I had a dream that I fathered a bizarro genius baby.nShe's out the womb like, 'Dood, why'd I get expatriated?'nDebated at one month the finer points of a diaper,ndevised a device composed of a hose and a windshield wiper.nGrew riper in intellect as the months passed, wore a dunce cap ironically,ngrew fussy once and she summoned me not sonicallynbut through a series of editorials that she authored,nentitled: 'Is MC Frontalot One Of The Worst Fathers?'nOxford, Stanford, Harvard called, she didn't call them back.n'Tuition & Housing? I'm holding out for a tenure track.'nDistracted by her first birthday party, I hardly noticednshe'd brought peace to the middle east or at least a cease-fire with the POTUS.nAnd no dust had settled when she'd disproved Fermatnby finding A^3 + B^3 that = C^3 and her sadnessnat throwing the field into disarray got assuagednby a brand new rattle and a mint parfait.nnBizarro genius baby: at first I was elated, but eventually I grew concerned.nBizarro genius baby: you prove my genes are Grade A, but what of when tables turn?nnShe had to settle for the Fields Medal but didn't settle well,nall the while cursing the indiscretions of Alfred Nobel,nand so well tuckered out was she at this point that she napped,narose with a whole symphony composed in B-flat.n'See dad?' Yes dear, it'll go with the other ones on the fridge,nin between the two Puccinis you translated & abridged,njust above 'I love you dad' in macaroni/glitternand the 37 villanelles to mom (but I ain't bitter).nAnd no quitter was she neither when the time it came to walk:nbuilt an exoskeleton out of gelatin and chalknwhich allowed her to run thirty miles an hour 'round the yard.nYou think parenting your normal little children is hard?nI got scarred, scared, scampered at by holographic artifactsnthat she projected on the scene with a machine that automaticallyndiscerns your worst concerns & makes them visible.nShe deemed it risible. Her glee was indivisiblenfrom all emanations that the baby would make.nI had to become less hilarious for all of our sakes.nI made mistakes, I'll admit it. Dropped the kid on her head,ndestroyed the part of her that thought of evil. Or so she said!nNow I bred this thing out myself in partnshe quoted 'reap what you sow;' I had to take it to heart.nI sought to restart: I said, 'Girl, you'll be a woman.nCan't be dabbling and dilettantin' all the time, I'm assuming.nGot to pick a theme and focus the beam of your brain power.'nHer face became overcome with an insane glowernand then it remained sour. She said, 'Oh, I have.nThough the UI that you gave me was buggy I finally found me the nav.nAnd I'm dialing in a career path I think you'll like.nStarts when I play with an 808, ends with a mic.'nDidn't need her to elaborate at all.nShe was already wearing the glasses, mic in the palm.nShe planned to become a nerdcore rapper just like menso I shipped her to Singapore, sold her baby ass to Nike.nn(Sorry, baby. You work for them now.)n(Stitch'em tight.)