Once upon a time in the days of yore.nWhen the people lived fresh out of legend and folk lorenThere was an old pirate who followed a vile slangnHad a bird perched on him, Swashbuckler his name.nPeg leg navigated starboard to portnBy the nautical sign of night and the harbor is yours.nYou should tell him …………your gold.nThat is unless he locked in altercation with Davey J-J-J-Jones.nnLike walk plank, mmmm the shark tank.nMaroon the millionaires. Consume the souvenirs.nAnd while the shiny spoils pile higher every yearnHe was suffocating slow in the box of a buccaneer.nTen summers prior on a night like thisnCrows nest saw something and pointed the boats west.nSword blew him a kiss. And when he focused seen the face of annAngel upon the body of a F-F-F-Fish.nnWhat the heck! Frazzled. His telescope shattered. Gathered himself.n n* * *nComplimentarynThe Harbor Is YoursnRingtone!n* * *nnDownload Aesop Rock RingtonesnnnnnShe was ghost. He was down the rope ladder to deck.nCircled the vessel 360 swiftly.nFound nothing in the water but salt, piss, and whiskey.nYAR, Heckled by the Swabies at the bar.nHe’ll be the laughing stock of the Barbary Coast War.nLike “This dude either got two glass eyes,nOr he’s wearin’ his patch on the wrong S-S-S-Side.nnNow he knew what he saw, had to prove he was rawnSo he raped and he pillaged and he’d feud any brawl.nTried to rekindle his rep using sabers and gun smokenAnd that’s always fine though he never told his cutthroats.nMeanwhile, back in the now,nGot a brand new skeleton crew on the mount nown……………………Cannon, stern, and bownThey are pouring shiny metals out your M-M-M-Mouth.nnOkay,…………………………..and disease like the scurvy made his yellow gums bleed.nAnd he was achy from his boots to the feather in his hatn‘Till his quartermaster showed up with a stolen treasure map.nOne look down and leaped off the dock.nSee if you can guess where X marked the spot.nThe capital was buried in……….cursed cavenOnly one mile away he seen the M-M-M-Mermaid.nnAnchors up, push the jolly roger way too muchnDay and night with his hook hands raised and clutched.nBut see, the vitamin deficiency was strongnSo by the time they broke into the island they could barely lift his brawn.nCrawled off the boat, collapsed in the sandnPrayers in the air, seashells in his handsnAnd nary a high time so grandnAs the one that put the lady of the lake on dry L-L-L-LandnnAnd I wish I could tell you that it ended happynPretend like his bones weren’t practically snapping.nPretend like her gills didn’t dry up in suffering.nThere’s a half dead pirate and a fish out of water.nNo lie, scouts honor, got a million morenFrom the burgundy lighting up from the shores of whores.nYou got visions of grandeur, better slow those sailsnRemember dead men tell no T-T-T-Tales.nnDead men tell no tales justnPush the daisies ‘till the soil is stale.n…………………………….nMister big sleep with the carp and kale.
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