The Ladies' Basic Freedom Polka
Jake Thackray

The ladies of the neighbourhood are fighting the fight for womanhoodnby taking what they feel to be fundamental libertiesnnThe sufferagettes are at it againnwith a low and underhand stratagemnleading the fight for womanly rightsnby pinching the bottoms of gentlemennnThe ladies of the neighbourhood fighting the fight for womanhoodnby taking what they feel to be fundamental libertiesnnGentlemen, don't stroll alone;nbeware those women, they're widely knownnfor their marksmanship their lobster gripnthey're quick to strike and they strike to the bonennThe ladies of the neighbourhood, fighting the fight for womanhoodnby taking what they feel to be fundamental libertiesnnThey advance libertarian viewsnwith the speed of incontinent kangaroosnwith a vampire's wail their hungry nailsnwill sink into your bulging troos'nnThe ladies of the neighbourhood, fighting the fight for womanhoodnby taking what they f-feel to be fundamental libertiesnnThey've been where no women have been beforenUp lord mayor's petticoats, barrister's drawersnthey're known to have poked up a horse guard's cloaknand many a butcher's pinnaforennThe ladies of the neighbourhood, fighting the fight for womanhoodnby taking what they feel to be fundamental libertiesnnYour chef isn't safe when they break loosenIn his kitchen he'll be brutally seducednA yelp, a scream, a clatter of tureensnand lo, and behold, your cook is goosednnThe ladies of the neighbourhood, fighting the fight for womanhoodnby taking what they feel to be fundamental libertiesnnThey had a vicar with a fearful tweaknplucking at his cassock with animal shrieksnwith a priestly wince he stuck to his principlesnand turned the other cheeknnThe ladies of the neighbourhood, fighting the fight for womanhoodnby taking what they feel to be fu-fundamental liberties

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Lyrics by Jake Thackray

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