(We hear a large group of people standing in line waiting to see the movie, discussing their Star Wars merchandise, and for some reason Beavis is there, saying weird things…)
Beavis: Ai'aight? Ai'aight? Ai'aight? I am ai'aight if you are ai'aight. Ai'aight? Ai'aight? I'd be better, if I get some of that bunghole. Ai'aight? Ai'aight? Yeah! Yeah! Ai'aight? Ai'aight? Ai'aight?
Flavor:
Sixteen years and, fans are cheerin'. Prophecizin', merchandizin'. Buggin, Funnin', Twelve-O-One and the great Luke Ski says start the friggin' movie!
Luke:
4, 5, 6, 1!
Chuck:
It's a Star Wars prequel! Lucas, no equal.
He put out some serial non-sequential sequels!
Two Jedi were sent to the blockade, and resume the tradin'.
But it's run by the Sith, no longer a myth.
Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan stowaway, marathon, so run, forest, run!
Viceroy stinks! (MEESA JAR JAR BINKS!)
An Urkel frog man, who rarely thinks.
He took 'em down to Gunga. Underwater wonder.
The city's undersea, so they'll never need a plumber.
A shortcut, planet core, GODZILLA!
They splash through to Naboo, guess what's up?
The Queen is annoyed, got captured by a droid.
The Jedi once deployed made the robots null and void.
R2-D2 will set the course.
If you're not too hoarse, shout You got to use the force!
Flavor & S1Ws:
Use the force, use the force, use the force, Ben!
Use the force, use the force, you gotta use the force!
Use the force, use the force, use the force, Luke!
Use the force, use the force, you gotta use the force!
Chuck:
Once again back on Tattooine.
Looking for parts to save the flaming Queen.
Mind tricks! Mind tricks! Watto, no!
The ship and the slave are the stakes to wage on the race.
So let the race begin!
Young Anakin's pod tethered to two jumbo jet engines.
Sandpeople on the left (UAAH!)
And Jawas on the right (UTEENI!)
Sebulba saw the light of Wiley Coyote's plight.
He freed Ani Skywalker. Darth Maul, stalker.
Left C3PO, he's still naked though.
Couruscant is the place with no parking space,
And the Senate's in freeze with all the E.T.s.
They're all in Jeopardy, like all the audiences guessin'.
They know the answer, but they're dying to find out the question.
But no quarrelin' about the moral. What it is, of course? Ha!
You got to use the force!
Flavor:
Help me, Obi-Wan! Help me, Obi-Wan! You're my only hope, help me Obi-Wan!
Luke:
Louder!
Flavor:
Help me, Obi-Wan! Help me, Obi-Wan! You're my only hope, help me Obi-Wan!
Flavor & S1Ws:
Use the force, use the force, use the force, Ben!
Use the force, use the force, you gotta use the force!
Use the force, use the force, use the force, Luke!
Use the force, use the force, you gotta use the force!
Chuck:
And when the sum of Gungan's army is done,
And Darth Maul's winning against Qui and Obi-Wan,
And Anakin's in space fightin' nemesis,
Just say I HAVE A BAAAD FEELING ABOUT THIS!
Yeah, bad feeling.
Flavor:
Bad feeling, damn right! My Anakin is a bad mother-
Blasted Bill Putt:
Shut yo mouth!
Flavor:
But I'm talking about Skywalker! He's the man!
Chuck:
Hey Yoda, say it once for the chosen one!
Yoda, Flavor & S1Ws:
Use the force, use the force, use the force, Ben!
Use the force, use the force, you gotta use the force!
Use the force, use the force, use the force, Luke!
Use the force, use the force, you gotta use the force!
Chuck:
The council of Jedi led by Mace Windu and Yoda told Ani,
Yoda:
I sense much fear in you.
Chuck:
Midichloriens, up the wazoola,
So he's got more force than George Lucas got moolah.
Meanwhile, Amidala, fed up with the Senate.
Though taboo, to Naboo, to reclaim her lost power.
Darth Maul arrives, red and yellow eyes.
Insane clown, horniest guy in town.
His double light sabre's got Jackie Chan flavor.
He impaled Qui-Gon, which enraged Obi-Wan.
And when the fight ended Obi could plainly see
That now Maul's not half the man he used to be.
Ani wacked the station, Gungans elation.
Yay for Amidala! Who'll rule Anakin's power?
The movie's through. What to do?
Line up for Episode Two! Ha!
Flavor:
Yeeeaaah!
Chuck:
You got to use the force!
Flavor & S1Ws:
Use the force, use the force, use the force, Ben!
Use the force, use the force, you gotta use the force!
Use the force, use the force, use the force, Luke!
Use the force, use the force, you gotta use the force!
Yoda, Flavor & S1Ws:
Use the force, use the force, use the force, Ben!
Use the force, use the force, you gotta use the force!
Use the force, use the force, use the force, Luke!
Use the force, use the force, you gotta use the force!
Yoda:
Yeeeeaah, boyeeee! Hoo hoo hoo hoo…
Flavor & S1Ws:
Use the force, use the force, use the force, Ben!
Use the force, use the force, you gotta use the force!
Use the force, use the force, use the force, Luke!
(faded out)
Use The Force
The Great Luke Ski
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Lyrics by The Great Luke Ski
88 Lines About 44 Simpsons A Man Named Jayne All I Wanna Do Is Shoot Some Guns Baby Got Brak Back One Week To The Future Bad Bad Boba Fett Bart Simp Sun Battlestar Rhapsody Bender Roboto Black Friday Born To Lose Bring The Joy Christmas In Hogwarts Dementia Revolution Fanboy Fantastic Voyager Frat Boys Fruit Loops Funny Man Geeks of the Industry God Bless Stephen Colbert Gory Gory Hallelujah Gowron Said Knock You Out Gump Hill House Party At Arkham Asylum Humpa Hound I Am A Vamp Of Constant Sorrow I Kissed A Squirrel In The Line Again Insane and the Brain It Takes Who Jello Shots Jon Archer Keanu Man Kenny Was A Kid From South Park KFC Bitch KramerCostanza MC Freberg Murder Was The Play My Name Is Fred Mystery Science Theatre Picture Show No Sleep Til Babylon Pamela Peter Parker Quite A Man For An Al Fan Ranma Saotome Resistance Rocky Horror Snoopy The Dogg Spam (Let The Pork Be Pork) Spock Star Star Wars Trilogy Homesick Blues Stealing Like a Hobbit Thank Q The Doctor and William The Geeks Come Out At Night The Great Luke Ski The Spongy Dance Theme From Ash Titanic Monday Too Much Stuff Trekkie Case Vader Boy Viva Las Nagus Wannabe A Slayer Who Let The Frog Out? Wilbur Robinson Y.O.D.A. You Might Be A Trekkie
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