They Ain't Makin' Jews LiKe Jesus Anymore
Kinky Friedman

(Kinky Friedman)

Well, a redneck nerd in a bowling shirt was a-guzzlin€™ Lone Star beer
Talking religion and-uh politics for all the world to hear.
€œThey oughta send you back to Russia, boy, or New York City one
You just want to doodle a Christian girl and you killed God€™s only son.€?

I said, €œHas it occurred to you, you nerd, that that€™s not very nice,
We Jews believe it was Santa Claus that killed Jesus Christ.€?
€œYou know, you don€™t look Jewish,€? he said, €œnear as I could figger
I had you lamped for a slightly anemic, well-dressed country nigger.€œ

No, they ain€™t makin€™ Jews like Jesus anymore,
They don€™t turn the other cheek the way they done before.
He started in to shoutin€™ and a-spittin€™ on the floor,
€œLord, they ain€™t makin€™ Jews like Jesus anymore.€?

He says, €œI ain€™t a racist but Aristitle Onassis is one Greek we don€™t need
And them niggers, Jews and Sigma Nus, all they ever do is breed.
And wops €˜n micks €˜n slopes €˜n spics €˜n spooks are on my list
And there€™s one little hebe from the heart of Texas € is there anyone I missed ? €?

Well, I hits him with everything I had right square between the eyes.
I says, €œI€™m gonna gitcha, you son of a bitch ya, for spoutin€™ that pack of lies.
If there€™s one thing I can€™t abide, it€™s an ethnocentric racist;
Now you take back that thing you said €˜bout Aristitle Onassis.€?

No, they ain€™t makin€™ Jews like Jesus anymore,
We don€™t turn the other cheek the way we done before.
You could hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
€œLord, they sho€™ ain€™t makin€™ Jews like Jesus anymore!€?
All right!

No, they ain€™t makin€™ Jews like Jesus anymore,
We don€™t turn the other cheek the way they done before.
You hear that honky holler as he hit that hardwood floor
Lord, they ain€™t makin€™ Jews like Jesus anymore.

Everybody!
They ain€™t makin€™ Jews like Jesus anymore,
They ain€™t makin€™ carpenters who know what nails are for.
Well, the whole damn place was singin€™ as I strolled right out the door
€œLord, they ain€™t makin€™ Jews like Jesus anymore!€?

No, we ain€™t makin€™ Jews like Jesus anymore,
We don€™t turn the other cheek the way they done before.
Well, the whole damn place was singin€™ as I strolled right out the door
€œLord, they ain€™t makin€™ Jews like Jesus anymore!€?


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Lyrics by Kinky Friedman

  Ahab The Arab   Amelia Earhart's Last Fligh   Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way ?   Asshole from El Paso   Autograph   Ballad of Charles Whitman   Ballad of Ira Hayes   Bananas And Cream   Before All Hell Breaks Loose   Carrying The Torch   Catfish   Cotton-Eyed Joe   Dear Abbie   Father Let Thy Blessings   Flyin' Down the Freeway   Get Your Biscuits in the Oven and Your Buns in the...   Good-Hearted Woman   High on Jesus   Highway Caf   Hobo's Lullaby   Homo Erectus   Jambalaya (On The Bayou)   Keep On The Sunnyside   Kinky   Lady Yesterday   Live Forever   London Homesick Blues   Lover Please   Luckenbach, Texas (Back To The Basics Of Love)   Mama, Baby, Mama Let Me Jump In Your Pajamas   Marilyn & Joe   Marilyn And Joe   Men's Room, L.A.   Miss Nickelodeon   Nashville Casualty And Life   Nashville Casualty and Life [#]   Okie From Muskogee   Ol' Ben Lucas   Old Shep   People Who Read People Magazine   Popeye The Sailor Man   Pretty Boy Floyd   Put Another Log On The Fire   Ramblin' Boy   Rapid City, South Dakota   Ride 'em Jewboy   Rock And Roll Across The USA   Rollin' In My Sweet Baby's Arms   Schwinn Twenty-four   Shield Of Abraham   Silver Eagle Express   Skatin' On Thin Ice   Sold American   Somethin' s Wrong With The Beaver   The Ballad of Charles Whitman   The Ballad Of Ira Hayes   The Boogie Man   The Gospel Accordin' To John   The Take-It-Easy Trailer Park   The Tramp On The Street   Top Ten Commandments   Twinkle   Twirl   Up Against The Wall Redneck Mother   Wabash Cannonball   Waitret, Please, Waitret   We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to You   Western Union Wire   Wheels   When the Lord Closes the Door (He Opens a Little W...   Why Do You Bob Your Nose, Girl ? (Second Hand Nose...   Wild Man From Borneo

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