Origin of Species
MC Frontalot

Congregation, settle in your seats.nThe Reverend Front Aloud is on the mic and about to speak.nI'm about to freak you out, make you shiver in the pewnwhile I'm delivering to you my sermon and divinity ensuesnbrought by the one true God. It's a fact:nanybody else who ever had a God, their God's wack.nWe ain't got to worry about it; we picked the right horse.nYou're in the right house of worship (of course),nand forces are gathering out in the worldnto diminish our faith in ways radical and thorough,nto discourage us from loving anything that's immaterial,nto tempt our children with ever-fruitier cereal,nand worst of all, to call us idiots while they do it.nMy congregation, listen; I'm about to walk you through it.nWe're going to take the nation back from the heathens that's within it.nWe're gonna get the most egregious of the atheists imprisoned,ncause a schism while we're at it, but emerge on top,nand once we've purified our ranks we won't stopnwe'll purify your minds of what's illegitimately thought.nIt's not to be a battle indiscriminately fought,nbut an orchestrated effort, and I'm gonna need you to commit.nMight take a couple generations for this devilry to quit.nStart with the kids, in fact, they get distracted from the Lordnso I'd like you to write a couple letters to your school board.nnDo you, do you really believenWe were nothing but them monkeys swinging up in the trees?nDon't it seem a little likelier that Adam and Evendid a lot of humping, and that was the origin of the species?nnAnd what has this so-called science ever done for usnbut trumpeted that when ashes go to ashes & dust to dust,ndespite the fuss of living, energy gets conserved.nDenying the weight of the soul of a man: this is ill deserved.nThis is still the curse of Copernicus that we suffer.nSecular thought ought not to overflow its buffernand run roughshod through the minds of you, the population.nHeretics such as Dawkins and Sagan overstep their stationnto say that what we see and what we believe should be confluent.nLook to your Reverend to end apostasy; that's what I'm doing!nLook to your Holy Book to light the way; that is its purpose.nOpen it up and you'll find Eden 'fore you even scratch the surface.nAnd sure, this should be mirrored in the textbooks verbatimnbut I'm not in a position yet to issue ultimatum.nSo I lay down my scheme: we'll make it seem as though creationnisn't anything we'd like to interject to education.nWe'll wrangle up the language: science, data, theorem,nthe irreducible complexity of the ears we use to hear 'emngnashing teeth and wailing from Kansas to PA.nYes, my flock, I talk of futures not imminent but underway.nAlready established an Institute for Discovery.nDiscovered that Darwin is dead with outlook grim for recovery.nSchoolmarms will soon say that he burns in a fiery sea.nThink how much like paradise that's gonna be.

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