I Hate Christmas
Carroll Spinney

I can't think of anything that's dumber
To a grouch, Christmas is a bummer!

Beaming faces everywhere, happiness is in the air
I'm telling you, it isn't fair!
I hate Christmas!

People loaded with good will, giving presents, what a thrill
That slushy nonsense makes me ill
I hate Christmas!

I'd rather have a holiday like normal grouches do
Instead of getting presents, they take presents back from you
Heh heh

Here comes Santa, girls and boys
So, who needs that big red noise!
I'll tell him where to put his toys
I hate Christmas!

And if you want the truth, I ain't so crazy about Thanksgiving or Labor Day either!
Christmas carols to be sung, decorations to be hung
Oh, yeah? Well, I stick out my tongue!
I hate Christmas!

Christmas bells play loud and strong
Hurts my ears, all that ding dong
Besides it goes on much too long
I hate Christmas!

I'd rather have a holiday with a lot less joy and flash
With a lot less cheerful smiling, and a lot more dirty trash, yeah!

Christmas Day is almost here
When it's over, then I cheer
I'm glad it's only once a year
I hate Christmas!

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Lyrics by Carroll Spinney

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