I used my silver spoon at birthnFor throwing meatballs at my nursenAnd much to my regretnI can't mingle with the social set.nnI used the wrong fork at the Stork in New York.nMy manners ain't fit for a goop.nI'm just a square in the social circle.nWho put that fly in my soup?nnI'd rather go out with a lout to aboutnThan sleep in a symphony hall.nI'm just a square in the social circle.nWho knocked my gum off that wall?nnWhen the utterly utter flows like butternI want to start pitching a curve.nWith a silly old blighter on a first nighternI feel like a pickled hors d'oeuvres,nNo verve. nnI never felt gay in a fancy beretnOr wear a babushka or bursk.nI'm just a square in the social circle.nFinger bowls hurt me the worst. nThey just don't quench my thirst!nnMrs. Vanderpuss with greet me with a fourteen karat shout,nMy dear you simply must come to my daughter's coming out!nHer daughter is a Frankenstein, a Dracula in mink.nWhen she comes out each stag will shout, nGadzooks, I need a drink!nnI'd dined and clubbed, nI've elbow rubbed from Yonkers to Cheyenne!nBoo to you bud;nTake your blue bloodnAnd stuck it in your fountain pen!nnI wanna brush all the flush in the gush.nI'd rather get left than be right.nI'm just a square in the social circle.nAnyone here wanna fight?nnAnd none of me fits with the wits at the Ritz.nI'd rather relax on a stool.nI'm just a square in the social circle.nAnyone wanna shoot pool?nnWhen a cookie with cabbage gets too savagenI'll wrestle him three out of four.nI would rather a sailor hop in my trailernAnd show me his nautical lore.nWhy sure!nnThe ladies will frills only fill me with chills.nThey're soft as a ball of chenile.nI'm just a square in the social circle.nI've got a muscle of steel.nAnyone here want to feel?nnI'm as square as a pear in a boutonniere.nFancy silks won't stay on. nI'm designed for rayon.nBut I just don't seem to care.nI'm a square!