I'm Afraid, Pretty Maid, I'm Afraid (6 Feb 1912)
Berlin Irving

Berlin Irving

Miscellaneous

I'm Afraid, Pretty Maid, I'm Afraid (6 Feb 1912)

[1st verse:]

Two old sweethearts met the other day

On a crowded car and started talking

I'm so glad to see you, said the maid

Let's get off the car and do some walking

Pardon me, said the fellow with a sigh

Things that have happen'd don't allow

Walks we had in the days gone by

Are walks we can't have now


[chorus:]

I'd like to take you walking

But I'm afraid, pretty maid, I'm afraid

What's the good of talking

When I'm afraid, pretty maid, I'm afraid

I'm married now and my walking days are done

My wife's right hand weighs a half a ton

Gee! I'd like to have a little bit of fun

But I'm afraid, pretty maid, I'm afraid


[2nd verse:]

Please don't tempt me, said the married man

Knowing that my wife is strong and lively

If she ever heard about the plan

She'd decorate my room with poison ivy

You'd enjoy if I took you out to dine

But then it wouldn't be a joke

I would think of that wife of mine

And then I know I'd choke


[2nd chorus:]

I'd like to take you walking

But I'm afraid, pretty maid, I'm afraid

What's the good of talking

When I'm afraid, pretty maid, I'm afraid


My wife's right hand wears a bunch of pointed rings

Any time she hits, you bet it stings

Gee! I'd like to do a lot of things

But I'm afraid, pretty maid, I'm afraid


[alternate 2nd verse:]

I'm so sorry, said the married man

I'd enjoy a couple of your kisses

But my wife aims like nobody can

Any time she throws she never misses

My wife went to a magic school to learn

She's a magician, never fear!

If she knew, I'm afraid she'd turn

My nose into an ear


[alternate 2nd chorus:]

I'd like to take you walking

But I'm afraid, pretty maid, I'm afraid

What's the good of talking

When I'm afraid, pretty maid, I'm afraid

My wife believes that a woman shouldn't talk

Only with a poker or a fork

Gee! I'd like to take you for a walk

But I'm afraid, pretty maid, I'm afraid


[alternate 1st verse (double version):]

How do, stranger, you're always on the go

Well, I must admit that I've been quite a stranger

Remember how we flirted years ago?

Yes, if we flirted now, we'd only flirt with danger!

So let's go where we can have a quiet talk

Oh, excuse me, I must be on the run

Now for old times sake let us take a walk

No, I said it can't be done

Why?


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Lyrics by Berlin Irving

  (I Wonder Why) You're Just In Love   Abie Sings An Irish Song (15 May 1913)   Abraham   After The Honeymoon (23 Aug 1911)   After You Get What You Want, You Don't Want It (19   Alexander And His Clarinet (19 May 1910)   All Alone (1924)   All By Myself (1921)   All Of My Life (1944)   Along Came Ruth (1 May 1914)   Always (1925)   Always Treat Her Like A Baby (24 Aug 1914)   American Eagles   An Old-Fashioned Tune Always Is New   Angels Of Mercy (1941)   Anna Liza's Wedding Day (15 Jan 1913)   Antonio (13 May 1912)   Any Bonds Today? 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Said She (31 Aug 1910)   That Dying Rag (18 Feb 1911)   That Kazzatsky Dance (19 Dec 1910)   That Mesmerizing Mendelssohn Tune (22 Dec 1909)   That Monkey Tune (25 Mar 1911)   That Mysterious Rag (31 Aug 1911)   That Opera Rag (28 Apr 1910)   That's How I Love You (13 May 1912)   That's My Idea Of Paradise (8 Oct 1914)   The Best Things Happen While You're Dancing   The Girl On The Magazine Cover   The Girl That I Marry   The Piccolino   The Song Is Ended (1927)   The Song Of The Metronome   The Yam   There's A Girl In Havana (19 Sep 1911)   There's No Business Like Show Business   They Say It's Wonderful   They're On Their Way To Mexico (2 May 1914)   They've Got Me Doing It Now (17 Jun 1913)   They've Got Me Doing It Now Medley (11 Jul 1913)   This Is A Great Country   This Is The Army   This Is The Army, Mister Jones   This Is The Life (21 Feb 1914)   This Time   This Year's Kisses   Top Hat, White Tie And Tails   Tra-La, La, La! 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