(One, two, three)nnI had this friend, he had this friendnI met his friend, I've got two friendsnGee, ain't that swell?nI had this friend with a girlfriendnI met his friend, I've got two friendsnBut one really good friend, oh ohnIn my friend's girlfriend I saw GodnIt didn't surprise me God was flawednnShe bit me hard, it left a marknThank God you can't see these things in the darknI spent with her my New Year's EvenWhat about your boy?nFuck him, kiss menFuck him, kiss menI didn't know she'd stay true to her wordnDon't that sound a bit absurd?nOhnOh...nnYou said he left you hangingnOn the night of Senior PromnWhen you let him have his way with younHe wouldn't even let you comenSo you went and made a man of himnI can see it in his strutnBut you'd barely even touch my dicknYou goddamn little slut