Spock Star
The Great Luke Ski

My name is Zachary Quinto, I'm an actor for hire,

But you probably know me as that villain Sylar,

A psychic psycho on the hottest show on T.V.

Spock: Save the cheerleader, save the world.

Was in my dressing room, just flippin' through the stations,

When I got a phone call from J.J. Abrams.

He told me he had a brand new old role for me.

Spock: Did you get Lost?

I took a, a walk down where the sun is hot.

Down Melrose Ave to the Paramount Lot,

To a Spaceship set labeled with the letters N-C-C

Spock: One seven, zero one.

After a quick audition from this hip young actor,

They could see I was so much better than Shatner,

Not to mention my resemblance to a twenty-something Leonard Ni-moy.

Spock: Highly logical.

I'm gonna trade this life for adoration for years.

Had 'em cut my hair and change my ears.


So now I'm just gonna be a big Spock star,

With my flawless logic, I'll boldly go far.

My ears will be pointy, and my blood will be green.

I'll say 'fascinating', and I'll steal every scene.

And I'll, mind meld, if they start to flinch,

I'll just take 'em out quick with a fast neck pinch.

James T. Kirk thinks it's all about him, but we know

Who was everyone's favorite Vulcan guy on the show.

And I'll, hey hey, I'm gonna be a Spock star.

Hey hey, I wanna be a Spock star.


I wanna be great like Kirk without the human hassles.

He asked Bones if he could set him up with Nurse Chapel.

Bones: Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not an escort service maitre'de!

Spock: Is that a tribble in your pants, Jim?

Uhura screens my calls from Han and Chewbacca.

I'll take Chekov's stash of some of that Russian Vodka.

I'll send Sulu and Kumar to go get some White Castle for me.

Spock: What would Neil Patrick Harris do?

Scotty's knockin' back the scotch and feelin' no pain,

Cause he thinks he's fighting zombies. Scotty: Off the frakkin' chain!


So now I'm just gonna be a big Spock star,

With my flawless logic, I'll boldly go far.

My ears will be pointy, and my blood will be green.

I'll say 'fascinating', and I'll steal every scene.

And I'll, mind meld, if they start to flinch,

I'll just take 'em out quick with a fast neck pinch.

James T. Kirk thinks it's all about him, but we know

Who was everyone's favorite Vulcan guy on the show.

And I'll, pick up chicks in a Ferengi bar.

Some Orion Slave Girl, when I'm having pon farr.

From in my quarters you would see how

The girls desperately cling on to the starboard bough.

Orion slave girl: Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Spock it to me!

Hey hey, I'm gonna be a Spock star.


They're gonna write the scripts however they want to.

Change the universe, like they have the power of Q.

Gonna retcon every single thing you know,

Just like in Transformers and G.I. Joe. Joe: YO JOE!


So now I'm just gonna be a big Spock star,

With my flawless logic, I'll boldly go far.

My ears will be pointy, and my blood will be green.

I'll say 'fascinating', and I'll steal every scene.

And I'll, mind meld, if they start to flinch,

I'll just take 'em out quick with a fast neck pinch.

James T. Kirk thinks it's all about him, but we know

Who was everyone's favorite Vulcan guy on the show.

And just, screw all the fans of Deep Space Nine

Who've been waiting ten years for Sisko's time

To be on the big screen, cause they think they'll have a hit.

With the same old forty-something-year-old bullsh-

[SFX: Torpedo firing, explosion]

Hey hey, I'm gonna be a Spock star.

Hey hey, I'm gonna be a Spock star.

Live long and prosper! [SFX: concert crowd cheering]


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Lyrics by The Great Luke Ski

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