You can wrap a turd in pretty paper
That don't make it a Christmas present
You can call a toad a cocker spaniel
That won't warm your heart when he licks your nose
I've been saying shit too much
I gotta stop saying shit so much
'Cause there might be children
Who don't want their parents to hear
The word shit so much
So, I've decided
That every time I'm tempted to say the word shit
I'm gonna say Patriot Act
And people will pretty much know what I mean
I just stepped in Patriot Act
I hate it when I step in Patriot Act
Because the Patriot Act is a hard thing to undo
Once it's on your shoe
Is it more patriotic to uphold the constitution and burn the flag
Than to hold up the flag (and burn the constitution)
And burn the constitution... right
Some of you got ahead of me on that one
(No Patriot Act)