Numbers
Bobby Bare

I was sittin' in Friday's suckin' on a glass of wine

When in walked a chick who almost struck me blind

Had wet blue eyes and her legs were long and fine

On a scale of one to ten, I'd give her a nine.


Now on my scale there ain't no ten's, you know

Nine is about as far as any chick can go

So I flashed her a smile, but she didn't even look at me

So for brains and good judgement, I'd give her a three.


I said, Hey sweet thing, you look like a possible eight

You and me could, uh! make eighteen, if your head's on straight.

She looked up and down my perfect frame

And said these words that burned into my perfect brain.


She said, well, another one of those macho-matician men

Kind who grade all women on scales of one to ten

And, you give me an eight, well, that's a generous thing to do

Now, let's just see, just how much I give you.


She said you comin' on to me with that phony numbers jive

Your style makes me smile, I give it a five

When you walked up I noticed that suit of (yores)

It's last year's double-knit frayed-cuffs, give it a four.


That must be your car parked out on the curb

That sixty-nine homemade convertible, a three and a third

Now, as for your build, I guess (yore) less than five

Except, for your pot belly, I'd give that a ten for size.


That wine you're pourin' might be fine to you

But I'm used to fine champagne, I give it a two

It's hard to tell what your flashin' smile is worth

I give it a six, you could use some dental work.


But, It's your struttin' rooster act that really makes me laugh

It may be a ten to these country hens, but to me a three and a half

And there really ain't much to add once the subtractin's done

Since there ain't no zeroes, I give you a one!.


She walked out, while up and down the line

The whole bar was laughin', said' Bare, what happened to your nine

Nine says I, hell soon as she started to talk I knew

She didn't have no class, I barely gave her a two.


Spoken:

Yeah! No matter how good they look at first

There's flaws in all of them

That's why on a scale of ten to one, friend

There ain't no ten.


  Purchase "Numbers"   Purchase Entire Album   Email Video to Friends   Play Youtube "Numbers" Video   Play Spotify "Numbers" Song   View Wikipedia "Numbers" Entry   Receive Emails for Future Bobby Bare Lyrics

Email:

  Link to "Numbers"   Share on Facebook, Twitter, and more
  See Recommended Lyrics For You

Loading...

Lyrics by Bobby Bare

  (margie's At) The Lincoln Park Inn   (Margie's At) The Lincoln Park Inn   500 Miles Away Fro Home   500 Miles Away From Home   A Beggar   A Candle In The Wind (I'm Not)   A Dear John Letter   A Dear John Letter [*]   A Dear John Letter [w/ Skeeter Davis]   A Lot Of Soul   A Million Miles to the City   Abilene   Able Bodied Man   Air Conditioner Song   Alimony   All American Boy   All American Boy [Alternate Take][Take]   All The Good Times Are Past And Gone   Another Love Has Ended   Are You Sincere   Autumn of My Life   Back Home in Huntsville Again   Barbara Joe   Bathroom Tissue Paper Letter   Before The Sunrise   Beguilled Bashful Burnt   Big Ben Colson   Big Dupree   Bird Named Yesterday   Bless America Again   Blind Willie Harper   Blowin' In The Wind   Blowin' In The Wind   Blue Is My Lonely Room   Boll Weevil   Book Of Love   Bottles And Boxes   Bottomless Well   Bye Bye Love   California Dreams   Can't Seem To Get Nowhere   Can't Seem To Get Nowhere   Candy Coated Kisses   Changin' My Mind   Changin' My Mind   Charleston Railroad Tavern   Chicago Story   Chicken Every Sunday   Childhood Hero   Cincinnati Jail   Come On Home And Sing The Blues To Daddy   Come Sundown   Countin' The Hours Countin' The Days   Countin' The Hours Countin' The Days   Crazy Again   Daddy What If   Daddy's Been Around The House Too Long   Daddy's Been Around The House Too Long   Darby's Castle   Darby's Castle   Dark As a Dungeon   Day The Saw Mill Closed Down   Dear John Letter   Dear Wastebasket   Dear Wastebasket   Deepening Snow   Delia's Gone   Delia's Gone   Detroit City   Diet Song   Don't It Make You Want To Go Home   Don't Let That Doorknob Hit You   Don't Think Twice It's All Right   Don't Think You're Too Good For Country Music   Don't Think You're Too Good For Country Music (Jus...   Don't Turn Out The Light   Don't You Ever Get Tired (of Hurtin' Me)   Don't It Make You Want To Go Home   Don't Let That Doorknob Hit You   Don't Think Twice It's All Right   Don't Think You're Too Good For Country ...   Don't Turn Out The Light   Don't You Ever Get Tired (Of Hurtin' Me)   Down In Mexico   Down To My Last Come And Get Me   Dream Baby (How Long Must I Dream)   Drink Up And Go Home   Drinkin' From The Bottle (singin' From The Heart)   Drinkin' From The Bottle (Singin' From T...   Drop Kick Me Jesus   Drop Kick Me, Jesus   Dropkick Me Jesus   Dropping Out of Sight   Early Morning Rain   Easy As Dreaming   Fairy Tale   Family Bible   Farewell, Angelina   Farmer Feeds Us All   February Snow   Fellow Travelers   Find Out What's Happening   Find Out What's Happening   Finger On The Button   Five Hundred Miles Away from Home   Folsom Prison Blues   Fool   For A While We Helped Each Other Out   For the Good Times   Four Strong Winds   Gambler   Game of Triangles   Game of Triangles   Game Of Triangles   Giving Tree   God Bless America Again   Gods Were Angry With Me   Goin' Home   Goin' Up's Easy, Comin' Down's Hard   Goin' Up's Easy, Comin' Down's...   Good For Nothing Blues   Goodnight Irene   Goodnight Irene [*]   Got Leavin' On Her Mind   Got Leavin' On Her Mind   Gotta Travel On   Great Snowman   Green Green Grass Of Home   Guess I'll Move On Down The Line   Guess I'll Move On Down The Line   Hard Time Hungrys   Have I Stayed Away Too Long   He Was A Friend Of Mine   He's Got The Whole World In His Hands   He's Got The Whole World In His Hands   Heaven Help My Soul   Hello Darlin'   Hello Darlin'   Help Me Make It Through the Night   Help Me Make It Throught the Night   Hillbilly Hell   Homesick   Homestead On The Farm   House of the Rising Sun   Houston   How About You   How I Got to Memphis   I Can't Watch The Movie Anymore   I Don't Believe I'll Fall In Love Today   I Don't Care (just As Long As You Love Me)   I Don't Believe I'll Fall In Love Today   I Don't Care (Just As Long As You Love Me)   I Got You   I Love You   I Love You Drops   I Need Some Good News Bad   I Saw the Light   I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For   I Was a Young Man Once   I Was Coming Home To You   I Was Coming Home to You   I Washed My Face In The Morning Dew   I Wonder Where You Are Tonight   I'd Fight The World   I'll Fly Away   I'm Gettin' Lonely   I'm Her Hoss If I Never Win A Race   I'm So Afraid Of Losing You Again   I've Got a Thing About Trains   I've Lived A Lot In My Time   I'd Fight The World   I'll Fly Away   I'm Gettin' Lonely   I'm Her Hoss If I Never Win A Race   I'm So Afraid Of Losing You Again   I've Got A Thing About Trains   I've Lived A Lot In My Time   If That Ain't Love   If That Ain't Love   If There's Not A Hell (there Ought To Be)   If There's Not A Hell (There Ought To Be)   If You Think I'm Crazy Now   If You Think I'm Crazy Now   In The Hills Of Shiloh   In The Misty Moonlight   Invisible Tears   Is It Wrong (for Loving You)   It Ain't Me Babe   It Ain't Me Babe   It's A Freezing In El Paso   It's Alright   It's A Freezing In El Paso   Jeannie's Last Kiss   Jeannie's Last Kiss   Jennifer Johnson And Me   Jesus Christ What A Man   Jesus Christ, What A Man   Jesus Is The Only One That Loves Us   Jogger   John Hardy   Just A Closer Walk With Thee   Just in Case (A Night Like This One Never Comes Ag...   Just The Other Side Of Nowhere   Just To Satisfy You   Law Is for Protection of the People   Leave My Baby Alone   Leaving On A Jet Plane   Lemon Tree   Less of Me   Let Me Tell You About Mary   Let's Make Love Not War   Let's Make Love Not War   Little Bit Later On Down The Line   Lonely Street   Lonely Town   Lonesome Valley   Long Black Limousine   Long Black Veil   Long Way To Tennessee   Look Who I'm Cheating On Tonight   Look Who I'm Cheating On Tonight   Lookout Mountain   Lorena   Lot Of Soul   Love Forever   Love's Gonna Live Here   Lovin' You Anyway   Lovin' Her Was Easier   Lovin' You Anyway   Loving Her Was Easier   Lullabys Legends And Lies   Lullabys, Legends and Lies   Lynchin' Party   Maggie (i Wish We'd Never Met)   Maggie (I Wish We'd Never Met)   Mama Bake A Pie (daddy Kill A Chicken)   Mama Bake A Pie (Papa Kill A Chicken)   Man Of Constant Sorrow   Margie's At The Lincoln Park Inn (1969)   Marie Laveau   Marie Laveau (1974)   Marie Leveau   Mary Ann Regrets   Me and Bobby McGee   Me and Bobby McGhee   Me And Jimmie Rodgers   Memphis Tennessee   Miller's Cave   Miller's Cave   Millers Cave   Million Miles To The City   Monkey And The Elephant   Mrs Jones, Your Daughter Cried All Night   Mrs. Jones Your Daughter Cried All Night   My Elusive Dreams   My Heart Cries for You   New York City Snow   No Sad Songs For Me   Ode To The Little Brown Shack Out Back   Old Gang's Gone   Old Gang's Gone   One Among The Three Of Us   One Day at a Time   Passin' Through   Passin' Through   Paul   Please Don't Tell Me How the Story Ends   Please Don't Tell Me How The Story Ends   Pursuing Happiness   Qualudes Again   Rainy Day In Richmond   Real Thing (More Than A Memory)   Rest Awhile   Ricky Tic Song   Ride Me Down Easy   Rock Star's Lament   Rodeo Queen   Rosalie   Rosalie's Good Eats Cafe   Rosalie's Good Eats Cafe   Roselee   Rosie's Restaurant   Rosie's Restaurant   Rough on the Living   Ruby Don't Take Your Love To Town   Ruby Don't Take Your Love To Town   Saginaw Michigan   Sailor Man   Salt Lake City   Scarlet Ribbons (for Her Hair)   See That Bluebird   Shame on Me   She Called Me Baby   She Thinks I Can   She's My Ever Lovin' Machine   She's My Ever Lovin' Machine   Short and Sweet   Silence Is Golden   Sing For The Song   Singer Of Sad Songs   Singin' in the Kitchen   Singin' In The Kitchen   Sittin' And Thinkin'   Sittin' And Thinkin'   Six Days On The Road   Sleep Tight, Good Night Man   Sleep Tight, Good Night Man [*]   So Soon   Some Days Are Diamonds (Some Days Are Stone)   Somebody Bought My Old Hometown   Son Of Hickory Holler's Tramp   Son Of Hickory Holler's Tramp   Stacy Brown Got Two   Strange Bird   Streets Of Baltimore   Streets Of Baltimore (1966)   Sunday Morning Coming Down   Sure Hit Songwriter's Pen   Sure Hit Songwriters Pen   Sweet Dreams   Sweeter Than The Flowers   Take Me as I Am (Or Let Me Go)   Take Me Home To Mama   Talk Me Some Sense   Talk Me Some Sense [With Recitation]   Tall Oak Tree   Tecumseh Valley   Tequila Sheila   That's All I Want From You   That's How I Got To Memphis   That's How I Wanted It To Be   The All American Boy   The Deepening Snow   The Devil and Billy Markham   The Diet Song   The Fool   The Gambler   The Game of Triangles   The Gods Were Angry With Me   The Jogger   The Jogger [*]   The Long Black Veil   The Son Of Hickory Holler's Tramp   The Streets of Baltimore   The Winner   The Woman In Every Man's Life   There Never Was A Time   They Covered Up The Old Swimmin' Hole   They Covered up the Old Swimming Hole   This Guitar Is for Sale   This Guitar Is for Sale [*]   Three Legged Man   Till I Get on My Feet   Time   Times Are Gettin' Hard   Tired of the Road Joe   Together Again   Tom Dooley   Too Many Nights Alone   Too Used To Being With You   Travelin' Minstrel Man   Truck Driver Truck Driver   True Love   True Story   Truer Love You'll Never Find   Try to Remember   Tulsa County   Two For A Dollar   Unemployment Line   Unicorn   Up Against the Wall Redneck Mother   Vincennes   Waitress At Main Street Cafe   Warm And Free   Watching The Trains Go By   We Helped Each Other Out (For A While)   We Must Have Been Out Of Our Minds   We'll Sing In The Sunshine   West Virginia Woman   What Am I Gonna Do   What Am I Gonna Do?   What Kind of Bird Is That   When Am I Ever Gonna Settle Down   When God Dips His Love In My Heart   When I Want To Love A Lady   When I'm Gone   When I've Learned Enough To Die   When Love Is Gone   When the Wind Blows (In Chicago)   When the Wind Blows in Chicago   Where Have All The Seasons Gone   Where'd I Come From   Which One Is To Blame   Wife Of The Party   Wild As The Wind   Wilma Lou   Winner   Woman You Have Been A Friend To Me   Wonderful Soup Stone   World's Last Truck Driving Man   Worried Man Blues   Y'all Come   Yard Full Of Rusty Cars   You Are   You Can't Stop The Wild Wind From Blowing   You Made A Believer Out Of Me   Your Adorable Beast   Your Favorite Hat   Your Husband My Wife

Related Songs

  Insomnia - Numbers  Insomnia [*] - Numbers  Anything - Numbers  Numbers - Pompeii  Numbers - Kraftwerk  Numbers - Fish  Numbers - Great Northern  Numbers - Young Legionnaire  Numbers - Adeste  Numbers - Michou  Numbers - LEGEND  Numbers - Eight Bit Tiger  Numbers - Organized Konfusion  Numbers - Smoke City  Numbers [*] - The Hives  Numbers - Greg MacPherson  Numbers - The Church  Numbers - The Hives  Numbers - These New Puritans  Numbers - Soft Cell  Numbers - Troy Von Balthazar  Numbers - New Look  Numbers - Shel Silverstein  Numbers - FKA Twigs  Numbers - Iko  Numbers - The Felix Culpa  Numbers - Hoodie Allen  Numbers - JoJo  Numbers - Pusha T  Numbers - G. Love & Special Sauce  Numbers - Various Artists  Numbers - K. Sparks   Numbers - Asher Roth  Numbers - Andy Grammer  Numbers - Basshunter  Numbers - The Cab  Numbers - Daughter  Numbers - Skepta  Numbers - Young Thug  Numbers - FKA twigs  Numbers - The Adicts  Numbers - Dirty Radio  Numbers - Bigwig  Numbers - Elizabeth Shepherd  Numbers - Caroline Hecht  Numbers - Church  Numbers - iLL Chris  Numbers - Raine Maida  Numbers - IAM4EV3R  Numbers - Ryan Adams  Numbers - Sky Eats Airplane  Numbers - Hurt  Numbers [Explicit] - Skepta  God In The Numbers - Richard Ashcroft  God In The Numbers - Ashcroft Richard  Win, Lose Or Dead - Flotsam & Jetsam  Win, Lose Or Dead - Flotsam And Jetsam  Narke - Floating Me  The Scorpion Deathlock - The Devil Wears Prada  Got the Numbers - Anti-Flag  Got the Numbers - Anti Flag  Strength In Numbers - Channel 3  Heartfelt By Numbers - Buck Brothers  Welcome To The North - The Music  Number Cruncher - Schoolhouse Rock  Just Seven Numbers (can Straighten Out My Life)...  Safety In Numbers - Joan Osborne  It's Horseshit! - Electric Six  Coming In Numbers - Bad Brains  Trap Doin Numbers - Jj Money  When Numbers Get Serious - Paul Simon  When Numbers Get Serious - Simon & Garfunkel  Strength In Numbers - Trapt  Strength In Numbers - Trapt  Painting by Numbers - Television Personalities  AWAY FROM THE NUMBERS - The Jam  Away From The Numbers - Jam  Numbers Game - Thievery Corporation  All U Pretty Girls - Stereos  Women Lie, Men Lie - Yo Gotti  Old Numbers - Caitlin Rose  Campaign - Ty Dolla $ign Featuring B.o.B  When Numbers Get Serious - Simon And Garfunkel  New Numbers - John Hiatt  Just Seven Numbers (Can Straighten Out My Life)...  Just Seven Numbers - The Four Tops  Campaign (Charlie Heat Remix) - Ty Dolla $ign  Campaign - Ty Dolla $ign  I Want Your Number - Amanda Lepore  Midnight - Altered Images  The Undiscovered Numbers And Colors - Cky2k  Grandma Plays the Numbers - Wynonie Harris  Telephone Numbers - UK Subs  Little Numbers - Boy  Making Up Numbers - Pigeon Detectives  Perfect Numbers - Adzuki  Fragile Numbers - Calories  Choosing Numbers - Field Music  Even Numbers - The Standard  Numbers Fall - Cold Chisel  Even Numbers - Gregor Samsa  Average Numbers - Harloe  Big Numbers - Olehole  Slow Numbers - Morphine  Trap Numbers - Gucci Mane  Numbers Game - Illy  Numbers & Time - Jason Reeves  Teenage Numbers - Yo Gotti  Lucky Numbers - Generationals  Trap Numbers - Gucci Mane  Counting Numbers - Hot Water Music  Phone Numbers - Big Sean  Phone Numbers - Fabolous  Phone Numbers - Wiz Khalifa  The Numbers - Radiohead  Even Numbers - They Might Be Giants  Uneven Numbers - Desultory  Magic Numbers - I Am Robot and Proud  Computerwelt - Kraftwerk  Computer World - Kraftwerk  Computer World - Kraftwerk  Computer World [PCM Stereo] - Kraftwerk  Winter's My Summer - MIMS  Paint By Numbers - Al Stewart  Kind A Dope - Gucci Mane  Making Up Numbers - The Pigeon Detectives  Campaign - Ty Dolla Sign  The Undiscovered Numbers And Colors - Cky  Cheeseburger [Live] - Gang of Four  Jemenez Cricket - Brutal Truth  Safety In Numbers - Younger Brother  The Numbers Become My Enemies - (Psychoparalysis)  Safety In Numbers - Yoav  Life Like Thunder - Eiffel 65  Living By Numbers - Jade Valerie  Always Share - Daryll-ann  The Jessica Numbers - The New Pornographers  Counting Numbers in the Air - Jim White  Fighting in a Lighthouse - And Also The Trees  Pictures and Numbers - Kelly Sweet  Counters - Young Knives  Don't Make It So - Automatic Loveletter  Don't Make It So - Automatic Loveletter  Not A Robot, But A Ghost - Andrew Bird  Dividir en Dos (The End of Logic) - H. Letham  Boxcutter - Armchair Committee  Letters Vs. Numbers - The Paperbacks  Cheeseburger - Gang of Four  Names, Tags, Numbers & Labels - Albert Hammond  Painting by Numbers - James Mcmurtry  Dialog on the 2 - Sucioperro  Murder By Numbers - Police  Murder By Numbers - The Police  [Untranslated] - Kate Bush  Pi - Kate Bush  Chicago, Detroit, L.A. - Zoot Woman  All The Old Showstoppers - The New Pornographers  Murder Reigns - Malevolent Creation  Gandhi - Patti Smith  Days Are Numbers (the Traveller)...  Days Are Numbers (the Traveller)...  The Number of Magic - Richard H. Kirk  The Bathroom Floor - Dismantled  Tribal Statistics - Manfred Mann's Earth Band  Calculation (theme) - Metric  Tribal Statistics - Manfred Mann  Autumn Leaves - Odd Numbers  Boring - Numbers Radio  Sisters Testament - Program The Dead  Days Are Numbers - The Alan Parsons Project  Terminal Annex - Harvey Danger  Mindful - Born Of Osiris  Down At The, Terminal Annex - Harvey Danger  Strength in Numbers - Times Of Grace  Murder by Numbers - Gil Evans  Strength In Numbers [Video] - Times Of Grace  Strength In Numbers [Alternate Take][*]...  Strength In Numbers [Alternate Take]...  Murder By Numbers - Sting & Police  Murder By Numbers - Sting  Feeding Frenzy - Otep  A Frame - Rafter  Always Countin’ - iLoveMakonnen   Anti-Pioneer - Feist  Numbers on the Jukebox - Mark Chesnutt  Sorrow 16 - Manic Street Preachers  Army Of Bugs - Channel Zero  Metal By Numbers - Brian Posehn  Drug Related Homicide - Earth Crisis  Anti-Pioneer (When The Month Changes Numbers)...  Anti Pioneer - Feist  Hunt by Numbers [DVD] - Jethro Tull  Burgalveist - Big Dumb Face  FRAME BY FRAME - King Crimson  The Numbers Game - Jose Vanders  Swords of Truth - These New Puritans  Painted by Numbers - The Sounds  Days Are Numbers (The Traveller) - Alan Parsons  Heartaches By The Number - Various Artists  Heartaches By the Number - Cyndi Lauper