A customer!?nnWait! Where's your rush? Where's your hurry?nYou gave me such a fright,nI thought you was a ghost,nHave a minute, can't you sit! Sit you down, sit!nAll I meant is that I haven't seen a customer in weeks,nDid you come in for a pie sir?nDo forgive me if me head's a little vague.n-What was that?nBut you'd think we had the plague,nBy the way the people keep avoiding,n-No you don't,nHeaven knows I try sir,nBut there's no one even comes in to inhale,nRight you was, would you like a drop of ale?nnMind you I can hardly blame them,nThese are probably the worst pies in London...nI know why nobody cares to take themnI should know, I make 'em,nBut good? no..nThe worst pies in London...nEven that's polite,nThe worst pies in London,nIf you dare to take a bite......nIs that just disgusting?nYou'll have to concede it,nIt's nothing but crusting,nHere drink this, you'll need it,nThe worst pies in London,nnAnd no wonder with the price of meat,nWhat it is, when you get it,nNever thought I'd live to see the day,nMen'd think it was a treat finding poor animals what are dying in the street,nnMrs. Mooney has a pie shop,nDoes her business but I noticed something weird,nLately all her neighbours cats have disappeared,nHave to hand it to her, what I calls enterprise, poppin' pussys into pies,nWouldn't do in my shop,nJust the thought of it's enough to make you sick,nAnd I'm tellin' you them pussy cats is quick,nnNo denying times is hard sir,nEven harder then the worst pies in London,nOnly lard and nothing more,nIs that just revolting?nAll greasy and gritty,nIt looks like it's molting,nAnd tastes like...nWell pity a woman alone, with limited wind and the worst pies in London,nAh sir,nTimes is hard,nTimes is hard.n