Maids like me. I'm neat
I like maids. They're neat
Something no household should be without.
Everybody ought to have a maid,
Everybody ought to have a working girl,
Everybody ought to have a lurking girl
To putter around the house.
Everybody ought to have a maid,
Everybody ought to have a menial
Consistantly congenial
And quieter than a mouse.
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delicious,
Tidying up the dishes, Neat as a pin.
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delightful,
Sweeping out, Sleeping in.
Everybody ought to have a maid,
Someone who you hire when you're short of help
To offer you the sort of help
You never get from a spouse.
Fluttering up the stairway,
Shuttering up the windows,
Cluttering up the bedroom,
Buttering up the master,
Puttering all around the house!
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delicious,
Tidying up the dishes, Neat as a pin.
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delightful,
Sweeping out, Sleeping in.
Everybody ought to have a maid,
Someone who in fetching you your slipper will
Be winsome as a whipporwill
And graceful as a grouse.
Skittering down the hallway,
Flittering through the parlor,
Tittering in the pantry,
Littering up the bedroom--
Puttering all around the house!
A maid? A maid. A maid. A maid!
Everybody ought to have a maid,
Everybody ought to have a serving-girl,
A loyal and unswerving girl,
Whose quieter than a mouse
Oh, oh, Think of her at the dustbin,
'Specially when she's just been Traipsing about.
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delightful,
Living in, Giving out.
Everybody ought to have a maid,
Daintily collecting bits of paper n' strings,
Appealing in her apron strings
Beguiling in her blouse
Pattering through the attic,
Chattering in the cellar,
Clattering in the kitchen,
Flattering in the bedroom,
Puttering all around the house!
The house!
The house!
The house!
A maid? A maid. A maid. A maid!
Everybody ought to have a maid,
Someone who's efficient and reliable,
Obedient and pliable,
And quieter than a mouse!
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be so nimble,
Fiddling with her thimble, Mending her gown.
Oh, oh, wouldn't she be delightful,
Cleaning up, Leaning down.
Everybody ought to have a maid,
Someone who'll be busy as a bumblebee
And even if you grumble, be
As graceful as a grouse.
Wriggling in the anteroom,
Jiggling in the living room,
Giggling in the dining room,
Wiggling in the other rooms,
Puttering all around the house!
The house!
The house!
The house!
Everybody Ought To Have A Maid
Stephen Sondheim
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Lyrics by Stephen Sondheim
\ A Hero Is Coming A Little Priest A Parade In Town A weekend in the country Agony America Another Hundred People Another National Anthem Anyone Can Whistle Anyone Can Whistle (Demo Track) [#][*][Demo Versio... Anyone Can Whistle [From Anyone Can Whistle] Arlette By Night Back In Business Being Alive Broadway Baby Can That Boy Fox Trot Children Will Listen Comedy Tonight Epiphany Everybody Loves Leona Everybody's Got The Right Everything's Coming Up Roses Finishing the Hat Gee Officer Krupke Green Finch And Linnet Bird Happily Ever After Have To Give Her Someone I Must Be Dreaming I Never Do Anything Twice I Remember I Wish I Could Forget You I'm All For You I'm Still Here Incidental Music Interesting Questions Invocation And Instructions To The Audience Isn't He Something Johanna (From Sweeny Todd) Ladies Who Lunch Live Alone And Like It Live Alone and Like It (From Dick Tracy) Losing My Mind Marry Me A Little Marry Me a Little [From Company] No Mary Ann No More No One Is Alone Not A Day Goes By Old Friends Pretty Women Second Midnight Send In The Clowns Somewhere Sooner or Later Take Me To The World The Ballad Of Booth The Ballad Of Sweeney Todd The Boy From The Miller's Son The Worst Pies In London There Is No Other Way There's Something About A War They Ask Me Why I Believe In You This Week Americans Tonight Waiting For The Girls Upstairs Water Under The Bridge Welcome To Kanagawa What Can You Lose? Wo sind die Clowns?
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