   Give Me Back the Beat [DVD]   Give Me Back the Beat [Enhanced Stereo][Multimedia...   Glamorous Life   Going Down   Golden Blunders   Gone Are The Days   Good News   Goodnight Vienna   Goodnight Vienna (Reprise)   Groovin'   Gypsies In Flight   Hand Gun Promos   Hard Times   Hard To Be True   Hard to Be True [DVD]   Harry s Song   Harry's Song   Have I Told You Lately   Have I Told You Lately That I Love You   Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?   Have You Seen My Baby   Have You Seen My Baby (Hold On)   Heart on My Sleeve   Hey Baby   Hey! Baby   Hold Your Head Up   Honey Don't   Hopeless   Hungry Eyes   Husbands And Wives   I Can't Tell You Why   I Don't Believe You   I Feel Free   I Hear You Knocking   I Keep Forgettin'   I Know A Place   I Think Therefore I Rock 'n' Roll   I Wanna Be Santa Claus   I Wanna Be Your Man   I Was Walkin'   I Wouldn't Have You Any Other Way   I'd Be Talking All The Time   I'll Be Fine Anywhere   I'll Still Love You   I'm A Fool To Care   I'm Going Down   I'm Home   I'm the Greatest   I'm Yours   I've Got Blisters...   I'm The Greatest   If It s Love That You Want   If It's Love That You Want   Iko Iko   Iko-Iko   Imagine Me There   Imagine Me There [Album Track][Version]   Imagine Me There [DVD]   In A Heartbeat   In Liverpool   In My Car   In The City: Bang The Drum All Day   Instant Amnesia   Instant Amnesia [Album Track][Version]   Intro   Island in the Sun   It Don't Come Easy   It Don't Come Easy (Original)   It Don't Come Easy   It Dont Come Easy   It Is He Who Will Be King   It's All Down To Goodnight Vienna   It's No Secret   Jump Into The Fire   King Of Broken Hearts   La De Da   La De Da (Radio Edit)   Lady Gaye   Las Brisas   Lay Down Your Arms   Let Love Lead   Let The Rest Of The World Go By   Lipstick Traces (On a Cigarette)   Liverpool 8   Living In A Pet Shop   Logical Song   Loser's Lounge   Love Bizarre   Love Don't Last Long   Love First   Love First, Ask Questions Later   Love First, Ask Questions Later [DVD]   Love Is   Love Is a Many Splendored Thing   Love Is A Many Splendoured Thing   Love Me Do   Lucky Man   Me And You   Memphis in Your Mind   Memphis in Your Mind [Album Track][Version]   Memphis in Your Mind [DVD]   Mindfield   Missouri Loves Company   Monkey See - Monkey Do   Monkey Sees - Monkey Do   Mr. Double-It-Up   Mr. Doubleitup   Mystery Of The Night   Never Without You   Never Without You [Album Track][Version]   Never Without You [DVD]   Never Without You [Live]   Night And Day   No No Song   No No Song\/Skokiaan   No One Is To Blame   No Song   Norwegian Wood   Not Looking Back   Now That She s Gone Away   Now That She's Gone Away   Occapella   Octopus's Garden   Oh My Lord   Oh My My   Oh My My [Live]   Oh, My My   OK Ray   Old Time Relovin'   One   Onlv You   Only You   Only You (And You Alone)   Only You (And You Alone) [DVD]   Oo-Wee   Out On The Streets   Pasodobles   Pax Um Biscum   Pax Um Biscum (Peace Be With You)   Peace Dream   People Got To Be Free   Perhaps This Is All A Dream   Photograph   Photograph [DVD]   Photograph [Live]   Picture Show Life   Postcards From Paradise   Private Property   Puppet   Pure Gold   R U Ready?   Raining In My Heart   Red And Black Blues   Remember (Christmas)   Right Side of the Road   Rock Island Line   Rock Me Tonight   Rory And The Hurricanes   Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer   Runaways   Running Free   S.O.S.   Samba   Satisfied   Scouse The Mouse   Scouse's Dream   Scousey   Sentimental Journey   Sentimental Journey [DVD]   She's About A Mover   She's Not There   Shine Silently   Should've Known Better   Show Me The Way   Silent Homecoming   Simple Love Song   Sing A Song For The Tragopan   Six O'Clock   Six O'clock (Extended)   Six O'Clock (Short Version)   Slow Down   Sneaking Sally Through The Alley   Snookeroo   Some Kind of Wonderful   Some People   Sometimes   Spooky Weirdness   Stardust   Step Lightly   Stop And Take The Time To Smell The Other Roses   Stop And Take The Time To Smell The Roses   Sunshine Life For Me   Sunshine Life For Me (Sail Away Raymond)   Sunshine Of Your Love   Sure To Fall   Sure To Fall (In Love With You)   Take the Long Way Home   Takin' Care Of Business   Tango All Night   The Abdication Of Count Down   The Christmas Dance   The Counts Vulnerability   The End/the Moonbeam Song   The End\/The Moonbeam Song   The Glamours Life   The Little Drummer Boy   The Moonbeam Song   The No-No Song   The Other Side Of Liverpool   The Really \"Serious\" Introduction   The Turnaround   The Weight   Think About You   Think It Over   This Be Called A Song   Time   Tommy's Holiday Camp   Tonight   Touch and Go   Trippin' On My Own Tears   Tuff Love   Turnaround   Vertical Man   Waiting   Wake Up   Walk With You   Weight Of The World   What Goes Around   What Goes On   What Goes On [Live]   What In The... World   What In The... World (Live)   What Love Wants to Be   Where Did Our Love Go   Whispering Grass   Whispering Grass (Don't Tell The Trees)   White Christmas   Who Can It Be Now [Live]   Who Needs A Heart   Who's Your Daddy   Will It Go Round in Circles   Wine, Women And Loud Happy Songs   Wings   Winter Wonderland   With A Little Help From My Friends   With a Little Help from My Friends (Reprise)   With A Little Help From My Friends [Live]   With A Little Hope From My Friends   Without Her   Without Understanding   Without You   Woman Of The Night   Wonderful   Wrack My Brain   Write One for Me   Wrong All the Time   Y Not   Yellow Submarine   Yellow Submarine [Instrumental]   Yellow Submarine [Live]   You Always Hurt The One You Love   You And Me   You And Me (Babe)   You Belong To Me   You Bring The Party Down   You Can't Fight Lightning   You Don't Know Me At All   You Never Know   You Never Know (From The Soundtrack Of The Movie C   You're 16 (You're Beautiful And You're Mine)   You're Sixteen   You're Sixteen (You're Beautiful And You're Mine)   You've Got A Nice Way

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