Why do I feel like I'm alwaysnGonna get it right next time,nWhen every time I open my eyesnI repeat the same shit that makesnMe lose at everything I do.nEvery time I try to do goodnI'm made a fool,nA fucking cesspool of lies,nBut in my head I think they're true.nnI think it's time I clear my mind,nAnd fess up for everytime I've lied.nBut not tonight, there's not enough time.nI'd rather just get high and write downnAll the times I've been this low,nAnd all the shit I've put you through.nYou'll never knownI'm a selfish imbecile.nYou don't love me,nYou love what I say to you.nnI fucking hate myself,nI hate my friends.nI hate my job, I hate everything but you.nnI fucking hate myself,nI hate my friends.nI hate my job, I hate everything but you.nnThis is why I can not tell you what you deserve to know.nIf you leave I swear I'll end it all right here.nDo you really want me to?nI just don't know what the fuck else I should do.