1-900-LL Cool J
L.L. Cool J

{*phone rings twice*}
Yo.. Hello 1-900-LL Cool J?
Yeah whassup? Can you please bust a funky rhyme for me?
Yeah I can do that, check this one out honey

I motivate, accelerate
Devestate, and dominate
I don't smoke crack so I won't lose weight
Give me the {pussy} and the money and the mic and I'm straight
Go to a resteraunt, give me steak
Then cook my chicken with Shake'n'Bake
I leave all the preachin to Reverand Flake
How much money can one black man make? Huh
I'm what's known as a true dynamiter
I write rhymes fast without a typewriter
Go with the flow, but no, I'm not a biter
Can't compare a cock-a-roach and a spider
Hell, you might as well get a glass of punch
cause you're bitin my lyrics like a Nestle Crunch, huh
And bitin my rhymes ain't slick
I got your gold teeth marks all over my {*phone rings*}
Complications and aggravation
An unnecessary-sation
I'm like Sunkist, good vibrations
Your al-blum, sounds like a compilation
Cool out, grab a seat and listen..
cause I'ma start dismissin
sucker MC's who's out there frontin
Talkin all that yang, yo you smokin somethin
Shoulda treated me royal, yo he wasn't loyal
Now it's all about chaos and turmoil
.. gimme that microphone
I'ma show you the real meaning of the danger zone

{*phone rings*}
Yo.. Hello is this 1-900-LL Cool J?
Yeah whassup? Can you tell me what you do when you're coolin out?
Yo check this out

Now when I'm coolin out, no time for a granny
Just a fly girl in t-shirt and panties
Can LL {*censored*}? Man, can he?
I tell you what, give up the fanny
Cause on a bedroom tomb, J swift
Not too big, but nothin to play with
In addition, you on a mission
You need to audition for another position
Doin damage is a crew tradition
Name your next al-blum intermission
You're full of preservatives -- plus,
you're too conservative
I'm full of flair, savoir faire, debonairre
There's no competition, for this here
So don't waste your time and breath
I'm givin you all a big F
MC's I envelop..
.. as the song goes on, the rhyme develops
I'm asiatic, acrobatic, charismatic
You don't want no static
Anyway, I ain't havin it!
When I see the microphone -- I'm grabbin it
Plug it in and take charge
LL XL, Xtra-Large
KnowhatI'msayin? Peace

{*phone rings three times*}
Hello?
Hello whassup girl?
How you doin girl? I been tryin to call you all day
Word up I was talkin to LL he was kickin some mo' HYPED up rhymes to me
Word, I spoke to him today too - them rhymes WAS pumpin
Well not to cut you short but I gotta go cause my man is here
Alright
See-ya


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Lyrics by L.L. Cool J

  .357-Break It On Down   (NFA) No Frontin Allowed   #1 Fan   1 In The Morning   10 Million Stars   2 On (Remix)   4 3 2 1 (E Dub Remix)   4, 3, 2, 1   6 Minutes Of Pleasure   A Little Somethin'   After School   Ahh, Let's Get Ill   Ain't No Stoppin' This   Ain't Nobody   All Night Long   All We Got Left Is The Beat   Amazin'   Another Dollar   Apple Cobbler   Around The Way Girl   Back Seat   Back Where I Belong   Best Dress   Big Mama (Unconditional Love)   Big Ole Butt   Born To Love You   Buckin' Em Down   Can't Explain It   Can't Think   Candy   Change Your Ways   Cheesy Rat Blues   Clap Your Hands   Clockin' G's   Control Myself   Crossroads   Dangerous   Dear Yvette   Deepest Bluest (Shark's Fin)   Def Jam In The Motherland   Diggy Down   Doin' It   Doin' It Again (Remix)   Don't Be Too Late, Don't Come Too Soon   Down The Aisle   Droppin Em   Eat Em Up L Chill   Every Sip   Fa Ha   Farmers   Farmers Blvd. (Our Anthem)   Fast Peg   Father   Favorite Flavor   Feel The Beat   Freeze   Fuhgidabowdit   Funkadelic Relic   G.O.A.T.   Get Da Drop On Em   Get Down   Give Me Love   Go Cut Creator Go   God Bless   Going Back to Cali   Headsprung   Hello   Hey Lover   Hip Hop   Hit Factory Freestyle   Hollis to Hollywood   Homicide   Hot Hot Hot   How I'm Comin'   Hush   I Can Give You More   I Can't Live Without My Radio   I Need a Beat   I Need Love   I Shot Ya   I Shot Ya (remix)   I Want You   I'm Bad   I'm Gonna Get Her featuring R. Kelly   I'm That Type of Guy   I've Changed   Ill Bomb   Illegal Search   Imagine That   Intro   Intro(G.O.A.T)   It Gets No Rougher   It's LL and Santana   Jealous   Jinglin' Baby (Remixed But Still Jinglin')   Jingling Baby   Kanday   L.L. Cool J   Life As...   Lollipop   Loungin'   Loungin' (Who Do You Love Remix)   Luv u better   M.I.S.S. (Bonus Track)   Make It Hot   Mama Said Knock You Out   Milky Cereal   Mirror Mirror   Move Somethin'   Mr. Good Bar   Mr. Smith   My Rhyme Ain't Done   Niggy Nuts   Nitro   No Airplay   Nobody Can Freak You   One Shot at Love   Ooh Wee   Papa Luv It a.k.a Poppa Luv it   Paradise   Phenomenon   Pink Cookies in a Plastic Bag   Preserve The Sexy   Queens Is   Rasta Imposter   Rock the Bells   Rub My Back   Say What   Shake It Baby   Skit   Smokin', Dopin'   So Sick   Soul Suvivor   Stand By Your Man   Starsky & Hutch   Starsky & Hutch   Straight From Queens   Take It Off   That's A Lie   The Boomin' System   The Breakthrough   The Bristol Hotel   The Do Wop   The G.O.A.T.   The Intro (Skit)   The Power Of God   The Ripper Strikes Back   This Is Us   Throw Ya L's Up   To Da Break Of Dawn   Two Different Worlds   U Can't Fuck With Me   U Should   Wanna Get Paid   Why Do You Think They Call It Dope?   You And Me   You Can't dance   You'll Rock   You're My Heart

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