Some time ago, at Santa's placeUp in the old North PoleThere lived a lump of anthraciteWhose parents called him JoelJoel, Joel, the lump of coalHappy as a lump can beHe just wants to keep Santa warmAnd make the elves cozyBut Santa Claus had other plansFor Joel one fateful dayJoel, you're just the lump I needCome join me on my sleighJoel, Joel, the lump of coalHeart leapt up with joyI'll soon be Santa's present toA lucky girl or boyWe'll laugh and play togetherAnd hold each other tightSnuggle under clean white sheetsWhen we go to sleep at nightThen Santa's elves all laughed at JoelYou're in for a surpriseYou're not a special Christmas giftYou're just a booby prizeWhat kid would ever want you?You're filthy as can beNow you have to go and liveWith one who's been naughtyBut I make heat, poor Joel criedAnd electricityYou pollute the airWith CO2 and mercuryJoel, Joel, the lump of coalFell down upon his kneesI don't wanna live with a naughty kidDon't make me, Santa, pleaseBut Santa laughed his jolly laughHo, ho, you stupid lumpYou're just the thing to teach this bratThat Santa ain't no chumpSo off they flew and, before he knewJoel was in a sackHe cried and yelled to Santa ClausWhy don't we just go back?And then came Christmas morningAnd, much to Joel's surprise (Much to Joel's surprise)He saw a boy with the saddest faceAnd tears were in his eyes (Tears were in his eyes)He picked Joel up and held himAnd said You can be my friend (Hey man, let's be friends)I would've liked some presents butYou're what Santa chose to send (Santa chose to send)It's true, I've been a naughty boyAnd maybe that's a sin (Maybe that's a sin)If this is how Santa treats the kidsI'm just glad that I'm not himJoel, Joel, the lump of coalKnew what he must doHe said Now I know the reason whyI got sent to youCause when a person hurts insideIt turns him hard and cruelBut I know how to make your painInto a precious jewelSo take me in your hand, young manAnd squeeze with all your mightLet's turn your pain and angerInto something that shines brightThen Joel, Joel, the lump of coalHe gave his life awaySo that one good naughty little boyFound a diamond on Christmas day
Lyrics by The Killers
(#6) A Crippling Blow A Crippling Blow (Bonus Track) A Dustland Fairytale A Dustland Fairytale (from Day & Age, 2008) A Dustland Fairytale (Plus Reprise) A Dustland Fairytale (Plus Reprise) [Live] A Great Big Sled A Matter Of Time A White Demon Love Song ¡Happy Birthday Guadalupe! All The Pretty Faces All These Things I've Done All These Things That I've Don All These Things That I've Done All These Things That I've Done (from Hot Fuss, 20... Andy your a Star Andy, You're A Star Battle Born Be Still Be Still (from Battle Born, 2012) Beautiful Believe Me Natalie Belive Me Natalie Bling Bling (Confession Of A King) Bling (Confession Of A King) (Extended) Bones Boots Born to Wonder Can You Read My Mind? Carry Me Home Change Your Mind Christmas In L.A. Christmas In LA Confessions Of A King Crippling Blow Daddy's Eyes Day & Age Day and Age Deadlines And Commitments Desperate Dirt Sledding Don't Shoot Me Santa Don\u2019t Shoot Me Santa Dustland Fairytale Enterlude Everything Will Be Alright Exitlude Exitude Flesh And Bone Flesh And Bone (Jacques lu Cont Remix) Flesh And Bone (Jacques Lu Cont Remix) BONUS For Reasons Unknown For Reasons Unknown (from Sam's Town, 2006) Forget About What I Said Four Winds From Here On Out Get Trashed Glamorous Indie Rock & Roll Glamourous Indie Rock & Roll Glamourous Indie Rock n Roll Go All The Way Goodnight, Travel Well Happy Birthday Guadalupe Heart Of A Girl Here With Me Hotel California Human Human - Hyde Park Human (from Day & Age, 2008) I Can't Stay I Can't Stay (Plus Piano Reprise) I Cant Stay (Plus Piano Reprise) [Live] I Feel It in My Bones Indie Rock 'n Roll Indie Rock & Roll Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine [Live] Joseph, Better You Than Me Joseph, Better You Than Me [feat. Elton John, Neil... Joy Ride Joyride Just Another Girl Leave The Bourbon On The Shelf Leave The Bourbon On The Shelf Losing Touch Losing Touch [Live] Midnight Show Miss Atomic Bom Miss Atomic Bomb Miss Atomic Bomb (from Battle Born, 2012) Moonage Daydream (David Bowie cover) Move Away Mr Bright Side (Zane Low Session) Mr Brightside Mr. Brightsaide Mr. Brightside Mr. Brightside (demo) Mr. Brightside (from Hot Fuss, 2003) Mr. Brightside (J. Lu Cont/Lindbergh Palace Mixes) Mr. Brightside (Jacque Lu Cont's Thin White Duke M... Mr. Brightside (with changes) Mr. Brightside <(the real MrBrightside (Jacques Lu Cont's Thin White Duke R... My List Neon Tiger Not True Oh Yeah, By the Way On Top Peace Of Mind Prize Fighter Read My Mind Read My Mind (from Sam's Town, 2006) Read My Mind (Like Rebel Diamonds Remix) Replaceable Romeo And Juliet Ruby, Don't Take Your Love To Town Runaways Runaways (from Battle Born, 2012) Sam's Town Sam's Town (Abbey Road Version) Sam's Town (Abbey Road Version) Sam's Town (Acoustic) Sam's Town (Piano Version) Shadowplay Shot At The Night Shot At the Night (Single) Show You How smile like u mean it Smile Like You Mean It Smile Like You Mean It - V Festival Smile Like You Mean It (from Hot Fuss, 2003) Smile Like You Mean It [Live] Soft Surrender (Where Is She?) Soft Surrender (Where is She) Somebody Told Me Somebody Told Me - Josh Harris Club (bonus track) Somebody Told Me (from Hot Fuss, 2003) Spaceman Spaceman (Extended) Spaceman (from Day & Age, 2008) Stereo Of Lies Sweet Talk The Ballad Of Michael Valentine The Cowboy's Christmas Ball The Cowboys' Christmas Ball The Cowboys\u2019 Christmas Ball The Rising Tide The Way It Was The Way It Was (from Battle Born, 2012) The World We Live In The World We Live In [Live] This Is Your Life This Is Your Life [Live] This River Is Wild Tidal Wave Tranquilize Tranquilize - Oxegen Festival Ultra Violet Uncle Jonny Under The Gun Waiting for Love When You Were A Starlight When You Were Young When You Were Young (Calvin Harris Remix) When You Were Young (from Sam's Town, 2006) When You Were Young (Remix) Where Is She? Where The White Boys Dance Who Let You Go Who Let You Go? Why Do I Keep Counting? Why Don't You Find Out For Yourself
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