LyricMeaning

The Worst Pies In London
Angela Lansbury

Wait, where's your rush? Where's your hurry?

You gave me such a fright

I thought you was a ghost

Have a minute, can't you sit, sit you down, sit


All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer in weeks

Did you come in for a pie, sir?

Do forgive me if me head's a little vague

What was that?


But you'd think we had the plague

By the way the people keep avoiding

No you don't, heaven knows I try, sir

But there's no one even comes in to inhale

Right you was, would you like a drop of Ale?


Mind you, I can hardly blame them

These are probably the worst pies in London

I know why nobody cares to take them

I should know, I make 'em


The worst pies in London, even that's polite

The worst pies in London

If you dare to take a bite

Is that just disgusting?


You'll have to concede it

It's nothing but crusting

Her drink this, you'll need it

The worst pies in London


And no wonder with the price of meat

What it is, when you get it

Never thought I'd live to see the day

Men'd think it was a trick, finding poor animals

What are dying in the street


Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop

Does her business but I noticed something weird

Lately all her neighbors cats have disappeared

Have to hand it to her, what I calls enterprise

Poppin' pussys into pies


Wouldn't do in my shop

Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick

And I'm tellin' you them pussy cats is quick


No denying times is hard, sir

Even harder then the worst pies in London

Only lard and nothing more

Is that just revolting?


All greasy and gritty

It looks like it's molting

And tastes like

Well pity a woman alone

With limited wind and the worst pies in London


Ah, sir

Times is hard

Times is hard


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Lyrics by Angela Lansbury

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