Welcome, one and all, to the amazing Dr. Pibb'snHe'll make a penis from a buttock and a woman from a ribnAnd if you've lost your follicles and wish that you were deadnHe'll take hairs from your testicles and sew them on your headnnWelcome, one and all, to the astounding Dr. Pibb'snHe'll convince you that you need to change, he's really rather glibnHe'll nip and tuck and fold and turn you into someone else,nBut rest assured the Doctor's had no surgery himselfnnHe turns your fingers into toesnHow he does it, no one knowsnJust close your eyes and strike a posenWhile Dr. Pibb works on your nose...nnWelcome, one and all, to the impressive Dr. Pibb'snHe'll reach inside his leather bag, it's always full of tricksnHe'll give you a tummy tuck so all the boys will want to fucknAnd he'll give you an anal bleach, so all the boys will want your peach...nnWelcome, one and all, to the breathtaking Dr. Pibb'snHe disarms you with a smile as he fills your head with fibsnYou'll have to take off all your clothes so he can touch your breastsnHe'll carve away a pound of flesh so you can look your bestnnHe'll offer you a pinch of hopenHe'll turn your body fat to soapnJust close your eyes and strike a posenWhile Dr. Pibb takes off your clothes...nnBeware, my son, the crooked surgeonnHe'll cut you like a piece of sturgeonnHe'll turn you back into a virgin,nYou'll wonder what he's really purging...nnHe'll pummel 'til you're black and bluenHe'll turn your thighs to yellow goonHe'll leave you with a scar or 'two'nYou won't be able to talk or chew...nnA burn victim turned up todaynBut she could not afford to paynYet Dr. Pibb, he would not swaynSo Dr. Pibb turned her away...
Dr. Pibb
The Malfated
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Lyrics by The Malfated
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