TALKIN' CANDY BAR BLUES
Peter, Paul & Mary

(spoken story with guitar accompaniment)
Bought a candy bar the other day,
only ate half, s'gonna throw the rest away
when I saw this kid playin' in the street,
I said Hey kid, you want somethin' to eat?
he said Whut?
I said Candy, son. He said HELP!
Then he started to run,
and I stood there,
watchin' him go,
half a bar of chocolate
runnin' down my fingers.

Well the kid comes back in a minute or two
but his mom's with him and the neighbors too,
and they got the kid scared it's plain to see,
they say Which one done it? he points at me.
He says Him. I say What do you mean?
He says YOU! then he starts to scream,
and I'm standin', everybody's lookin',
everybody's starin' -at me- ... (nervous laugh)

Howdy doody...y'all waitin' for the bus?
Ah ... a little late isn't it ... anybody got a watch? ...
we could uh see how late it is ...
I got a better idea, let's find somebody with a watch
and stare at him!

Well some start pickin' up baseball bats
and the others are pullin' the pins from their hats -
I think this thing's gone a little too far,
hell, I only offered him a CANDY BAR! I said WAIT!
I said What are you doin'?
They said PRE-VERT the kid's life is ruined!
Oh...oh well then you better check what he's chewin'
cause I got the feelin'
he's in the middle of a bubble gum orgy!

Well they're comin' at me and I'm backin' away
and then I hear this policeman say
Are you positive he's the right man?
(I quick flicked the candy bar out of my hand).
He says Show me.
I says Show ya what?
He says The CANDY BAR you degen-a-rut and he grabs me.
He grabs both my hands.
Pretty easy to see ...
which hand's got the chocolate!

Well I've had some troubled times before,
but none like the trip from the candy store ...
sympathize with the kid all right,
somebody's nice to ya, probably ain't right.
I'll grow up, I'll learn the way.
I'll learn so that my later days'll be prosperous.
(Chocolate covered) ...
if I don't bite off more than I can hide.


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Lyrics by Peter, Paul & Mary

  'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS   24 GREEN STREET   500 MILES   75 SEPTEMBERS   A SOALIN'   ALL MIXED UP   ALL MY TRIALS   ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT   AND WHEN I DIE   APOLOGIZE   AUTUMN TO MAY   BABYLON/OH SINNER MAN   Ballad Of Spring Hill   BALLAD OF SPRING HILL (Spring Hill Disaster)   BAMBOO   BECAUSE ALL MEN ARE BROTHERS   BEST OF FRIENDS   BETTY & DUPREE   BIG BOAT   BLOWIN' IN THE WIND   Blowing In The Wind   BLUE   BOA CONSTRICTOR   BOB DYLAN'S DREAM   Brother, Can You Spare A Dime?   BROTHER, (BUDDY) CAN YOU SPARE A DIME?   BUT A MOMENT   BY SURPRISE   CAR-CAR   CHILDREN GO WHERE I SEND THEE   CHRISTMAS DINNER   Christmas Song   COME AND GO WITH ME   COMING OF THE ROADS   CRUEL WAR   DANNY'S DOWNS   Day Is Done   DELIVERY DELAYED   DEPORTEE   DODI LI   DON'T GO DOWN TO THE QUARRY   Don't Laugh At Me   Don't Think Twice, It's All Right   Dont Think Twice Its All Right   Down By The Riverside   Early In The Morning   EARLY MORNIN' RAIN   Early Morning Rain   EL SALVADOR   EVERY FLOWER   FAIR IRELAND   Father's House   FLORA   Follow Me   For Baby   FOR BABY (FOR BOBBIE)   For Lovin Me   For Lovin' Me   FOR THE LOVE OF IT ALL   FOREVER YOUNG   Freedom Medley   FREIGHT TRAIN   GARDEN SONG   GILGARRA MOUNTAIN   Go Tell It On The Mountain   GOING TO THE ZOO   GOLDEN VANITY   GONE THE RAINBOW   Goodnight Irene   GREENLAND WHALE FISHERIES   GREENWOOD   HANGMAN   HAYO, HAYA   HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS   HOME ON THE RANGE / DON'T EVER TAKE AWAY MY FREEDO...   HOUSE OF THE RISING SUN   HURRY SUNDOWN   HUSH-A-BYE   HYMN   I Am Your Child   I Dig Rock And RolI Music   I DIG ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC   I HAVE A SONG TO SING, O!   I KNOW AN OLD LADY   I NEED ME TO BE FOR ME   I SHALL BE RELEASED   I WONDER AS I WANDER   I'D RATHER BE IN LOVE   I'M IN LOVE WITH A BIG BLUE FROG   If I Had A Hammer   IF I HAD MY WAY   IF I HAD WINGS   IF I WERE FREE   Indian Sunset   INSIDE   Invisible People   IT AIN'T ME BABE   It's Magic   IT'S RAINING   JANE, JANE   JESUS MET THE WOMAN   JIMMY WHALEN   KISSES SWEETER THAN WINE   Kumbaya   LE DESERTEUR   LEATHERWING BAT   Leaving On A Jet Plane   Lemon Tree   LIGHT ONE CANDLE   LIKE THE FIRST TIME   Listen, Mr. Bilbo   LISTEN, MR. BILBO (Mr. Bigot)   LONG CHAIN ON   Love City   LOVE CITY (Postcards To Duluth)   MAKE-BELIEVE TOWN   MAN COME INTO EGYPT   Michael Row The Boat Ashore   MOCKINGBIRD   MOMENTS OF SOFT PERSUASION   MON VRAI DESTIN   MONDAY MORNING   MORNING TRAIN   MOTHERLESS CHILD   MS. RHEINGOLD   MUSIC SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS   NO EASY WALK TO FREEDOM   NO MAN'S LAND   NO OTHER NAME   NORMAN NORMAL   O COME, O COME EMMANUEL   Oh, Had I A Golden Thread   OH, ROCK MY SOUL   Oh, Rock My Soul (Live)   OLD COAT   Old Enough   OLD ENOUGH (Ode to An Aging Rocker)   Old Father Time   ON A DESERT ISLAND   ONE KIND FAVOR   One Tin Soldier   PACK UP YOUR SORROWS   PASTURES OF PLENTY   PAULTALK   POEM FOR ERIKA / FOR BABY   POLLY VON   POWER   PRETTY MARY   Puff The Magic Dragon   Puff, The Magic Dragon   QUIT YOUR LOW DOWN WAYS   REASON TO BELIEVE   Rhymes & Reasons   RICH MAN POOR MAN   RIGHT FIELD   RIVER OF JORDAN   ROCKY ROAD   ROLLING HOME   SAN FRANCISCO BAY BLUES   SEPTEMBER SONG   Settle Down   SETTLE DOWN (Goin' Down That Highway)   SHE DREAMS   SINGLE GIRL   SOMAGWAZA/HEY,MOTSWALA   Some Walls   SOMETIME LOVIN'   SOMOS EL BARCO   Song Of Peace   SORROW   STATE OF THE HEART   Stewball   SUCH IS LOVE   SUMMER HIGHLAND FALLS   SWEET SURVIVOR   TAKE THE CHANCE   Tall Pine Trees   TELL IT ON THE MOUNTAIN   THE CHERRY TREE CAROL   THE CUCKOO   THE EDDYSTONE LIGHT   THE FIRST TIME EVER I SAW YOUR FACE   THE FOX   THE FRIENDLY BEASTS   THE GOOD TIMES WE HAD   The Great Mandala   THE GREAT MANDALA (The Wheel of Life)   THE HOUSE SONG   THE KID   THE KING OF NAMES   THE LAST THING ON MY MIND   THE LOVE IN YOU   The Magi   THE MAGI (The Heart of Man's A Palace)   THE MARVELOUS TOY   THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS LIFE   THE RISING OF THE MOON   THE SONG IS LOVE   THE TIMES THEY ARE A' CHANGIN'   THE UNICORN SONG   THERE BUT FOR FORTUNE   THERE IS A SHIP   THERE'S ANGER IN THE LAND   THIS LAND IS YOUR LAND   THIS TRAIN   THREE RAVENS   TINY SPARROW   Too Much Of Nothing   TRAMP ON THE STREET   TRYIN' TO WIN   VERY LAST DAY   WANDERIN'/NOBODY KNOWS YOU WHEN YOU'RE DOWN AND OU...   WASN'T THAT A TIME   Wayfaring Stranger   WE SHALL OVERCOME   WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS   WEAVE ME THE SUNSHINE   Wedding Song   WEEP FOR JAMIE   WELL, WELL, WELL   WHATSHERNAME   WHEN THE SHIP COMES IN   WHERE HAVE ALL THE FLOWERS GONE   WHISPERED WORDS   WILD PLACES   WITH YOUR FACE TO THE WIND   WOULD YOU LIKE TO LEARN TO DANCE   YESTERDAY'S TOMORROW   YUPPIES IN THE SKY

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