Well I got in my car and went down to the barnTo relax from a full workin' daynAnd while drinkin' my beer, I happened to hearnThis New York banker type saynnThat this country's all wrong and that we don't belongnIn affairs that are so far awaynAnd so I pushed back my chairnAnd I stood up right therenAnd made sure the whole bar heard me saynnI'm Totally Gay for AmericanI'm Totally Gay for the US of A nFrom the east to the westnTo the North to SouthnnI'd gladly bend down and take Florida in my mouth.nI'd tongue kiss Mount RushmorenAnd drop my pants to my waistnThen take the Washington Monument all the way to it's basennThere ain't a lot of things that make me feel this waynBut this country of minenMakes me totally gaynnNow I know things ain't right nIt's on the news every nightnAnd in the papers almost everydaynI wanna hug Uncle Sam nCaress his hair with my hand nAnd let him know that everything is okaynnMaybe give him a quick peck at the nape of his necknAnd rub his shoulders 'til his cares went awaynTrace the curves of his thighs nThen look into his eyes and see if he wants to go 'Hit the Hay'nnCause I'm Totally Gay for AmericanI'm Totally Gay for the US of A nI know we could never get marriednBut he'd never ask me anywaynCause it would undermine the familynI know that's what he'd saynBut we could keep it a secret nAnd continue on that waynAnd I'd be faithful and loyal 'til he threw me awaynnThere ain't a lot of things that make me feel this waynBut this country of minenMakes me totally gay