Twenty-Four Hour Garage People
Half Man Half Biscuit

I fancy I’ll open a stationer’s
Stock quaint notepads for weekend pagans
While you were out at the Rollright Stones
I came and set fire to your shed.

‘Coz you probably work at an all-night garage
You probably work at an all-night garage
You probably work at an all-night garage
With talk radio on.

And you curse my soul if I don’t want petrol
Curse my soul ‘coz I don’t want petrol
I only came down for a tube of Pringles
Sour Cream and Chives.

And because you’ve got to get up off your fat arse to go and get my crisps
And you’ve gotta go round the counter and it’s really “inconvenient”,
And when you come back you toss them into that sliding metal tray device thing that separates us and you say “One pound thirty five.”
As opposed to “That’ll be one pound thirty-five please, sir.”
This is of course done to annoy me, but has the opposite effect of amusing me no end, because suddenly I’ve got other things to buy

I’ll ‘ave two scotch eggs and a jar of marmite
Two scotch eggs and a jar of marmite
Two scotch eggs and a jar of marmite
What sandwiches have you got?

Well now you become quite irate
And you’re voice becomes louder
And you start to sound like Leadbelly at the depot
“I got Ham, I got Cheese, I got Chicken, I got Beef, I got Tuna Sweetcorn, I’ve got Tuna Sweetcorn”.

I’ll ‘ave… ten kit-kats and a motoring atlas
Ten kit-kats and a motoring atlas
Ten kit-kats and a motoring atlas
And a blue CD on the Hallmark label, that’s sure to be good.

Oh, he went to play golf on a Sunday morning,
Just a mile and a half from town.
His head was found on the driving range,
And his body’s never been found.


  Purchase "Twenty-Four Hour Garage People"   Purchase Entire Album   Email Video to Friends   Play Youtube "Twenty-Four Hour Garage People" Video   Play Spotify "Twenty-Four Hour Garage People" Song   View Wikipedia "Twenty-Four Hour Garage People" Entry   Receive Emails for Future Half Man Half Biscuit Lyrics

Email:

  Link to "Twenty-Four Hour Garage People"   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Lyrics For You

Loading...

Lyrics by Half Man Half Biscuit

Related Songs

  24 hour party people - Happy Mondays  Twenty-four Hour Night - Eddie Cochran  Twenty-Four, Seven - Trace Adkins  Twenty-Four Seven - Trace Adkins  Twenty Four Hour Dawn - Blind Idiot God   TWENTY FOUR SEVEN - Turner Tina  Twenty Four Seven - Tina Turner  Garageland - Clash  I Can't Be Bothered - Miranda Lambert  I Can't Be Bothered - Miranda Lambert  Garageland - The Clash  Dragonfly - Ziggy Marley  Dragonfly [Live] [Live][*] - Ziggy Marley  Arizona Waiting - Dinosaur Pile-Up  Twenty Four Hour Fever Watch - Ceremony  Twenty Four Hours - Athlete  Twenty - Four - Jandek  Twenty Four - Balance And Composure  Twenty Four - Mudhoney  Twenty-Four - Switchfoot  FBI - Brotha Lynch Hung  Twenty Four Seven - Blatt Melanie  Twenty Four Seven - All Saints  Time Is A Bandit - Ricky Skaggs  TwentyFourSeven (Artful Dodger) (feat. Melanie Bla...  Where Can You Be - Jimmy Reed  Where Can You Be - Jimmy \rReed  Waiting - Against Grace  Hermann Loves Pauline [DVD] - Super Furry Animals  Hermann Loves Pauline - Super Furry Animals  Schwinn Twenty-four - Kinky Friedman  Johny Hit and Run Paulene - X  Matthew Twenty-Four (Is Knocking at the Door)...  Matthew Twenty-Four (Is Knocking At The Door)...  24-24 - Cabaret Voltaire  Where I'm Anymore - Grandaddy  1724 - Soho Dolls  Red, White & Pink Slip Blues - Hank Williams Jr.  At 24 - Skydiggers  24 - Switchfoot  Life Lessons Learned The Hard Way...  Sixty Seconds Got Together - The Mills Brothers  Noise Annoys - The Exploited  Noise Annoys - Exploited  24/7 - Anouk Slootmans  Townes' Blues - Cowboy Junkies  Come Around And See Me - The Innocence Mission  Iddy Biddy - The Used  Red, White & Pink Slip Blues - Hank Williams, Jr.  Stepping Out - Fall  Down The Charts - Krs-One  107 Steps - Bjork featuring Siobhan Fallon  Superfast Jellyfish - Gorillaz  Twenty-Four Hours - Thelonious Monster  Twenty Four Hours - Mogwai  Twenty-Four Years - Claire Voyant  Twenty Four Hours - Joy Division  Twenty Four Hours - Karma to Burn  Matthew Twenty-Four - George Jones  Twenty Four Hours - Muddy Waters  Twenty Four Hours - Swans  Twenty Four Seven - Artful Dodger  Twenty Four Seven - Artful Dodger F/  Twenty-Four Hours - Joy Division  Twenty-Four Hours - Eddie Boyd  107 Steps - Björk  107 Steps - Bj\u00f6rk  Joe's Garage - Frank Zappa  Joe's Garage - Frank Zappa  24-7 - Red Money  Twenty Five Eight (feat Xavier White)...  Twenty Four of Twenty Five - Boys Life  Always - Guy Lombardo  Iris - Breeders, The  BILLY THE KID - Ry Cooder  Red, White & Pink-Slip Blues - Hank Williams, Jr.  Madness [*] - Madness  Madness (Is all In The Mind) - Madness  Twenty-Four Hours a Day - The Partridge Family  Twenty-Four Hours of Sunshine...  We Burn Houses - Socratic  The Fireman - Various Artists  She Was Twenty Five - And I Was 54...  Iris - Breeders  Dont Be Mad - Christina Milian  AM To PM - Christina Milian  Almost Love (24/7) - Jessica Jarrell  Twenty-Two - Burns Out Bright  6 - Cloud Cult  I Wanna Be Sedated (Live) - Ramones  25 or 6 to 4 [#][*] - Chicago  25 or 6 to 4 - Chicago  Happy Birthday / Three - Cure  Happy Birthday \/ Three - The Cure  Almost Love 24/7 - Jessica Jarrell  Almost Love (24/7) [*] - Jessica Jarrell  Crazy Once You Know How - Janis Joplin  Easy Once You Know How - Janis Joplin  Olde English - Defari  Olde English - Dilated Peoples  AM to PM - Various Artists  I Wanna Be Sedated - Ramones  I Wanna Be Sedated - New Found Glory  The Spy in the Cab - Bauhaus  Cruise Ship - Gardens and Villa  Spy In The Cab - Bauhaus  The Fireman - George Strait  Like 24 (6 + 1 = 3) - Joy Zipper  Auto Chip 2014-2016 - Fall  The Twenty-Fourth Hour - Ray Price  Like a Young Colt - Johnny Cash  Happy Bithday Simon - The Cure  24K Magic - Kidz Bop Kids  25 O'clock - XTC  All - Kathryn Williams  I've Got To Have Some Lovin' Now (4 Mar 1912)...  Billy The Kid - Marty Robbins  Trial Before Pilate (Including The 39 Lashes)...  Calloway Boogie - Cab Calloway  The Calloway Boogie - Cab Calloway  Calloway Boogie - Big Bad Voodoo Daddy  25 Or 6 To 4 (Robert Lamm And James Pankow)...  25 Or 6 To 4 [Quadrophonic Mix] - Chicago  I Wanna Be Sedated - Shonen Knife  I Wanna Be Sedated - Kirsty Maccoll  24 - Gin Wigmore  I Wanna Be Sedated - The Ramones  Sunny Days - Brandy  Johnny B. Goode \/ Road Runner - Sex Pistols  Horsepower [DVD] - Chris LeDoux  T.T.U - roscoe dash  I Wanna Be Sedated - Offspring  I Want To Be Sedated - The Ramones  Garageland - Bon Jovi & Jon Bon Jovi  24 Hours Ago - Savatage  24 Hours - Tom Jones  Fantastic 6 - Alphabeat  24 Hrs. Ago - Savatage  24 Hours Ago [Live] - Savatage  Always - The Ink Spots  He Will Be There For You - 4 Him  He Will Be There For You - 4him  Always - Irving Berlin  Tea For One - Led Zeppelin  Picture This [DVD] - Blondie  Picture This - Blondie  Living Next Door to Alice - Daniel O'Donnell  Living Next Door to Alice [DVD] - Daniel O'Donnell  Living Next Door to Alice [Live][*]...  TWENTY-FOUR HOURS A DAY - The Simpsons  I Wanna Be Sedated - Counting Crows  Got Your Number - Serena Ryder  Garageland [#] - Bon Jovi  Garageland - Bon Jovi  Serpentine - Kate Havnevik  Twenty-One - Corey Smith  Close to You - w-inds  Danville Girl - Woody Guthrie  Danville Girl, No. 2 - Woody Guthrie  Danville Girl - Ramblin' Jack Elliott  Danville Girl - Pete Seeger  Danville Girl [#] - Ramblin' Jack Elliott  Danville Girl - Joel Rafael  Just Signs - Omnium Gatherum  Living Next Door to Alice - Chron Gen  Living Next Door To Alice - Smokie  Even Adam Kevin Helen - Into It. Over It.  Threadneedle Street - Blur  Rapture (K-klassic Radio Mix) - Blondie  Rapture (K-klassic Mix) - Blondie  Rapture (K-klass Remix) - Blondie  Rapture (Remix) - Blondie  Twenty-Five Hour Day - Luckie Strike  Same Streets - Bombshell Rocks  Picture This (Live in Philadelphia 1978) - Blondie  Twenty Four Hours A Day - The Simpsons  Who the Fuck Is Alice? - Smokie  Alice (Who the X Is Alice?) (Living Next Door to A...  24-7 - Sister Sin  Deamon Dance (7,405,926) - Yngwie Malmsteen  Demon Dance - Yngwie Malmsteen  24/7 - U. D. O.  Deamon Dance - Yngwie Malmsteen  Jealousy - Stereophonics  Twenty Four Hours [Live] - Joy Division  TWENTY FOUR MINUS EIGHTEEN - Before Braille  Four And Twenty Hours - Nana Mouskouri  Average Guy - Mustard Plug  Take Me Down - Ellis Paul  Blues Power (Live) - Eric Clapton  24-Hour Store - Handsome Family  Poor Boy - Woody Guthrie  Green to Gone - Snowblink  To My Ballerz (Collabo) - Nasty Boy Klick  I Wanna Be Sedated - Operation Ivy  People Power - Cornershop  All Day Long I Dream About Sex [Exclusive]...  All Day Long I Dream About Sex Lyrics...  All Day Long I Dream About Sex - J.C. Chasez  24 - Maaya Sakamoto