Diet Song
Bobby Bare

Breakfast black coffee one slice of dry toast no butter no jelly no jam
Lunch just some lettuce two celery stalks no booze no potatoes no ham
Dinner one chicken wing broiled not fried no gravy no biscuits no pie
And this dietin' dietin' dietin' dietin' sure is a rough way to die
So pass me a carrot stick peel me a prune a glass of skim milk and that's all
Turn off the TV for the Big Mac commercial it's drivin' me right up the wall
And I'm thinkin' of french fries sausage and waffles spaghetti and cookies and cake
And each night I'm dreamin' of chocolate ice cream
And I'm starvin' to death when I wake
[ guitar ]
Supper two pieces of cauliflower raw some beefsteak the size of a nail
One sliced tomato a small dab of slaw I swear I ate better in jail
Stop eatin' that pizza right under my nose girl that's the least you can do
Put down that candy bar while I'm singin' I'm starvin' my pants off for you
You're fixin' the kids all those creamed mashed potatoes
But it's bouillon and water for me
Hey you got a lock on the refrigerator Lord knows where you're hidin' the key
While I'm starvin' for food late at night I'm starvin' for lovin' from you
But you say that when I can see my own dick you'll be glad to look at it too
So pass me a carrot stick peel me a prune a glass of skim milk and that's all
You and Jane Fonda and old Richard Simmons are drivin' me right off the wall
Now when I am dead with the insurance paid you'll look down at me and you'll grin
You'll say well the boy tried and he suffered and died
But don't he look good when he's thin oh my
And this dietin' dietin' dietin' dietin' sure is a rough way to die


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Lyrics by Bobby Bare

  (margie's At) The Lincoln Park Inn   (Margie's At) The Lincoln Park Inn   500 Miles Away Fro Home   500 Miles Away From Home   A Beggar   A Candle In The Wind (I'm Not)   A Dear John Letter   A Dear John Letter [*]   A Dear John Letter [w/ Skeeter Davis]   A Lot Of Soul   A Million Miles to the City   Abilene   Able Bodied Man   Air Conditioner Song   Alimony   All American Boy   All American Boy [Alternate Take][Take]   All The Good Times Are Past And Gone   Another Love Has Ended   Are You Sincere   Autumn of My Life   Back Home in Huntsville Again   Barbara Joe   Bathroom Tissue Paper Letter   Before The Sunrise   Beguilled Bashful Burnt   Big Ben Colson   Big Dupree   Bird Named Yesterday   Bless America Again   Blind Willie Harper   Blowin' In The Wind   Blowin' In The Wind   Blue Is My Lonely Room   Boll Weevil   Book Of Love   Bottles And Boxes   Bottomless Well   Bye Bye Love   California Dreams   Can't Seem To Get Nowhere   Can't Seem To Get Nowhere   Candy Coated Kisses   Changin' My Mind   Changin' My Mind   Charleston Railroad Tavern   Chicago Story   Chicken Every Sunday   Childhood Hero   Cincinnati Jail   Come On Home And Sing The Blues To Daddy   Come Sundown   Countin' The Hours Countin' The Days   Countin' The Hours Countin' The Days   Crazy Again   Daddy What If   Daddy's Been Around The House Too Long   Daddy's Been Around The House Too Long   Darby's Castle   Darby's Castle   Dark As a Dungeon   Day The Saw Mill Closed Down   Dear John Letter   Dear Wastebasket   Dear Wastebasket   Deepening Snow   Delia's Gone   Delia's Gone   Detroit City   Don't It Make You Want To Go Home   Don't Let That Doorknob Hit You   Don't Think Twice It's All Right   Don't Think You're Too Good For Country Music   Don't Think You're Too Good For Country Music (Jus...   Don't Turn Out The Light   Don't You Ever Get Tired (of Hurtin' Me)   Don't It Make You Want To Go Home   Don't Let That Doorknob Hit You   Don't Think Twice It's All Right   Don't Think You're Too Good For Country ...   Don't Turn Out The Light   Don't You Ever Get Tired (Of Hurtin' Me)   Down In Mexico   Down To My Last Come And Get Me   Dream Baby (How Long Must I Dream)   Drink Up And Go Home   Drinkin' From The Bottle (singin' From The Heart)   Drinkin' From The Bottle (Singin' From T...   Drop Kick Me Jesus   Drop Kick Me, Jesus   Dropkick Me Jesus   Dropping Out of Sight   Early Morning Rain   Easy As Dreaming   Fairy Tale   Family Bible   Farewell, Angelina   Farmer Feeds Us All   February Snow   Fellow Travelers   Find Out What's Happening   Find Out What's Happening   Finger On The Button   Five Hundred Miles Away from Home   Folsom Prison Blues   Fool   For A While We Helped Each Other Out   For the Good Times   Four Strong Winds   Gambler   Game of Triangles   Game of Triangles   Game Of Triangles   Giving Tree   God Bless America Again   Gods Were Angry With Me   Goin' Home   Goin' Up's Easy, Comin' Down's Hard   Goin' Up's Easy, Comin' Down's...   Good For Nothing Blues   Goodnight Irene   Goodnight Irene [*]   Got Leavin' On Her Mind   Got Leavin' On Her Mind   Gotta Travel On   Great Snowman   Green Green Grass Of Home   Guess I'll Move On Down The Line   Guess I'll Move On Down The Line   Hard Time Hungrys   Have I Stayed Away Too Long   He Was A Friend Of Mine   He's Got The Whole World In His Hands   He's Got The Whole World In His Hands   Heaven Help My Soul   Hello Darlin'   Hello Darlin'   Help Me Make It Through the Night   Help Me Make It Throught the Night   Hillbilly Hell   Homesick   Homestead On The Farm   House of the Rising Sun   Houston   How About You   How I Got to Memphis   I Can't Watch The Movie Anymore   I Don't Believe I'll Fall In Love Today   I Don't Care (just As Long As You Love Me)   I Don't Believe I'll Fall In Love Today   I Don't Care (Just As Long As You Love Me)   I Got You   I Love You   I Love You Drops   I Need Some Good News Bad   I Saw the Light   I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For   I Was a Young Man Once   I Was Coming Home To You   I Was Coming Home to You   I Washed My Face In The Morning Dew   I Wonder Where You Are Tonight   I'd Fight The World   I'll Fly Away   I'm Gettin' Lonely   I'm Her Hoss If I Never Win A Race   I'm So Afraid Of Losing You Again   I've Got a Thing About Trains   I've Lived A Lot In My Time   I'd Fight The World   I'll Fly Away   I'm Gettin' Lonely   I'm Her Hoss If I Never Win A Race   I'm So Afraid Of Losing You Again   I've Got A Thing About Trains   I've Lived A Lot In My Time   If That Ain't Love   If That Ain't Love   If There's Not A Hell (there Ought To Be)   If There's Not A Hell (There Ought To Be)   If You Think I'm Crazy Now   If You Think I'm Crazy Now   In The Hills Of Shiloh   In The Misty Moonlight   Invisible Tears   Is It Wrong (for Loving You)   It Ain't Me Babe   It Ain't Me Babe   It's A Freezing In El Paso   It's Alright   It's A Freezing In El Paso   Jeannie's Last Kiss   Jeannie's Last Kiss   Jennifer Johnson And Me   Jesus Christ What A Man   Jesus Christ, What A Man   Jesus Is The Only One That Loves Us   Jogger   John Hardy   Just A Closer Walk With Thee   Just in Case (A Night Like This One Never Comes Ag...   Just The Other Side Of Nowhere   Just To Satisfy You   Law Is for Protection of the People   Leave My Baby Alone   Leaving On A Jet Plane   Lemon Tree   Less of Me   Let Me Tell You About Mary   Let's Make Love Not War   Let's Make Love Not War   Little Bit Later On Down The Line   Lonely Street   Lonely Town   Lonesome Valley   Long Black Limousine   Long Black Veil   Long Way To Tennessee   Look Who I'm Cheating On Tonight   Look Who I'm Cheating On Tonight   Lookout Mountain   Lorena   Lot Of Soul   Love Forever   Love's Gonna Live Here   Lovin' You Anyway   Lovin' Her Was Easier   Lovin' You Anyway   Loving Her Was Easier   Lullabys Legends And Lies   Lullabys, Legends and Lies   Lynchin' Party   Maggie (i Wish We'd Never Met)   Maggie (I Wish We'd Never Met)   Mama Bake A Pie (daddy Kill A Chicken)   Mama Bake A Pie (Papa Kill A Chicken)   Man Of Constant Sorrow   Margie's At The Lincoln Park Inn (1969)   Marie Laveau   Marie Laveau (1974)   Marie Leveau   Mary Ann Regrets   Me and Bobby McGee   Me and Bobby McGhee   Me And Jimmie Rodgers   Memphis Tennessee   Miller's Cave   Miller's Cave   Millers Cave   Million Miles To The City   Monkey And The Elephant   Mrs Jones, Your Daughter Cried All Night   Mrs. Jones Your Daughter Cried All Night   My Elusive Dreams   My Heart Cries for You   New York City Snow   No Sad Songs For Me   Numbers   Ode To The Little Brown Shack Out Back   Old Gang's Gone   Old Gang's Gone   One Among The Three Of Us   One Day at a Time   Passin' Through   Passin' Through   Paul   Please Don't Tell Me How the Story Ends   Please Don't Tell Me How The Story Ends   Pursuing Happiness   Qualudes Again   Rainy Day In Richmond   Real Thing (More Than A Memory)   Rest Awhile   Ricky Tic Song   Ride Me Down Easy   Rock Star's Lament   Rodeo Queen   Rosalie   Rosalie's Good Eats Cafe   Rosalie's Good Eats Cafe   Roselee   Rosie's Restaurant   Rosie's Restaurant   Rough on the Living   Ruby Don't Take Your Love To Town   Ruby Don't Take Your Love To Town   Saginaw Michigan   Sailor Man   Salt Lake City   Scarlet Ribbons (for Her Hair)   See That Bluebird   Shame on Me   She Called Me Baby   She Thinks I Can   She's My Ever Lovin' Machine   She's My Ever Lovin' Machine   Short and Sweet   Silence Is Golden   Sing For The Song   Singer Of Sad Songs   Singin' in the Kitchen   Singin' In The Kitchen   Sittin' And Thinkin'   Sittin' And Thinkin'   Six Days On The Road   Sleep Tight, Good Night Man   Sleep Tight, Good Night Man [*]   So Soon   Some Days Are Diamonds (Some Days Are Stone)   Somebody Bought My Old Hometown   Son Of Hickory Holler's Tramp   Son Of Hickory Holler's Tramp   Stacy Brown Got Two   Strange Bird   Streets Of Baltimore   Streets Of Baltimore (1966)   Sunday Morning Coming Down   Sure Hit Songwriter's Pen   Sure Hit Songwriters Pen   Sweet Dreams   Sweeter Than The Flowers   Take Me as I Am (Or Let Me Go)   Take Me Home To Mama   Talk Me Some Sense   Talk Me Some Sense [With Recitation]   Tall Oak Tree   Tecumseh Valley   Tequila Sheila   That's All I Want From You   That's How I Got To Memphis   That's How I Wanted It To Be   The All American Boy   The Deepening Snow   The Devil and Billy Markham   The Diet Song   The Fool   The Gambler   The Game of Triangles   The Gods Were Angry With Me   The Jogger   The Jogger [*]   The Long Black Veil   The Son Of Hickory Holler's Tramp   The Streets of Baltimore   The Winner   The Woman In Every Man's Life   There Never Was A Time   They Covered Up The Old Swimmin' Hole   They Covered up the Old Swimming Hole   This Guitar Is for Sale   This Guitar Is for Sale [*]   Three Legged Man   Till I Get on My Feet   Time   Times Are Gettin' Hard   Tired of the Road Joe   Together Again   Tom Dooley   Too Many Nights Alone   Too Used To Being With You   Travelin' Minstrel Man   Truck Driver Truck Driver   True Love   True Story   Truer Love You'll Never Find   Try to Remember   Tulsa County   Two For A Dollar   Unemployment Line   Unicorn   Up Against the Wall Redneck Mother   Vincennes   Waitress At Main Street Cafe   Warm And Free   Watching The Trains Go By   We Helped Each Other Out (For A While)   We Must Have Been Out Of Our Minds   We'll Sing In The Sunshine   West Virginia Woman   What Am I Gonna Do   What Am I Gonna Do?   What Kind of Bird Is That   When Am I Ever Gonna Settle Down   When God Dips His Love In My Heart   When I Want To Love A Lady   When I'm Gone   When I've Learned Enough To Die   When Love Is Gone   When the Wind Blows (In Chicago)   When the Wind Blows in Chicago   Where Have All The Seasons Gone   Where'd I Come From   Which One Is To Blame   Wife Of The Party   Wild As The Wind   Wilma Lou   Winner   Woman You Have Been A Friend To Me   Wonderful Soup Stone   World's Last Truck Driving Man   Worried Man Blues   Y'all Come   Yard Full Of Rusty Cars   You Are   You Can't Stop The Wild Wind From Blowing   You Made A Believer Out Of Me   Your Adorable Beast   Your Favorite Hat   Your Husband My Wife

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