Oh, Michelle
Seanan McGuire

Oh, Michelle, what the hell
Were you thinkin' -- were you drinkin'?
Did you really not believe things could go so, so wrong?
Oh, Michelle, how the hell
Can I tell your friends what happened?
I can barely scratch the surface in this song.

When the aliens arrived, the planet still might have survived
If they hadn't found a host in which to let their young mature.
Though they're dreadful and Cthonic, they're still weak when embryonic,
And our world has lots of dangers that they simply can't endure.

It was glowing, it was green, it was anything but clean,
It was the protoplasmic shelter for that foul invading race.
And what I don't understand is how you fell into their plan --
I can't think of one good reason why you put it in your face.

Oh, Michelle, what the hell...

When you found that ancient tome concealed in your ancestral home
It didn't take a second glance to know the damn thing was bad news.
For it was bound in human skin and written by the Devil's pen,
It was the sort of tempting target you'd do better to refuse.

Not a warning did you heed as you settled down to read,
And then a thousand deadly demons started rising through the floor.
Now I know that you're not dumb, but still, you told them they could come!
And I'm not sure I want to be your buddy anymore.

Oh, Michelle, what the hell...

When you said you'd be out late 'cause you were going on a date,
I said, 'just stay out of the cornfield, there's a killer on the loose...'
You didn't listen to a word, you thought my warnings were absurd,
And you might as well have slipped your own damn neck into the noose.

Now you tell me you're pursued by a killer who's imbued
With the deadly demon powers of dimensions with no name!
Now you say he can't be killed until his mission is fulfilled,
And that mission is your death? Well, honey, I know who's to blame.

Oh, Michelle, what the hell
Were you thinkin' -- were you drinkin'?
Did you really not believe things could go so, so wrong?
Oh, Michelle, how the hell
Can I tell your friends what happened?
I can barely scratch the surface in this song.

Oh, Michelle, what the hell
Were you thinkin' -- were you drinkin'?
Did you really not believe things could go so, so wrong?
Oh, Michelle, how the hell
Can I tell your friends what happened?
I can barely scratch the surface in this song.

Written on: 2006-12-20. Seanan McGuire

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