Evil Laugh
Seanan McGuire

If you wanna be specific, it was Paleolithic
When we came upon this land --
It was fertile and fantastic, it was totally Jurassic,
It was here we'd make our stand!

And you said 'it's here we'll make our home,
It's verdant and so fine!
No need to wander or to roam,
This land is yours and mine!'
I guess you didn't see the signs...

My laugh is an evil laugh! Ha ha ha ha DIE.
It's been really swell, but now it's time to say goodbye.
My sudden inevitable betrayal was the only way
We could end this tale...
My laugh is an evil laugh. Ha ha ha ha DIE.

I just can't ignore that I'm a Tyrannosaur-
-us, though it seems that you forgot.
It's my nurture, it's my nature, it's my nomenclature,
I'm the King and you are not!

And I said, 'We'll call this land your grave!
Why is this a surprise?
This is how a carnivore behaves.
I thought you'd realize.
It's time for you to recognize...

My laugh is an evil laugh! Ha ha ha ha DIE.
It's been really swell, but now it's time to say goodbye.
My sudden inevitable betrayal was the only way
We could end this tale...
My laugh is an evil laugh. Ha ha ha ha DIE.

This land is really great, thanks a bunch.
It's time to celebrate, that's why I packed a lunch.
I'm pretty sure you knew that I wasn't an herbivore.
Bearing that firmly in mind, what'd you think you were needed for?
If you weren't for me to eat,
You wouldn't be made out of meat!
My laugh is an evil laugh. Ha ha MUNCH MUNCH DIE.

Please don't be offended by the way that it ended,
Though I don't care if you are.
I won't get any thinner -- you'll be staying for dinner.
Thanks for bringing me this far.

Because now this land is mine alone!
I rule all I survey!
That's nature, brutal to the bone;
It's always been the way.
There's just one more thing to say...

My laugh is an evil laugh! Ha ha ha ha DIE.
It's been really swell, but now it's time to say goodbye.
My sudden inevitable betrayal was the only way
We could end this tale...
My laugh is an evil laugh. Ha ha ha ha,
Ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha DIE!

Written on: 2006-01-18. Seanan McGuire

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