In a cafe
On the Champs-Élysées
I saw a girl the other day
I was beguiled...Till i saw her smile!
It was a gash across her face!
Not long ago she found that she was alone
So she wandered into a vaudeville show
She should have known it's be bad
She saw the name that it had: The Straight Razor Cabaret
The first act was a stripper
And the host looked like Jack the Ripper
But the audience was dreary
And so he slashed them smiles from ear to ear
He used a straight-razor
Cause he's a face raper
And there's nothing he hates more than a stick in the mud
If he tells a joke you better laugh until you choke!
It's the Straight Razor Cabaret!
When i flew down to Cambden town
I saw a man reading the Bible
I won't in haste describe his face
For i might be sued for lible!
Not long ago he found that he was alone
So he wandered into a vaudeville show
He should have known he'd be mamed when he saw what it was named:
The straight razor cabaret
While the strumptet stroked some Donkeys
The host juggled five dead monkeys
But the audience were snobs
So he took a knife right to their chops
He used a straight-razor
Cause he's a face raper
And there's nothing he hates more than a stick in the mud
If he does a trick you better laugh until you're sick!
It's the Straight Razor Cabaret!
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala
He used a straight-razor
Cause he's a face raper
And there's nothing he hates more than a stick in the mud
If he pulls a gaffe you bloody fucking laugh!
It's the Straight Razor Cabaret!
It's the Straight Razor Cabaret!
It's the Straight Razor Caba-
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala
Everybody!
Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala
It's the Straight Razor Cabaret!
It's the Straight Razor Cabaret!
The Straight-Razor Cabaret
Aurelio Voltaire
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Lyrics by Aurelio Voltaire
Accordion Player All Women Are Crazy Brains! (From The Grim Adventures of Billy and Man... Cannibal Buffet (Kid's version) Cathouse Tragedy Coin Operated Goi Crusade (Kid’s version) Day of the Dead (AdventureQuest Worlds version) Day of the Dead (Kid’s version) Death Death (Devil, Devil, Evil, Evil Song) Don't Go By the River Fear and Anguish Goodnight Demonslayer (Original version) Happy Birthday (My Olde Friend) Hate Lives in a Small Town Innocent Land of the Dead (from The Grim Adventures of Bill... Normal for a Man Oh Lord (Wake the Dead) On the Road Riding a Black Unicorn... Robber Baron Stakes and Torches Stubborn as a Mule Tempest (AdventureQuest Worlds version) The Beast of Pirate's Bay The Beast of Pirate’s Bay (AdventureQuest Worlds... The Beast of Pirate’s Bay (Original version) The Churchyard The Dirtiest Song That Ain't The Industrial Revolution (And How It Ruined My Li... The Mechanical Girl This Sea This Ship's Going Down This Ship's Going Down (AdventureQuest Worlds vers... To the Bottom of the Sea To the Bottom of the Sea (AdventureQuest Worlds ve... Vampire Club (Twilight version) When the Circus Came to Town When You're Dead When You’re Evil (from the Deady mini-game by Ar... You Married a Fool
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